In this episode, we’re taking an emotional journey through the highs and lows of sewing. Do you ever feel guilty for buying ready-to-wear clothes? Do you do a happy dance whenever you make a perfect buttonhole? Do you have complicated feelings about the fitting process? You’re not alone!
The transcript for this episode is on this page at the end of the show notes.
Show Notes:
- “Hippie Patchwork June Pants” at Helen’s Closet
Transcript:
Caroline: We are recording today on the traditional, ancestral, and unceded territories of the Coast Salish and Kwakwaka’wakw peoples, including Tsleil-Waututh, Squamish, Musqueam, and K’ómoks first nations.
Hello and welcome to Love To Sew. I’m Caroline, the owner of Blackbird Fabrics and BF Patterns.
Helen: and I’m Helen, the designer behind Helen’s Closet Patterns and Cedar Quilt Co.
Caroline: We’re two sewing buds who love to sew and it’s all we ever talk about.
Helen: In this episode, we’re taking an emotional journey through the highs and lows of sewing. Do you ever feel guilty for buying ready-to-wear clothes? Do you do a happy dance whenever you make a perfect buttonhole? Do you have complicated feelings about the fitting process? You are not alone.
Caroline: If you love to sew, this is your show. Hi, Helen.
Helen: Hi, Caroline.
Caroline: Boy, do I have some big feelings to talk about today.
Helen: Big sewing feelings. I am so excited for this episode. It’s gonna be a bit more chatty. We haven’t prepped a ton. We have a list of some feelings we’re gonna talk about, and we’re just gonna see what happens.
Caroline: Yeah. We’re gonna let the conversation flow, and I’m sure it will, ’cause we both have a lot of thoughts on the topic.
Helen: I know it’s a, it’s a bit of a can of worms. We were like, let’s talk about sewing feelings, and then before we knew it, we had a very long list of options.
Caroline: All the different feelings. Yeah, absolutely. Okay. But before we dive into the show, we wanted to remind you all the best way to support Love to Sew is by joining us over on Patreon or Apple Podcast subscriptions. We do talk a lot about our feelings over there, too.
Helen: We sure do.
Caroline: You’ll get access to bonus content every month, and we have so much fun catching up with you all on those more casual bonus episodes. And it means so much to us if you’re able to support us, even if it’s just for a month or two. And of course, if that’s not in the cards for you right now, we totally get it.
Helen: Yeah, and there’s also a secret bonus way you can support us for free, which is to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts. We love reading your reviews and it would mean so much if you could take some time to do that.
Caroline: Yes. And above all, thank you all for listening and cheering us on.
Helen: Yeah. I have big feelings about our listeners.
Caroline: Yeah, me too. You guys are the best.
Helen: You are the best. We love you so much.
Caroline: Alright, let’s start this episode by answering a listener question. Megan wrote, “Hello from Michigan! I have a few 1 inch ribbons I’ve collected from estate sales or travels – fancy embroidered ones or jacquard. Is there another name for these? If so, let me know. I want to use them in a sewing project, but not just as an afterthought, like on the hem of a dress – are there any patterns that feature ribbons? Or would look intentional as part of the pattern? Trying to use my pretty notions!”
Helen: Ooh. Hi, Megan. This is a really fun sewing challenge and I can relate. I have a collection of trims and ribbons and things that I’ve collected over the years and it is hard to find places to use them. Or I just forget to use them entirely. And those kinds of ribbons are so pretty. I’ve seen them called jacquard ribbons, like you said, or sometimes tapestry ribbons. There are so many beautiful trims out there and I feel like most of us are underusing them, and it’s just ’cause the vast majority of patterns are designed as a base to build off of. So they don’t necessarily tell you when and where you could incorporate things like trims. So you have to do a little bit of design work on your own to figure out how to incorporate them into the garment. But we do have some ideas today for what you could do with your ribbons.
Caroline: Yes. Okay. So ribbons can make really cute dress straps. You can applique them over the top of a self fabric strap, or use them to completely replace the strap. Ribbon straps that tie in bows at the shoulder could be super cute.
Helen: Yes, I love a little shoulder tie. You could create new fabric with your trims, especially if you have a lot. Applique ribbons onto the backing fabric in stripes or diamond patterns. And then use that fabric to make yokes for shirts, dresses, or skirts. Even an entire top, like the Ashton Top, would be a good choice for this. Something that can hold a little bit of a stiffer fabric.
Caroline: That would be so cute. You could even sew your ribbons side by side to a backing fabric or sew-in interfacing. The backing fabric is not gonna be visible. And then you could just use your new sturdy fabric to make something that needs structure, like a bag.
Helen: Ooh, I could see a really cute little makeup bag or something. A small little dopp kit with a bunch of ribbons appliqued on the outside. That would be so cute.
Caroline: Yeah.
Helen: Nordic sweaters often have a button placket that is finished on the inside with jacquard ribbon. It would be cool to reference that on a sewn cardigan, or maybe upcycle something to add this detail.
Caroline: Yeah. And there are a lot of European folk costumes that are decorated with jacquard ribbons. So you can do some Googling to see how they place the ribbons. And if you like the style, you can sketch out some ideas for incorporating it into a modern pattern.
Helen: And of course, you can add them to the hem of a dress. I know you said you didn’t want to, but hear me out. What if you added more than one to the hem and make some stripes at the hem of the dress with your ribbons? Or you could do stripes down the side of a garment like pants or a top for a sportier look. It might look more intentional than just putting one trim on the bottom.
Caroline: Yeah, definitely. I’m really excited for you to use your beautiful trims. we should all be using our trims and notions that are just in a drawer gathering dust.
Helen: Do you FEEL guilty about that, Caroline?
Caroline: Oh yeah.
Helen: Yeah. We’re gonna get into it. Today’s episode is all about the emotional journey of sewing. We’re gonna delve into these great and terrible moments that we all feel and might not always talk about. Because sewing is an emotional journey.
Caroline: It really is. I mean, we’ve had emotional chats on the show before about sewing, but it’s been a little while since we’ve had a heart-to-heart about all the different feelings that come up. So I’m ready.
Helen: Yes. Okay. Let’s start off with some really good feelings. Creative autonomy and agency. And honestly, this might be my favourite thing about sewing, is the ability to create whatever I want. That creative energy I feel when I’m looking at my fabric and I’m thinking what I could make with it and I’m dreaming up possible projects. I find that part of sewing so exciting.
Caroline: I know, me too. I often get inspiration from, like, Pinterest or even, like, coworkers, ’cause I am surrounded by amazing sewists all day long. But some of my favourite projects have come from just, like, ideas in my head. You know, like just all of a sudden you’re dreaming, or I don’t know, like on public transit and you’re like, wait, I have to make this. It just came to me all of a sudden.
Helen: Yeah, and the feeling of having the power to take that idea and make it a reality, and it doesn’t even feel like that big a jump a lot of the time, because I do sew a lot. And so I’m used to that feeling of being like, oh, I would really love to have a jacket that has that particular yoke, and then maybe I could add some like corduroy details and make it just a little bit longer than that one that I saw on Pinterest…and I’m like, I can do that. I feel so confident in my ability to do that, which is pretty amazing.
