We interview Maddie Ballard, author of Patchwork: A Sewist’s Diary! We chat with her about learning to sew during the pandemic, connecting to her roots through her projects, and transforming painful moments into beautiful work.
The transcript for this episode is on this page at the end of the show notes.
Show Notes:
Find Maddie Online:
- Instagram: @maddieballard27
- Substack: Field Notes on Feeling
Maddie’s Book:
- Patchwork: A Sewist’s Diary by Maddie Ballard (US Edition)
- Bound: A Memoir of Making and Remaking (UK Edition)
Other Mentions:
View this post on Instagram
- Caroline’s Pepper Stuffy (A Gift for Her Niece)
Transcript:
Helen: We are recording today on the traditional, ancestral, and unceded territories of the Coast Salish and Kwakwaka’wakw peoples, including Tsleil-Waututh, Squamish, Musqueam, and K’ómoks first nations.
Caroline: Hello and welcome to Love To Sew. I’m Caroline, the owner of Blackbird Fabrics and BF Patterns.
Helen: And I’m Helen, the designer behind Helen’s Closet Patterns and Cedar Quilt Co.
Caroline: We’re two sewing buds who love to sew and it’s essentially all we want to talk about.
Helen: We’re interviewing Maddie Ballard, author of Patchwork: A Sewist’s Diary. We chat with her about learning to sew during the pandemic, connecting to her roots through her projects, and transforming painful moments into beautiful work.
Caroline: If you love to sew, this is your show. Hello, Maddie. Thank you so much for coming on the show today.
Maddie: Thank you so much for having me. I’m so excited to be here.
Helen: We can’t wait to chat with you. Can you please introduce yourself to our listeners?
Maddie: I sure can. So my name is Maddie Ballard and I’m a sewist and writer of mixed Chinese heritage from Aotearoa, New Zealand, and I currently live in Melbourne, Australia.
Caroline: Amazing. And we are so excited to talk to you about your book today. But let’s just start off with a little bit about your sewing journey. Can you tell us how and when you learned to sew?
Maddie: I sure can. So I think, like many sewists, I learned to sew during the pandemic. So my partner at the time and I had just moved back to New Zealand from London and we were living with his parents in this very small town called New Plymouth. I didn’t really know anyone in New Plymouth. I didn’t have a job. He was working part-time. And so I was sort of at a loose end and, I guess, like lots of people during the pandemic, I was feeling, I guess, just, like, quite anxious and a bit stuck and looking for something to do. And his mother happened to have this really old sewing machine that she had, I think, inherited from her mother. And she sort of said, “Why don’t you have a go?” And so I had a go and I loved it. I feel like, yeah, the first time I ever used that sewing machine, which was this really clunky, kind of temperamental model, I just had a great time and I, I think the first thing I did was I hemmed a top and I was like, wow, that feels like a superpower. So I kept going with it.
Helen: Amazing. Thank goodness for all the people out there handing sewing machines off to other folks and being like, “Why don’t you have a go? Just try it. Maybe you’ll love it.” I know we have a lot of listeners who also learned to sew during the pandemic, and we were wondering what you think sewing offered people during that time.
Maddie: Oh my gosh. I mean, I think a lot of it is just that it was something to do, right? Like, I feel like a lot of people were kind of at a loose end and sewing is, as I think we all know, a great time suck. I feel like learning any, any new skill, you need time at the beginning to kind of build your skillset up. And so it just happened to be quite a convenient time to do that, I think. But I guess there was also this element that, for me, certainly, it felt like sewing kind of provided this illusion of control, maybe. It felt like we were, the, the whole world was kind of in the midst of lots of chaos and it feels like you don’t have a lot of control during that situation, but you can sort of tell yourself, oh, like, if I sew this seam, eventually I will have this garment. And I think that was kind of a really reassuring big picture thing that was going on with sewing.
Caroline: Yeah, that really makes a lot of sense. I think a lot of our listeners are gonna relate to that. And your book kind of starts out during the pandemic, so let’s talk about it. We absolutely loved your book. It’s called Patchwork: A Sewist’s Diary in the most recent US release and Bound: A Memoir of Making and Remaking in the UK release. And it’s about your sewing journey and all of the life stuff that kind of weaves in and out of it. We thought maybe before we get into asking you questions about the book, we were wondering if you would read an excerpt so that our listeners can sort of get a feel for the writing. It’s just so beautiful.
Maddie: Thank you. I, I’d love to read a short excerpt. That would be lovely.