Caroline: I know. That really feels like a superpower with sewing, to be able to say like, oh, I’m seeing something in my head and I know that I can execute this. Like, I have the skills. I know where to get the materials. I have the tools that I need. Like, all I need is my hands and my brain and, like, I can do it. You know? It’s so empowering. It’s one of the best things about sewing and it also gives you a lot of freedom to experiment. Like, we’re limited in ready-to-wear with, like, what is available to us in our size or in our budget, or in the stores that are near us. But, like, with sewing, there are very few limitations and it gives you a lot of space to try different things that you maybe wouldn’t be able to access if you were only buying ready-to-wear clothes.
Helen: Yeah, it has encouraged me to experiment with my style a lot, too. I really like trying new trends, trying new ideas, new fabrics, and it’s just inspiring me to explore my wardrobe more and explore my personal style and my self-expression, which is really fun.
Caroline: Yeah. I feel like you are such a creative sewist, like I’ve always looked up to you for that because you do a lot of experimentation and you’re not always making things that you’re like, I know I’m gonna wear this every single day. Like, you’re not afraid to try a completely out-there style just for the fun of it and, like, the joy of the process.
Helen: Oh, thank you.
Caroline: Yeah. I can even think back to, like, refashioning projects that you’ve done in the past and then, like, cool, like, quilted garments that you’ve made, like your patchwork pants and even the dress that you made recently with all the Fableism scraps. Like, they’re like heirloom pieces that are really special and they’re not necessarily things you’re gonna wear every day, but it seems like you got a lot out of them just from the process.
Helen: Those are definitely my favourite projects to make. I have so much fun making them and the, just, swell of creative excitement that I get when I am in the throes of making something like that. It’s pretty euphoric. Like, it is why I love to sew. But I will say, there’s a flip side to that. Like, you talking about that made me think to myself, like, oh, but I do feel kind of bad that I don’t wear those things. Like there is a, like, a low point, you know. Like, now it’s in my closet. I’ve worn it maybe once, sometimes not at all. And like, I had so much fun making it, I don’t regret making it, but it’s sort of like that, is it art or is it sewing? You know, like, I made it for the purpose of creating art and feeling that creative euphoria, and then now it’s not necessarily getting worn all the time. And I feel kind of guilty about that.
Caroline: I know, it can be challenging to shift your mindset as a sewist to focus more on the process than the product and not always be chasing that, like, finished thing that you’re gonna get to use. We’ve used the analogy many times as, like, a painter, like, not all paintings are put on display. You know, like some paintings are just there for practice and you are sort of, like, exercising those creative muscles. And also I wanna mention, just like, with the guilt piece, because I, I feel like you have to remember, Helen, that you’re sharing your process. That’s such a gift. Like, you making content around all of these garments and sharing it with the sewing community, like, so many people get joy from that, too. And I think that that holds value, as well. Like, there’s value in those connections and the inspiration to other people, and even if you don’t end up wearing that garment all the time, like, it does have value, you know?
Helen: Yeah. It’s so true. And I love the analogy of the painting, because of course we have to practice and if I’m enjoying the process, isn’t that the most important thing? Like, I’m in the moment in those projects. I am, like, in the zone sewing all those tiny pieces of fabric together, and I’m having the best time ever. Like, that’s number one.
Caroline: I think I am really guilty of kind of the opposite, of like, I’m chasing that final product and I’m not always immersing myself in the process. And like, I think we talk about that with slow sewing, too, where it’s like, slow down and just, like, appreciate every step. And as sewists, it can be hard to do that, right? Because you’re like, what, I’m supposed to appreciate, like, inserting this invisible zipper five times? You know?
Helen: Interfacing all those pieces.
Caroline: Yeah. Like burning my hand on this iron? Like, no, I don’t appreciate that.
Helen: I should clarify. I am not going slow in this process. I’m enjoying the process, but I’m going as fast as I possibly can.
Caroline: Yeah.
Helen: It’s half the fun of it. I do think that, like I was saying, the creativity and the agency is one of my favourite things about sewing. And I also really like that it’s, like, start and finish. You know, I think it’s satisfying to start a project and it’s satisfying to finish a project and then you have this physical representation of what you did, of your work. And a lot of the work that we do in our lives is never really finished, like housework or parenting or even our jobs, you know, it’s like, every day you go and there’s always more stuff to do. Sewing is like, I can start the top and I can finish the top and then it’s done.
Caroline: Yeah. Until you have to mend it. But…
Helen: Yeah. And then you can put it in the closet and you don’t even have to wear it. It’s perfect.
Caroline: I’m saying that as someone with a huge pile of mending that I need to deal with, but no, it’s so true. Having that physical representation is so cool, and then we get to wear it. It’s not just, you know, often not just on display. We get to wear it all the time and enjoy it.
Helen: Yeah, and I do make a lot of things that I wear all the time. I wanna put that out there, also.
Caroline: You have a lot of clothes.
Helen: I have a lot of clothes. I can’t, they can’t all be in regular rotation, but some of them make it to the top and get worn, like, every other day. So you just never know.
Caroline: I would love to see. Not to like, give you more ideas for content or…but I would love to see some content around, like, what your most-worn pieces have been. Like, what has made it to the top, what’s on regular rotation.
Helen: That’s a good idea. Yeah. I love that idea. Okay. Putting it on the list.
Caroline: Do you ever hit creative blocks or low points? ‘Cause I feel like I get into that space sometimes where I just, like, am not feeling super inspired or I can’t decide what to make. Like, nothing is really that appealing to me. Like, what do you do when that happens?
Helen: I experience a lot of project paralysis where there’s too many ideas, but I don’t think that’s quite the same thing. So what happens to you when you have that creative block? Do you give yourself permission to just not sew for a while?
Caroline: Yeah. I think that what happens is, like, sometimes I’ll just be inspired by something else, like a different hobby, and then I’ll take a break from sewing and, like, I think we’re gonna bring it back to guilt a lot in this episode, ’cause guilt is, like, a really prevalent emotion for me with sewing.
Helen: It is. Guilt and shame are always lurking there in the background.
Caroline: Yeah. So like, I think there’s definitely guilt in spending time on other hobbies when I’ve built my whole business and this podcast around sewing. But yeah, I still haven’t figured out how to, when I hit that inspiration block or, like, that creative block, kind of like push through it, you know. Usually the thing that works for me is stepping away and then coming back when I’m feeling inspired again. And usually that inspiration, for me, comes from, like, a goal, like, oh, I’m going on this trip, or I have this event, or I have this, like, very specific idea in my mind of an outfit that I wanna make, so, like, I have to make this outfit. And usually that execution happens really quickly, or not at all.
Helen: Yeah, it is good to have a deadline. And I have lots of deadlines for my sewing ’cause I’m always planning content around what I’m making. So I think that is what kind of keeps me going, is thinking of things that I could share on our website and on our social media. And I get really excited about sharing those things and that motivates me to wanna, to wanna make them. But some days you just don’t wanna do anything. And it’s like, I’m standing at my sewing table and I’m like, ah, just cut out the project. Just cut out the project. Just cut out the project. And I have to, like, force my hands to move and force myself to lay out the pattern and I’m like, ugh, the whole time. And then often by the end I’m like, oh, I’m so excited to sew this shirt.
Caroline: I think that this, there’s something to this idea of, like, going into your sewing room for like 20 minutes a day or 30 minutes a day, and just, like, forcing yourself…even five minutes. I feel like I’ve seen folks do like a five minute challenge where it’s like, it usually doesn’t end up just being five minutes, but that five minutes just gets you in the door, and then as soon as you start, like, moving your hands and, like, doing the thing, then you get hooked. You know?
Helen: Yeah. And then you spend half an hour or an hour instead. Yeah. And you can also get a lot done in five minutes.
Caroline: Totally. And like, how rare is it that you would go into your sewing room and start working on something and then, like, regret it? Like, I don’t regret it once I get going, right?
Helen: No. I have had experiences where I’ve started working on something, I’m like, okay, I am just gonna, I have lots of things I need to sew. I’m just gonna pick something. I’m just gonna work on it. And I start cutting out a project or something and, like, partway through, I’m like, yeah, I really just, this is not the one. I picked the wrong one. I don’t wanna do this one. And I just put it aside and I try a different one.
Caroline: Yeah. I actually very recently had that experience, where I decided I was gonna make something. I started cutting out and I was like, wait, I don’t even wanna make this. Why am I cutting this out? Like, what? Let me work on something that I’m more excited about, you know? Life’s too short.
Helen: Yeah, you have to follow your sewing heart.
Caroline: I do think, making clothes, like, the process of making clothes has so many highs and lows, and a lot of those come from fitting, as well. I feel like we need to talk about that.
Helen: Mm-hmm. Yeah. When the body’s involved…
Caroline: Mm-hmm.
Helen: You just never know where the emotions are gonna take you.
Caroline: Oh my gosh. And like, you’re making your wedding dress right now. By the time this episode comes out, you will be married, so.
Helen: Officially.
Caroline: Yeah. But has that come up for you?
Helen: I mean, the fitting has not been so bad ’cause I’m using a pattern that I know fits me really well, and I kind of have a strong vision. But I have been having a lot of feelings about how much I should care about the dress.
Caroline: Yeah.
Helen: Like, I kept waiting for that moment where I was like, I’m gonna make a ballgown and I’m gonna do couture techniques. And this is, like, the pinnacle of my sewing and it’s all brought me to this moment. And I’m gonna make this beautiful gown and it’s gonna be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever made. And it’s gonna be stunning and, and it is gonna be stunning. It’s, it’s a beautiful dress, but it just, that feeling of, like, wanting to make the ultimate dress just never came. And I just kept feeling like, I just kind of wanna make a pretty dress and wear it for six hours and never wear it again, and not make it this, like, big, monumental moment in my sewing journey.
Caroline: Yeah. That’s a lot of pressure. You’re putting, you’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself, so I’m glad that you’re letting that go a little bit. ‘Cause I don’t think it has to be that.
Helen: No, it doesn’t. Did you feel that way when you were making your wedding dress, that you wanted it to be, like, sort of the best thing you’ve ever made?
Caroline: Yeah, I put a similar pressure on myself and, like, I didn’t even wanna make my wedding dress to begin with, for that reason. Like, you know, years before I had been like, I’m never making my wedding dress. That’s too much pressure. And then I was like, okay, I guess I will. But yeah, no, for sure. Yeah, I’m trying to think back, like, in the moment I think I was just, I had a really clear vision of what I wanted, and I just wanted to execute that vision. And it wasn’t couture, it wasn’t, like, super fancy, but I kind of just, like, I did have that feeling of like, that’s the dress I want.
Helen: Yeah.
Caroline: But I don’t think everybody has that feeling. Even with dress shopping, I’m sure not everyone has that feeling,
Helen: Yeah. I think if my sewing experience and journey had been more focused on making gowns or couture sewing techniques or then it would maybe feel like more of a culmination of all of my skills and I could make something really extravagant, but I actually don’t have a lot of experience. So I was like, I guess I’d have to learn all of these skills and then apply them to my dress, which felt like a lot of pressure. And then I was talking to Sam about it, and he made a really good point where he was like, for a lot of people, a wedding dress is, like, maybe their first ever custom fitted garment. And it feels really special because it’s, like, for them, and it, you’re getting it, like, properly tailored and fitted to your body and you go through this, like, journey of picking and choosing, you get that creative autonomy and agency we were just talking about in a way you don’t necessarily get when you’re just shopping for ready-to-wear. But as a sewist, like, I’ve made, I don’t know, a hundred custom fitted dresses and, and I’ve enjoyed all of those, as well. And so I’m just kind of used to having nice custom-fitted clothes and so it just doesn’t feel that big a deal.
Caroline: Excuse you.
Helen: Humble brag.
Caroline: I, it’s so true. Sam is so right with that. And like, also, it’s just one day. And also, like you mentioned, like, you are doing so much for your wedding. You have all of these other things that you’re doing. It’s a very DIY wedding. So this is just, like, one piece of the puzzle that’s gonna make the day feel like you. And I’m realizing we shouldn’t talk too much about your wedding ’cause we’re gonna do a whole episode on it.
Helen: It’s true. Okay. And I’ll try not to repeat myself too much over there, but I, I have had some big sewing feelings about the wedding dress, for sure. But overall, I will say I’m feeling very positive about it, happy with where I’m at, with just feeling like, yeah, it’s just a nice dress for a nice, special day, you know?
Caroline: Awesome. Well, this will be a fun juxtaposition because I think when we record the episode about your wedding, you will have been married, so we’ll have a postmortem.
Helen: Exactly. We can talk about it in post and I’ll be like, oh, and then I spilled red wine on it, and then I ripped it, and who knows what’s gonna happen.
Caroline: Who knows? It’s gonna be a crazy day.
Helen: But anyways, back to fitting, because I do wanna talk about feelings around fitting and just feelings around bodies in general. It’s hard. From the moment you take those measurements to the moment you’re looking in the mirror at the final make, it can be hard, it can be messy, it can be emotional, positive and negative. So that’s just the truth.
Caroline: Yeah. It, it really is. Fitting is tough. You know, it’s funny, ’cause when I do fitting, like, I’m often doing it, like, in the mirror, like, privately at home. You know, you can take your time with it. The part that I struggle with sometimes is like, when I’ll take a picture of, like, let’s say I’ll be like, Shea, take a picture of my butt.
Helen: Yeah.
Caroline: You know, because I can’t see it properly. And then I’m looking at the picture and I’m like, wait, what? I’ve never seen my body from this angle. Like, you are analyzing fit from so many different angles, so close up. You’re so intimately aware of your body when you’re sewing and even shopping for clothes. I don’t feel like I’m that intimately aware of my body, you know?