Caroline: Amazing. We can’t wait to hear what you picked.
Maddie: Okay. “I lower the needle and the world recedes. The process of sewing a garment—printing the pattern, tracing and cutting, sewing the first and the second and the fiftieth seam—is a lesson in taking your time. There is a language of touch to be learned, too—the crunkle of freshly washed denim in the hand; the unexpected weight of silk velvet. I spend a whole afternoon wondering if the words tactile and textile might be related. They’re not, but text and textile are: both works of weaving. I learn, over the course of many sewing sessions, that French seams are my favourite way to finish fabric and that my legs are shorter than I think. I learn to sew buttonholes and flip out a shirt using something called the ‘burrito method’. I acquire more discrete, tangible skills than in several years. I stop buying clothes.”
Helen: Amazing.
Caroline: That was one of our favourites, for sure. It’s so beautiful.
Maddie: Thank you.
Helen: Yeah, your book has such a personal quality to it because it is written like a journal. Before we get into asking you questions about it, is there anything else you wanna add about describing this book to our listeners so they understand kind of what it is and where it came from?
Maddie: Oh my gosh. I always feel like I should have more of a pitch for this. I guess, like, Patchwork is a sewist’s diary. Um, so it’s sort of the story of making 17 different garments, right from when I very first started sewing until kind of like two or three years later. But it is also the story, I guess, of like moving home and going through a major breakup and, I guess, like the way that a textile craft accompanied me along all of that learning. I like to think of it also as being a kind of a record of this particular period in my life. And I think that that’s the way clothes that you’ve sewed yourself do function for a lot of sewists. I think that you wear something that you made during a particular period and you remember all the details of that period and what it felt like and what your taste was like at that stage. So I wanted to record something about that.
Caroline: Oh, it’s so true. And it’s really interesting how every chapter in the book also is sort of a record of the garment. So you list the pattern, the fabric, and the notions that you used. Is there a reason why you decided to kind of start each chapter with this structure?
Maddie: I guess, like, initially, it was just a nod to the way that I think sewists talk about their projects with each other. So I feel like when you are discussing with your friends something that you’ve made, you’ll always say what pattern you used and then, you know, what fabric you chose and whether there was anything kind of a bit funky about it. I, like, I just felt like I wanted to kind of nod to that shorthand that sewists have with each other. But I guess it’s also like I, or maybe I’m reading into this…I think, I think it was also an attempt to kind of take making seriously. Like, I wanted it also to feel like, you know, when you go to an art gallery or something and there’ll be a painting and it will list the materials it was made with. I’m not saying by any means that sewing is the same as, you know, making a beautiful painting. I mean, I think there are sort of elements of creativity in common, but they are obviously quite different. But I like the way that the listing of materials makes it into this, like, serious project that intention has gone into. And yeah, I wanted to, I wanted to make the reader think about that, I guess.
Caroline: Yeah. I love this slightly more technical start to each chapter and it feels like, almost, you’re speaking directly to the sewist because we’ll really understand when you’re describing that fabric and the pattern. And it does sort of remind me of, you know, like on social media, how when people share about a pattern, often at the end they’ll sort of list what they used to make it. So it makes a lot of sense and I think it really works for the structure. We really enjoyed that part. Sewing is also such a tactile and physical process and experience, and we know from making the podcast that it’s not always easy to put sewing into words. So how did you approach writing about sewing so that it would be understandable to non-sewists as well, but also feel true to your experience?
Maddie: Oh, I love that question. I guess, like, when I started sewing, I was so enchanted by all the different sewing terms I learned. Like, there was this whole different vocabulary that I’d never heard of or come across. And I guess, I mean, I, I think it’s like that in every niche hobby, interest area. But I loved learning it and so I basically wanted the book to kind of, like. introduce that vocabulary at the times that I came across it. So, I think, like, early, early chapters, I’ve tried to make it so that there’s not an overwhelming amount of technical language. But there are some terms that I came across quite early. And then by the time you get to the end of the book, you’ve kind of acquired, over the course of several chapters, lots of these sewing terms and you know what they mean. So yeah, I wanted it to kind of mirror that process and I wanted, like, a person who doesn’t know anything about sewing to come into the first chapter and be like, “Yeah, I can follow this. It has something to offer me.” And then by the end, feel like hopefully they have acquired some of that diction. I guess also, like on a practical level, I tried to give some context for each term so that a non-sewist could understand. I think when I was starting out sewing, you might read like, you know, like one of the big four sewing pattern companies, their instructions can be a little bit, um, impenetrable if you don’t already know the terms. So I wanted to kind of do the opposite of that and make sure that someone coming in would have, yeah, a bit of context for what something meant if they’d not seen it before.