Helen: No. Yeah. You’re thinking about all the different parts and how you can improve upon the fitting in those areas, or how you want it to fit to look a certain way, and I think intimacy is the perfect word. It is a very intimate experience. And that can be positive, too, because I feel like I’m so familiar with myself, my measurements, which you don’t need to be familiar with, but I happen to be familiar with. As sewists, we are, right? And we’re constantly measuring ourselves. So that’s like, sizing is just like, no big deal for me anymore. I’m like, it doesn’t, I don’t, what size am I? Who cares? I just need to know the numbers so I can make it fit.
Caroline: Yeah. Do you find that your relationship with size has changed since you started sewing? Because it’s almost like we’re desensitized to it. It’s like we’re constantly taking our measurements. We tell people, take your measurements every time you pick a size for a new pattern. ‘Cause weight fluctuates, you know? So I have a similar experience where I’m always taking my measurements.
Helen: Yeah, exactly. And you do, I think you do get desensitized and, like, obviously it’s different for different people. Some people are gonna be more sensitive about that than others. But for me, it’s like really just a nothing burger now. It’s like, they are truly just numbers and they don’t really hold, like, emotional weight. And it does fluctuate and you get used to seeing those fluctuations. So it’s just not, like, shocking or strange to witness yourself changing size.
Caroline: Mm-hmm. And like, isn’t it empowering that we can then make clothes for whatever size we are in that moment, you know?
Helen: Yeah, exactly. And that really does feel amazing. And I get frustrated when I go to ready-to-wear stores, as I know you do, too. Being at the, I’m at the upper end of a lot of ready-to-wear size ranges or out of the size range in most stores. So things don’t fit and I, I feel really frustrated and sad and bad when I’m in fitting rooms and things aren’t fitting. And I would so much rather be in my sewing room with my measuring tape, having control.
Caroline: It’s so true. Yeah. it’s always tricky to see something that doesn’t fit well on your body, but I’d 1,000,000% rather have that experience as a sewist when I’m sewing something and I know I have the power to fix it, than in a fitting room where you’re like, well, this is the best I can do, you know?
Helen: Yeah. And I try to practice more of a body neutrality approach. And you know, your body is your body. It just is. It’s not good or bad. And when I’m sewing, I try to take that approach as just, this is just sort of the physical form that I am working with.
Caroline: Yeah.
Helen: And I’m trying to avoid feeling emotions about that. But of course, we’re looking in the mirror, we’re trying to look good. So it’s really hard to balance those feelings. And when you’re looking at a badly fitting muslin, it just looks bad. It looks bad, you look bad.
Caroline: Yeah.
Helen: It’s so hard to not feel bad when you look bad.
Caroline: Yeah. No, for sure. And, like, bad is subjective. Like we’ve, you know what I mean? I think, like, we have the power to decide what looks good or bad to us. It can be difficult sometimes in the sewing community when there’s other people’s opinions involved, or when you’re thinking about what other people might think when you’re sharing something online or comments. And we’ve had conversations on the podcast in the past about, like, the word “flattering,” and I still feel pretty similarly. Like, I’m not trying to make clothes that look flattering on me. I don’t really care. Like, what even is flattering? Who am I flattering, you know? But I wanna look good. I wanna feel like I look good, I wanna feel confident, you know, whatever that looks like for me. And whatever that looks like for you. I think we should all decide that for ourselves. But it can be a journey. I don’t really know where I was going with that, but…
Helen: No, it’s fair. ‘Cause I was saying that it sucks when you look in the mirror and you look bad, but I was like, I was mostly picturing myself, like, especially with muslin, I think because the shade of cotton muslin, that, like, creamy white looks so bad on me.
Caroline: Yeah, yeah.
Helen: And then it’s, like, stiff and, like, it can just feel like, this garment is not gonna work. And then you make it in actual fabric and you’re like, oh, it’s actually really cute.
Caroline: Yeah. Muslin is the least flattering fabric that has ever been made.
Helen: Now that’s a good use of the word flattering, Caroline.
Caroline: But actually, that’s kind of an argument for using real fabric for wearable muslins, you know. Like, instead of using muslin, use a printed cotton, you know? Like, something…
Helen: Yeah. Yeah. If you have something like a bedsheet or something…
Caroline: Yeah, maybe a colour that you like, that maybe if you end up wearing the thing, you know, it’ll work out for you. Or even, yeah, I guess bedsheets could work, too.
Helen: Yeah.
Caroline: Yeah.
Helen: Yeah. I think the fitting process is frustrating when it’s not fitting properly and also frustrating just when you feel like patterns aren’t made for you and you have to make so many adjustments to get to the finished product. And I know that’s the experience for a lot of sewists, where it’s just, like, the starting point feels so far from the finish line and there’s so many things you have to do to get from point A to point B. And more than average, maybe you’re looking at sewists in the community and it’s like, oh, everyone’s just whipping up this thing and it’s so easy. But for my body, I have to make all these adjustments. And that can be really frustrating and feel like a low. I’ve definitely seen people out there talking about taking lots of breaks.
Caroline: Yeah.
Helen: Not overanalyzing, you know? Letting yourself sit with things, just doing one fitting session at a time so you don’t get in the kind of a downward spiral feeling.
Caroline: Yeah.
Helen: But yeah, it can be really, really hard.
Caroline: Yeah. And it does get easier with time, though, like, as you fit more garments or, like, learn your body, then you know what adjustments need to be made. Sometimes you can even make them before your first muslin by comparing pattern to pattern, and that can help you to get there quicker. But yeah, it’s tough when trying a new pattern company and maybe the, the fit is like really, really far off from what you were hoping for.
Helen: Yeah, exactly. But if you can persevere, getting a good fit feels incredible.
Caroline: Yes, totally. I feel like making a garment that fits you well is like a way of loving your body.
Helen: Yeah, it’s so true. And it fits like a glove and you made it for you. It’s like a little gift to yourself.
Caroline: Yeah. You’re taking care of yourself.
Helen: Yeah. Yeah. That feels so good. And then having the knowledge and the ability to just, like, duplicate it, too, and you’re like, well now I can make eight pairs of jeans that fit perfectly and I never have to go shopping for jeans again!
Caroline: Yeah. And that’s the power of a TNT, right? You find that tried and true pattern and you just run with it because why make anything else when you have the perfect pair of jeans?
Helen: I fall into that a lot. I really like making patterns over and over again. It’s also just fun to get in the zone with sewing and be able to just bang out a project without having to look too closely at the instructions. I love doing that.
Caroline: Yeah. Okay. Bodies, bodies, bodies.
Helen: That’s the name of a movie.
Caroline: Yeah, it is. Maybe that’s what we should call this episode. No, we have way more to talk about, obviously.
Helen: We did mention guilt at the beginning. And one of the things I feel is consumer guilt. It comes in many forms. ‘Cause I feel guilty when I buy and wear ready-to-wear things that I haven’t made. And I think that’s extra just because I share all my sewing and when I’m going to, like, a social event or something, I think I have to wear something I made. Otherwise people are gonna be like, you’re wearing pants from the Gap? Like, what? You’re such a fraud. I cannot believe that.
Caroline: Obviously that’s what someone would say to your face, Helen.
Helen: Obviously, yeah. No, I know it sounds a little crazy, but I do feel guilt about that. And I feel guilt about buying ready-to-wear sometimes. But also, as a fashion designer, I like going shopping and I like seeing what’s out there and I like trying new styles and that’s kind of a part of my process. So I do let myself purchase ready-to-wear sometimes.
Caroline: Yeah, and there’s some things that I could argue are just so much easier to buy ready-to-wear, you know? Or like, you might choose not to make a thing because it’s like, you’re like, I don’t have time to make myself a tank top, or whatever. You know? I can get that for a decent price in my size, and I don’t have to worry about it.
Helen: Yeah. I think my awareness of the fashion industry has grown so much since I started sewing. I’m so much more aware of fast fashion and I think about the impact that that has on the environment. And I much prefer to shop at thrift stores. Still love to thrift. Thrifting feels like green pastures. Go forth and thrift.
Caroline: Totally.
Helen: I don’t feel guilty about that, but I do feel guilty sometimes about the ready-to-wear. But I do think just having that awareness of it has shifted my shopping habits a lot. Like, I’ve always loved clothes, loved clothes, so I used to shop a lot. And since I started making my own clothes, I shop very little. So that’s a positive change.
Caroline: Yeah. Yeah. And I think going back to your original point of, like, being a sewist, going to a social event, having someone, the first thing they say is, did you make that? And then having to say, no, actually, I didn’t make it. Like, there is a feeling of guilt there. And I think, as much as possible, we need to try to let that go. ‘Cause, you know, I think that friend who’s asking that question isn’t then gonna judge you for not having made the thing. They’re just wanting to encourage you in your sewing practice and celebrate you if you did make the thing, right?
Helen: Yeah, totally.
Caroline: Yeah, Yeah. I realize the irony of being a fabric shop owner talking about buying too much fabric. So I feel like you need to lead this one, Helen.
Helen: Well, yeah, ’cause you’re taking fabric home and you’re not even buying it. So are you free from stash guilt, or do you still have some stash guilt?
Caroline: I have some stash guilt, but I’m never throwing away fabrics from my stash. Like, the fabrics from my stash that I don’t end up using, often I’ll bring them back into the office and they’ll get re-homed, you know? Either I’ll offer them to the team or we’ll sell them as remnants if they haven’t been washed or, you know, like I have this sort of, like, circular sort of situation that I can lean on. So I think that’s a bit of a unique situation. But there are things like fabric swaps or fabric resale, like maker resale sort of little marketplaces and things on Instagram where you could rehome your fabrics. But yeah, I think having a big stash is a very relatable thing. Like, a lot of people feel guilt about having too much fabric. And some people don’t feel guilt about having too much fabric, and that is great.
Helen: Which is fine, too. I mean, of all the things you could collect and, as humans, I think it’s just in our nature, a lot of us, anyway, to collect things. Love to collect stuff, love to amass a bunch of the thing that we love. And for sewists, it’s fabric. I love fabric. I love shopping for it. I love feeling it, handling it, playing with it. I like to play with my stash all the time. I love taking the fabrics out, draping them on my body. Like, actually, I probably do it, like, once every couple of days. Not the whole stash, but I’m always, like, in the mirror, like, pretending I’m making things out of my fabric. That’s a hobby in and of itself.
Caroline: Do you have any guilt around the size of your stash?
Helen: No, but I think that’s in part because I’m a business owner, so in my mind it’s like, it’s all, it’s all gravy.
Caroline: It’s your library.
Helen: Yeah. I feel like once they’re in the studio, I don’t really feel bad. Sometimes I feel bad when I’m, like, shopping for fabrics online and I know I’m buying stuff that I don’t need, or I know I’m, like, overdoing it a little bit. I’m like, I don’t actually need to be getting so many of this type of fabric. I already have a bunch of this in the stash. Like, I don’t necessarily need more. Or I’m not even sure what I’m gonna make with this, it’s just so pretty, I have to have it. I definitely encounter feelings of guilt in those situations. But often, once it’s, like, in my hands, I’m like, Ooh, mine.
Caroline: Yeah, and I feel like you pull a lot from your stash. Like, when you make samples for photo shoots, often I’ll see a fabric that’s, like, from a few seasons ago at Blackbird and I’ll be like, oh, there she is. Like, she found her place.
Helen: I know, I do love trying to pair fabrics with new patterns and stuff and pull stuff from the stash, but I have a lot of things that have been lingering. I’ve been thinking about doing a bit of a destash, actually, because I have quite a few things that have just been sitting for a while now and I’m not sure if they’re ever gonna find their place in my sewing journey. So I know there’s a local place that does, I think it’s called Granny’s Quilting Group Fabric Swap or something like that. And they do a big fabric swap every year. And so I think I’m gonna donate a bunch to them this year ’cause that will feel good. I just need to make some space, too.
Caroline: Yeah. Yeah. I’ve heard many sewists say, like, fabric shopping and collecting fabric is, it’s like its own hobby. It’s, like, kind of separate from sewing. I think that there is a lot of joy that comes from the process of planning projects and dreaming about what you’re gonna make with the fabrics that you have or the fabrics that you may or may not buy. And there’s different ways that you can do that, you know, sketchbooks or different digital products or, you know, platforms that you could use for that. But I do kind of think that that’s great. Like I support this, like, extra hobby of like…
Helen: Of course you do. J’accuse!
Caroline: Yeah, but like, I am guilty of that, too. Like, I love thinking about what I wanna sew and, like, there is almost guilt of, like, all the things that I’ve thought about sewing that haven’t come to fruition. You know, like, it’s not just the coming from the fabrics, it’s, like, the forgotten projects.
Helen: Yeah. Oh, we probably shouldn’t anthropomorphize the forgotten projects.
Caroline: Yeah.
Helen: (small voice) Please, Caroline, make me, please.
Caroline: I know, let’s have some sort of, like, funeral for all the garments that we didn’t make.
Helen: Sometimes they fully leave the potential queue, too. Like you, you might be thinking for years you’re gonna use this fabric to make this thing, and then after a while you’re just like, I actually don’t want that thing anymore.
Caroline: Yeah, and then maybe you have a new fun idea for that fabric.
Helen: Yeah, but also, maybe you feel really bad about that. I do think that, like, there can be a lot of feelings of guilt around those potential projects and this idea that I was gonna make that top and I just, like, never prioritized going in my sewing room. I never had the time. I got super busy. I’m so frustrated, I really wanted to make that gift for my mom and I never did it, or whatever it is. You know, like that can really weigh on people and make them feel like they’re, like, not allowed to sew, ’cause they never did the thing they said they were gonna do. So they, like, don’t have permission anymore to do a different thing. Yeah. That can be really hard.
Caroline: How do you keep your project queue organized? I’m curious.
Helen: I don’t.
Caroline: You just go where the wind takes you?
Helen: I do. Yeah, I don’t have, I, I’m trying to think. I mean, I have a lot of lists. I have lists everywhere in every digital place where it’s possible to make lists. I have lists of things and in my notebook, sometimes in the morning I’ll have my coffee and I’ll write down a list of things I wanna sew for summer, and I’ll write them all down. But I don’t hold myself to that. It’s more just like fun to think, you know, fun to brainstorm. Yeah.