Helen: That makes a lot of sense. I think you definitely achieved that with the writing and I loved, like you said, how people could come to the book not knowing how to sew and acquire sewing knowledge through just reading it. And, I think, also acquire a ton of inspiration and probably finish your book wanting more than ever to sew and hopefully take up sewing. So I loved that about it. We were wondering, just for fun, if you had some favourite and least favourite sewing words that you’ve encountered over your journey.
Maddie: Oh, I love this question, too. I guess, like, I’m really fond of the word “notions,” just as a, like, catch-all term for those sewing bits and bobs. I just think it’s such a fun word. If you think about what a notion is in ordinary English, like, being an idea, I just think that’s quite a poetic way of kind of encompassing all those things. And it’s kind of fun to say. I guess that’s also really fun. I do also really like the terms, like lots of the verbs for gathering fabrics. Like I feel like “shirring: is a really fun word, or like “smocking.” But I think they all have great kind of, like, texture and they’re just really tactile words, I guess. In terms of least favourite, I don’t know if I could think of a least favourite. I feel like there are some, like, I feel like the word, the French word “toile.” I feel like that’s a word that I’ve kind of come across a lot of people tripping up how to say it, like, if they’ve only seen it written down. I think it’s the kind of word that I, you know, I think it probably sort of nods towards this French history of couture and that’s kind of interesting in itself. But I do think a word like that can make sewing feel a little bit, I don’t know, like a bit exclusive or inaccessible. Um, and I’m not so fond of that.
Helen: It’s hoity-toity.
Maddie: It is a bit, yeah.
Helen: That’s so funny. I never really thought about that. But I’m not a super big fan of “toile.” I usually say “muslin” instead, but it’s partly ’cause I feel like “toile” feels weird in my mouth. It makes my tongue do weird things. I can’t explain it.
Caroline: Those crossover words are funny, too, like “burrito” or, you know, if you’re talking to someone who…
Maddie: Oh, isn’t that great?
Caroline: Doesn’t sew, they’re like, “What are you doing to your shirt? A burrito?” Another thing we wanted to talk about is just the sewing machines in Patchwork, because they sort of feel like characters, and we were wondering if you feel like they have personalities and whether you name your machines. I know a lot of sewists like to name their machines.
Maddie: I’ve never named one of my sewing machines, but I do definitely think they have personalities, for sure. The machine that I learned on was this, like, crotchety, temperamental beast from like, you know, like 50 years before I was born. And like, it didn’t have a reverse stitch function. So you had to, like, physically pick the project up, like, turn it round 180 degrees, and then back stitch, you know, three stitches, and then pick it up again and turn the whole thing around again. So it had its quirks. I think, yeah, the one I have now is my grandma’s old machine, and I think we have a good thing going on. I feel like I’ve been using it for long enough now that I feel like, I’m sure you would both relate to this, too; there’s like a feeling that if it makes a slightly different sound, I know immediately that the sound is different and that something’s not quite right. Yeah, I love that kind of, like, intimate knowledge that you, you get over a long period of using the same machine. But yeah, I definitely think they have personalities. But I’ve not thought of naming them. I do have a friend called Gabby, shout out Gabby, who has, like, bedazzled her machine with, like, hundreds of sparkly silver stickers and, like, I think she might have, like, fake rhinestones or something on there as well, but it’s just this, like, beacon of gloriousness. Like, you go to her house and you go into the craft room and it’s like this shining thing. and I’ve always thought that’s a really fun and delightful thing. She’s like, “Oh, you know, just one day I thought it looked a bit boring, so I sort of bedazzled it.” But I feel like I’ve not done that, but I kind of like that as an idea.
Caroline: Me too. Why aren’t we all doing that?
Helen: A lot of folks put their cute sewing stickers on their machine, which is really nice. I’m, like, too chicken to put a sticker on my machine. I wanna keep it pristine.
Caroline: You also talk about your cousin Lisa in your book, and we just love those parts. Helen and I love to sew together. We love sewing with other people. So I wonder, from your perspective, why is sewing with a friend so much more fun than just hanging out?