Caroline: An idea dump. Yeah.
Helen: Exactly. And when I do have a moment to just sew something for my personal sewing practice, I just kind of pick the thing that I’m most excited about.
Caroline: Yeah.
Helen: Which I think is a good strategy. Like I was saying, if you’re feeling, like, guilty that you’re like not allowed to make something ’cause you didn’t make that thing you said you were gonna make, just no.
Caroline: Yeah. Just no.
Helen: Just no. Make the thing you’re excited to make. Just go in your sewing space or set up your sewing machine and just start a project you’re excited about, even if you haven’t finished your last project. It’s about enjoying sewing.
Caroline: Yeah. Don’t feel guilty about not finishing a project. That’s a whole other thing.
Helen: I know, it’s true. And that can really prevent you from continuing. And like, project paralysis is so real. I have that when I have a lot of different projects on the go and I’m just like, which one should I do? And it’s easier said than done sometimes to just, like, get right to it and make something. I do a lot of forcing myself, which is maybe not a strategy that will work for most people, but it works for me.
Caroline: Yeah. You just muscle your way into the sewing room and…
Helen: I do.
Caroline: Yeah. Oh, this kind of sounds like a great horror movie concept where there’s, like, some invisible monster that’s, like, forcing you to sew.
Helen: You’ve been watching too many horror movies. Just in time for Halloween…
Caroline: Yeah, I do feel project paralysis, for sure. Or, like, procrastinating. Actually, doing a project, like, I’ll sometimes go into my sewing room and, instead of starting a project, I’ll be like, no, I’m gonna clean instead. I’m gonna clean this. I’m gonna reorganize my whole closet, refold my whole stash. You know?
Helen: Tidying and organizing is a lot of people’s procrastination step and it’s good in a sewing space. There’s often lots of things to tidy and organize and it’s usually quite welcome. Yeah. Sometimes I’ll do little things, like I’m just gonna do my future self a favour and I’m gonna set up the sewing machine and the serger for the project. I’m gonna thread, I’m gonna, like, load the bobbin, thread the machine, put the right serger thread in, put the pins in the right place. I’m gonna, like, kind of just organize everything so that it’s ready for me when I am ready to sew. And that’s often immediately after I do the organizing.
Caroline: Yeah. It’s like you’re tricking yourself.
Helen: Yeah. A little bit.
Caroline: Yeah. Oh my gosh. Yeah. And I think, again, like, thinking about getting stuck on a project or, like, forcing, feeling like you’re forcing yourself to sew something that you actually don’t want to sew. I try to look at it as like books, where it’s like, if I’m not into a book, I’ve gotten pretty good at just ditching it and starting a different book. You know? Like, it’s not worth it. ‘Cause years past, like, I’ve been reading the same book for six months and I tell myself I am not allowed to read another book until I finish this book. But then I just never read, you know?
Helen: Yeah, I’ve fallen into that trap, for sure. I was just thinking about another thing that I feel guilt about, which isn’t on this list, but I have such a hard time getting rid of handmade clothes. I have storage bins full of clothes that I made that don’t fit anymore, and they should go to the thrift store or the consignment store and get a new life and be loved and appreciated. And instead they’re in a dank bin and it’s so sad. But I just, like, cannot let them go. I’m so bad at that.
Caroline: Okay. Let’s, let’s dive a little deeper. What is holding you back? Like, what is making you feel so attached to these, these things?
Helen: I wish I had an answer.
Caroline: Yeah.
Helen: I’m really trying to think. In my mind, I think I can save them. In my mind, these are, like, refashioning bins and I’m gonna take these pieces and I’m gonna add more fabric to the sides, or I’m gonna turn this dress into a skirt or whatever, and I’m gonna, like, fix it.
Caroline: Mm-hmm.
Helen: So maybe I just wanna, like, fix everything.
Caroline: Yeah.
Helen: Maybe I need a real therapist.
Caroline: I’m just like, mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah.
Helen: Yeah. I also have a really hard time getting rid of plants in my garden that are, like, not doing well or like…
Caroline: Oh yeah.
Helen: You know, I always wanna rescue every single plant in my garden. Yeah. I think those things might be related.
Caroline: It’s so interesting. Yeah. ‘Cause I think we feel this attachment to clothes that we made ’cause they’re like a moment in time and sometimes, like, the fabric is really special to us or you remember a time when this garment fit you and you loved it and you don’t wanna let that go. But you have a lot of clothes and you’re always making new things.
Helen: I know and, and like, you’re describing this beautiful relationship with this garment. Most of them, that’s not the case. It’s, like, something I didn’t even like that much, that I hardly ever wore.
Caroline: Well, girl. You gotta let it go, then.
Helen: I know. Let it go. Let it go. I know, it’s, I struggle. It’s one of my biggest things with…the closet is a mess and I can’t, I can’t let go of anything.
Caroline: Yeah.
Helen: Yeah, you’re good at that. You’re always clearing out your closet and just, like, making room for new things.
Caroline: I’m pretty good at that. Yeah. Yeah. And it’s very out of sight, out of mind for me. I’m like, once it’s gone, it’s so rare that I think about it again.
Helen: And, honestly, same. I don’t think I would, I don’t even know what’s in the bins, but every time I open them, I’m like, oh, this is cute.
Caroline: Yeah.
Helen: I could, I could fix this.
Caroline: What if you didn’t open them? What if you just took the bins to the consignment store and said, don’t make me look.
Helen: Okay, so the next feeling we’re talking about is…
Caroline: Okay, we’re moving on. Moving on.
Helen: No, that’s a strategy. I’m sure there are people out there who can relate to both of us. People who love to get rid of things and people who hate to get rid of things. I also save a lot of fabric scraps. Huge fabric scrap hoarder over here.
Caroline: Yeah. You have a lot of space, too, I feel like. Like you have a big sewing space. You have a big closet.
Helen: Yeah, there’s space to keep it, which does make it easier to keep, for sure. Yeah. And I do have all these plans for my sewing scraps, as well, that I’m gonna like, I’m gonna help them live their best little sewing scrap life.
Caroline: Are there any therapists listening? Can we get some advice for Helen over here? I’m unqualified.
Helen: I was watching a reel where this woman was like, does anyone else feel bad when they, like, don’t use all of their plates and like the plate on the bottom of the plate stack never gets to get eaten off of and, like, you feel bad for that plate? And I’m like, yeah, that’s me.
Caroline: I do not relate to that. Wow. I have my favourite plates that I always use, and the other ones can die.
Helen: See? Whereas I am like, they’re all beautiful and they should all get equal opportunity to have dinner on them. Or like, I’m always picking a different mug for my coffee ’cause I’m like, they all should have the chance to be used.
Caroline: Well, you do have a really great mug collection, so yeah.
Helen: Yeah, maybe the mugs are more of a better, a better example than the plates.
Caroline: But when all the mugs and plates are beautiful…
Helen: This is just a little glimpse into my psyche here, anyways. We don’t have a solution for getting rid of things. Other than: it’s okay to get rid of your sewing even though you worked hard on it, even though you spent money on it.