Maddie: I mean, I think on a practical level, I’m a really indecisive sewist, so I think it’s quite useful to have, like, another person whose opinion you can bounce off or, like, just someone to kind of, like, break the sewing decision inertia to just be like, “Yeah, you should just make this pattern.” Or like, “I’m making this pattern. Why don’t we both make it and see how the visions are different?” I like it on that level. I think also, like, it’s just fun to both be doing an activity that you enjoy together. Like, I think, often, I don’t what it’s like for either of you, but I feel like, for me, a lot of my spending time with friends or, like, hanging out, and I love this, don’t get me wrong, but a lot of it can just be like, let’s go and get lunch. And then like, you catch up for a couple hours and you have a great time, but you kind of go at the end of it and you’re like, oh, you know, like we could have had this conversation over any activity. And I think it’s kind of nice for sewing to be in the mix if it’s something that you both like. I think, also, maybe sewing alongside others has made me surer of my own taste. Like I think, particularly with Lisa, we have quite different styles and I often will be making something that she thinks is, like, unforgivably feminine and she’ll be making something that I think is, like, kind of horribly ugly, but it kind of works for us both. I think that’s a really fun kind of dynamic to bounce off and to kind of, yeah, like to reassert, like, what you like and what kind of clothing you wanna make for whatever sort of person you are at that moment. Or if you’re making a gift, like, does the other person think that this would also suit them, or…I think there’s something nice about that.
Caroline: Yeah.
Helen: Yeah. I loved that moment in the book where you mentioned having different styles and getting the opportunity to see other people’s styles come to life through their sewing. And I also think it’s really fun to see other people use all of the fabrics and trims and stuff that you might never choose, but you’re intrigued by, nonetheless. You know? Like, I’d love to see somebody sew something with this, but it’s not gonna be me. It couldn’t be me. But, like, to watch someone else do it is so satisfying and I enjoy that, sewing with my friends, as well.
Maddie: Yeah. Do you feel like you both have quite different sewing styles?
Caroline: Not super different, but yeah, I think we do. We have different colour choices and pattern choices.
Helen: I would say probably sometimes very similar, also. So not like polar opposites by any means, but yeah. But we do differ. I take a few more risks, I think, style-wise, just, like, with my bold colours and prints. But we do tend to gravitate towards similar silhouettes, so sometimes we are making the same things.
Caroline: Yeah. One of the things I loved, Maddie, that you talked about was just how you and Lisa were holding each other to a higher standard when you were sewing together. Like when she told you, like, “You absolutely can’t skip the pockets,” and you told her to take the time to sew the French seams. And I really related to that ’cause I feel like when I sew with other people I’m often sort of bouncing off of them, of like, “Maybe I’ll skip this part.” And they’ll be like, “No, no, don’t do that.” So I wonder, like, what has sewing together taught you about yourself as a maker?
Maddie: Oh, it’s definitely taught me that I’m lazy. I think I, I think like, I mean, I think Lisa’s also possibly lazy to the same degree, and so we kind of correct each other in that regard. Yeah, I know some sewists who are so meticulous, like, they press the fabric every time before they sew it, even if it’s something that I think can be kind of flattened by hand. Whereas, like, I’m definitely a shortcuts person and then like I’m kind of annoyed with myself at the end when I’ve made something that’s less good than it could have been. But I definitely still do it. Like it’s a real, yeah, I don’t know. You just get in your own way, I think.
Caroline: Yeah.
Helen: Yeah. I take all those shortcuts, too. Like, if it’s flat enough to cut out, I’m just cutting it. I’m not ironing that fabric. One of my friends that I sew with regularly is a real meticulous sewist. Like everything must be super precise. Everything has to be perfect. Topstitching, perfect. And it’s great because her stuff always looks impeccable, but we get in, like, fights about it when we sew together. ‘Cause she’ll be like, “I’m gonna unpick this.” And I’ll be like, “No, don’t unpick that. It looks great. It’s totally fine. It looks fantastic.” She’ll be like, “No, it’s not good enough!” And I’ll be like, “It’s good enough!” And we, like, start yelling at each other. So I’m trying to, like, get her to lower her standards and she won’t. And I love that about her.
Caroline: Stubborn. Yeah, it’s fun to see other people’s sewing habits, as well. Like, you know, we sew so often on our own. I feel like we develop our own little quirky things that we do. And I’ll always remember, we have a friend who, she was sewing with us one day and she just didn’t trim her threads for the entire project. And then at the end tried it on and it just was, like, hairy with threads. And we were like, “Why do you have so many loose threads?” And she was like, “Why would I do it as I go along? I just do it all at the end.” It looked so goofy, but I was like, you know what? That makes sense.