Caroline: Yeah.
Helen: I’m gonna practice what I preach. I’m gonna try,
Caroline: Yeah.
Helen: I’m gonna try harder.
Caroline: Well, also give yourself permission to just, like, let yourself keep a box of the things, you know?
Helen:Yeah. It’s not hurting anybody.
Caroline: It’s not hurting anybody.
Helen: Yeah, maybe what I need to do is let go of the guilt.
Caroline: Yeah. Yeah. You’re allowed to keep it. Exactly. Like I, that’s the thing is, like, we are talking so much about guilt today and, like, obviously I’m working through this in therapy, so, and I am not a therapist, but, like, there are so many things that we make ourselves feel guilty for and, like, what if we just let some of that go, you know?
Helen: Yeah. The guilt doesn’t actually need to be so strong in those situations. Truly, they are just bins in the closet. I don’t need that closet space. I don’t need those bins.
Caroline: Yeah. Put a quilt on ‘em and…
Helen: I, the other, like, month, we hung curtains up so we couldn’t see the bins anymore. So now it’s, like, truly, totally fine.
Caroline: Out of sight. Love it. Perfect. Those curtains, they’re doing the heavy lifting.
Helen: Yeah. Okay. What about feeling frustrated when you don’t get something or the instructions are confusing and you think, I should understand this, but I don’t. What’s wrong with me?
Caroline: Yeah. I’ve certainly been there, usually in more advanced projects. Or like when you’re trying a new technique to do something that you’ve already done, but it’s like a different way. Like, I’m thinking about a time when I had to do welt pockets on a coat, but the process for the welt pocket construction was completely different than what I’d done in the past. And I was like, I’m just gonna go for it and follow this designer’s instructions. And then I was, like, so confused and so upset the whole time. I was like, I should have done it my way. You know?
Helen: Yeah. I’ve definitely experienced that, too.
Caroline: Yeah. It’s frustrating and, I’m sure, beginners out there who are, everything is new, everything is unknown, you know? That can be really hard and really frustrating and really difficult to persevere and, like, push through that challenge of feeling like a beginner.
Helen: Learning new things is hard and being a beginner at things is an uncomfortable feeling a lot of the time. And, like, logically, we know that we don’t know everything, and that’s okay, but it can feel like there’s a lot of implied knowledge in sewing patterns, especially if you’re using older sewing patterns. There’s just sort of this assumption that you know a lot of things that you don’t and that can really, like, bog you down sometimes and start to make you feel kind of dumb where you’re like, what? Am I supposed to understand how to do that? No, absolutely not. It’s a hundred percent okay to just google stuff. Sewing patterns never have all the information in them that you’re gonna need and sometimes you just need to see somebody do it or you just need to have it explained a different way or you’re just missing the translation of one word and then it will all make more sense. So yeah, I do think, like, learning and practicing perseverance and just, like, pushing through…
Caroline: Yeah. It’s rewarding, right?
Helen: Yeah. And it’s a huge part of the sewing experience and learning anything, really. Not just sewing. But it is really rewarding and it’s good practice for life, too.
Caroline: Yeah. It, exactly, it’s, like, humbling, but great experience to have failures in your sewing practice and have challenges in your sewing practice. I would encourage, listener, if you’re ever in a situation where you’re feeling really frustrated and confused, ask yourself, how long have I been in this sewing room? Have I taken a break? Do I need to go to bed? You know, because often in those moments, if you just take a step back, you just take a breather, you watch a video, you do some self care, you come back the next day with fresh eyes, you might have a bit of a new take and you’ll be able to push through.
Helen: You can really get into, like, a negative mindset or just kind of a, a bit of a spiral sometimes in the sewing room. And that can go for, like, looking at finished projects, too. Sometimes you finish something and it’s been a bit of a battle and a struggle and you’re kind of, like, over it and you look in the mirror and you hate it and you’re like, this was such a waste of time. It didn’t work out. Oh, I’m so over it. Again, take a step back, take a day, try it on tomorrow. Different light. I mean, you might just find out that it’s super cute.
Caroline: Yeah, it’s so true. There have been times when I’ve finished a project, hated it. Came back in a couple days and loved it.
Helen: Yeah.
Caroline: Yeah.
Helen: Right? Different styling, different lighting. Totally different outlook. Yeah.
Caroline: Oh yeah. It’s…the styling. Oh my gosh. You just made me think of, like, often when I finish a sewing project, I am haggard, you know? Like, bags under the eyes, hair greasy, I’m wearing pajamas, you know, like…
Helen: Mm-hmm. No bra on.
Caroline: Oh my gosh. No bra. Like, I’m not my cutest self. And then I put it on and I’m like, ew, like I don’t like how this looks on me. But come back to it when you’re feeling cute again and…
Helen: Yeah, exactly. Put it aside. Yeah. And I do have a, like, no hard things at night policy. I don’t do, like, zippers and buttonholes after 10:00 PM. No. No.
Caroline: Yeah. I sometimes break that rule, but it is a good rule, for sure.
Helen: It just never goes well. Yeah. But failure is a big part of sewing. You’re gonna have failed steps. When I sew with my friends in person, family members, they’re often surprised when I make mistakes in my projects. And they’re like, oh, it’s so good to know that even YOU make sewing…. Yeah, I make sewing mistakes every time I sew a project, every time. I’m always sewing things together with the wrong sides together, or like backwards, or I’m ripping holes in stuff with my seam ripper. I’m, like, messing stuff up constantly.
Caroline: Yeah. Same.
Helen: Yeah. And I’m just used to it. And you fix it and, like, yeah, I get annoyed, but I’m also just accustomed to it. This is part of the sewing process.
Caroline: Yeah, a hundred percent. I don’t think I’ve ever had a project where I haven’t needed a seam ripper. It’s just part of, part of life, part of sewing life.
Helen: Number one tool.
Caroline: You gotta get comfortable with it.
Helen: Okay, Caroline, I think we should end on a high note and talk about some of the best feelings in sewing, like the rush you feel when you achieve a perfect finish on something.
Caroline: Oh my gosh. I think, for me, topstitching, like a perfectly topstitched, like, patch pocket or like a jeans fly where you get the curve perfect. Or like a really, really beautiful set of buttonholes where, like, not one of them messed up.
Helen: Even just like a bar tack that, like, you perfectly placed and it, like none of the stitches went out of where you wanted them. Like they all just go perfect.
Caroline: Yeah.
Helen: Mm.
Caroline: Or like a really good hem. Even gathers, like when you get some good, well placed, even gathers, you know?
Helen: Even gathers can be satisfying. No, it’s so true, when you gather them up and they all just kind of, like, fold really perfectly like a little accordion and, like, oh, I love that feeling.
Caroline: Yeah, I know. It is, it’s definitely a rush and I don’t know, it’s like, it, it makes me feel like, oh, I’m, I’m actually good at this. Like, I’m, you know, like, oh, I, this is why I do this. Like, this is really fun and I can make something look incredible. Like, it’s such a rush.
Helen: Yeah. It is such a rush. Every once in a while, too, like, I mean, I try stuff on mid-project a lot. I’m one of those people that’s like, after every step I’m in the mirror, like, holding it up like, oh, cute. And like, sometimes it just looks so good. Like, you just realize, that moment when you realize that it’s gonna be so cute and, like, that it’s going so well and it’s everything you envisioned and it’s looking so amazing. It just feels so good. You’re like, ah, yes, okay. This is gonna be awesome.
Caroline: Yeah, a hundred percent. I don’t think I try things on as much as you do or, like, hold things up to my body as much as you do. But when I finish a project and I get to put it on and, like, there’s that moment where you’re like, oh yeah.
Helen: Yeah!
Caroline: Oh yeah! Like, this is it. This is what I wanted. And like, often that is followed by me, like, running out to Shea and being like, look what I just finished! You know? And you get to show it off and, like, celebrate it with someone. Or even when we’re doing our, like, sewing sessions over FaceTime and we finish something and we get to all, like, ooh and ahh over each other’s finished garments. Like, there’s something about that. It’s really special.
Helen: It is really special. It’s so fun. It is like another kind of euphoric feeling and it’s really fun to, like, wear it out for the first time, too, or to receive a compliment on it. When you make something, wear it out for the first time, and within, like, whatever, 30 minutes of being out in public, someone says, cute shirt. Oh my gosh. Is there a better feeling?
Caroline: Honestly, no. I had an experience recently, ’cause we take Sally to daycare a few times a week, dog daycare. And the gals that work there are so nice and they love Sally so much but, like, I don’t really get to know them. Very often we don’t small talk; it’s usually just, like, a drop off and pick up. And I recently dropped off Sally and one of the girls was like, you have really great style. Like I, you are always coming in really cool outfits. And I was like, oh, I made, I make most of my clothes. Like I, I’ve been trying really hard to, like, tell people that I sew. Yeah, to answer with, I made it. And it’s such a point of connection. ‘Cause often you’ll get like, oh my gosh, I wanna learn how to sew. Or like, oh, you’re, so, you get that validation. But also you can have a fun conversation with someone where you’re like, oh, well, you should check out this pattern company, I think you’d love them. Or, I sell fabric, or, I have this podcast that you can listen to that’s gonna help you. You know?
Helen: I love that. You could be changing someone’s life.
Caroline: I know, I know. And it’s so fun. And also, anytime someone tells you you look good is, like, such a confidence boost. Right? But when it’s because you sewed the thing or, like, you’re wearing something that you sewed, it’s like an extra level of fun and celebration and excitement, for me, at least.
Helen: Yeah, because it’s like, not only are they complimenting how you look or how the garment or whatever looks. They’re complimenting, like, your creative decision making and your design choices and your hard work. Like, there’s so many layers to that compliment that they don’t even realize. I try to compliment people on their outfits because I love how it feels when people do it to me.
Caroline: Yeah. Me too.
Helen: So when I’m like, out at like, you know, a craft fair or something…it’s obviously situational. Sometimes it can be inappropriate to comment on people’s looks. So I try to only do it when it feels appropriate, but like, it’s so nice to just give people compliments and say, wow, you’re, I love this shirt. It looks so good on you.
Caroline: Yeah. And when you’re with sewists, I feel like it’s, like, it’s always appropriate, right? If you’re a sew… like at in-person shopping at Blackbird, like it’s just constant. People are like, oh my God, what pattern is that? Oh my God, this looks amazing. Oh, the fabric looks so good. Oh my God, you wear the thing. And like, everyone comes in in their handmade clothes and, like, it’s just this, like, everyone has permission to compliment…
Helen: It’s a free-for-all.
Caroline: Each other on what they’re wearing, and we’re all gassing each other up and it’s so fun.
Helen: It’s such a fun event to wear something you’ve made to, as well, like, in-person sewing events like that. Oh, it’s so fun to choose what you’re gonna wear and show off.
Caroline: Yeah, yeah. And just, like, being a part of the sewing community and whether that’s, you know, purely on social media, online through blogs, or whether that’s in-person events, like, it’s just so special to have this, like, niche community that you can relate to that you feel like you belong to. Like, I feel really lucky that the sewing community exists and that we get to all hang out and gush about sewing.
Helen: I know, I know. I love the sewing community so much and it really is amazing to, like, discover that somebody you meet is also a sewist and it’s like you have this instant connection and you can be insta-friends and have something to talk about. I always love when that happens randomly. I’m like, oh, you sew? Oh my gosh.Thank goodness. We have so much to talk about.
Caroline: Yeah, yeah. Oh, it is. It’s so great. We’re so lucky.
Helen: Yeah, and also the sense of community is not just, like, in real time. Like, I also love the fact that sewing extends back generations and is gonna continue for generations. It feels like this connection over time, as well, that we have with, like, our own family members who maybe taught us to sew or they sewed or just people in the past in general be sewing.
Caroline: Yeah.
Helen: It just, like, makes me feel connected to the broader community over time and to women, especially. I really like that feeling of connection and participating in this hobby together and, like, just gassing each other up.
Caroline: Yeah. Totally. I hope that someday one of my nieces or my nephew will show interest in sewing so that I can be the person that teaches them and encourages them and shows them, you know, what you can do with this hobby. And yeah. I think it’s such a fun thing that we get to pass that on, as well.
Helen: Yeah. Oh my gosh, totally.
Caroline: Yeah.
Helen: Okay. Well that was nice and warm and fuzzy.
Caroline: It was. We probably have to wrap up this therapy session, but that’s all the time we have for today.
Helen: I do, I really did enjoy talking about sewing feelings, though. Maybe we’ll do a part two. We’d love to hear our listeners’ perspectives on these topics. Or if there’s sewing feelings that you’re like, I can’t believe they didn’t cover this.
Caroline: Yeah, we didn’t cover it all.
Helen: We’d love to hear about that.
Caroline: Yeah.
Helen: So comment on our posts on social media this week, or email us, or however you wanna get in touch.
Caroline: Yeah.
Helen: We wanna hear you and validate you and your feelings.
Caroline: We really do. Thanks so much for listening, y’all. That’s it for today’s episode of Love to Sew. You can find me, Caroline, at Blackbird Fabrics and BF Patterns, and Helen at Helen’s Closet Patterns and Cedar Quilt Co. We’re recording in beautiful British Columbia, Canada.
Helen: You can support Love to Sew and get access to bonus content by subscribing on Patreon or Apple Podcasts. You even get access to the back catalog of bonus episodes and that’s over a hundred hours of Love to Sew. Go to patreon.com/lovetosew or check out our podcast page on Apple Podcasts for more info.
Caroline: You can head to lovetosewpodcast.com to find our show notes. They’re filled with links and pictures from this episode. If you’d like to get in touch with us, leave us a message at 1-844-SEW-WHAT. That’s 1-844-739-9428. Or send us an email at hello@lovetosewpodcast.com.
Helen: Thanks to our amazing podcast team. Lisa Ruiz is our creative assistant and Jordan Moore of The Pod Cabin is our editor. And thank you for listening. We will talk to you next week.
Caroline: Bye-bye.
Helen: Bye.
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