Helen: There’s a wonderful moment in the book where your grandmother gives you some of your great-grandmother’s sewing stuff, and you talked a bit about how your grandmother and great-grandmother’s relationship to sewing is different from yours. Can you touch on that a little bit?
Maddie: Yeah, sure. I mean, I think this is probably the case for lots of sewists working now. I think, for my ancestors, sewing was much less about leisure. Like, it was really a practical skill that they used as, like, it was like a domestic skill. It would be like, somebody’s coat needs to be re-hemmed. I’ll re-hem it. That would be cheaper and quicker, and I’ve got the skills to do it. I think knowing that about my ancestors makes me feel particularly lucky to be living now and to kind of have sewing as a leisure activity. ‘Cause I think it is the kind of activity that, it feels markedly less fun when you have to do it. I think lots of sewists will recognize the feeling of, like, somebody in your family thinking that it’s no big deal for them to ask you to, like, hem their pants or something. And like maybe you’ll do it if you love them and it’s not gonna be a big deal. But also I think sometimes people don’t really know how much effort or work goes into even a small sewing task or a small alteration. And they’ll kind of ask you thinking that they’re not asking something very large, but then you’re kind of in a difficult position of saying, I don’t really wanna do that. So I feel particularly lucky kind of knowing that, for me, I can really just define sewing as this leisure activity. And isn’t that a privilege to kind of have it as this wonderful, fun hobby when I know that, particularly for my great-grandmothers, but I think also for my grandmother, it would’ve been more just something they had to do to kind of keep the household running. Despite that, I do think, like, there’s a similarity between our experiences, as well, in that I think sewing is still something creative. Um, knowing that it’s something that the female members of my family have done for multiple generations is kind of a special tradition.
Helen: I love that. I think a lot of people connect with their grandmothers and great-grandmothers and mothers through sewing, and it can be a really special way to reflect on your heritage and your ancestry. Do you still have some of those things that you got from your great-grandmother’s sewing collection?
Maddie: I do. I have, like, a really ancient thimble that she had, and this really old, heavy, kind of like rust-speckled pair of scissors. But I think at this point they’re more museum pieces than, like, things I would actually use.
Helen: Fair enough. Maybe they can be, like, sewing room decor for you.
Caroline: Yeah. There were also several moments in the book where it felt like sewing had a real transformative power. Like you kind of used it to change a bad experience into a better one. So what do you think it is about sewing that gives it that power?
Maddie: Well, I’m a bit worried this is gonna sound really woo-woo. I think I’m, like, generally not a woo-woo person, but then I say something like this and I’m like, maybe I am. I think the outcome of, like, all creative acts is kind of a, if you go through something where you have a lot of negative feelings about something and you kind of, you’re sitting with these negative feelings, the way to kind of transform those into something else is to put them somewhere else or, like, turn them into something else or apply the energy somewhere else. So I guess it’s not just sewing but, like, any creative act. But I think, yeah, like, the way we metabolize anything hard is to feel it and then to do something with those feelings. So I think making something out of a bad experience is a way of changing that experience because it’s like you’re kind of acknowledging that the experience exists and you’re sort of looking at it in the face, and then you’re kind of also insisting that there’s something apart from it. Which is like, I guess, like the beauty or the integrity of the thing that you’ve made. I mean, I think there’s lots of ways where this kind of applies in, like, a bigger picture sense. Like, I think, like, if you look at the history of, like, protest quilts or items that people make to commemorate the death of a loved one, I think those are really, like, potent examples of when, you know, something has gone really wrong whether on, like, a large scale or personally for somebody, and they’ve turned it into something that’s beautiful or meaningful in some other way. I think, also, just, like, I feel like maybe this doesn’t happen so much in my book, but I think when you go through something hard, sewing something to commemorate that it was hard is sort of a way of saying, yeah, it really hurt and that mattered to me. And here’s the thing I’ve made out of all of that, which I think is really meaningful.
Caroline: Yeah, it is. We are powerful because we have sewing and we can use it, you know? And, I think it’s, it’s nice that, you know, we don’t always have to make a garment to wear. It can be any kind of keepsake and it’s just so special that we have that power to do that.
Maddie: Yeah. Have either of you had an experience like that?
Caroline: For me, I haven’t. I feel like I should use sewing more to commemorate those hard times or to, like, channel. I think I, I use it as a distraction a lot of the times when I need something to sort of, channel and just make myself escape. Yeah. But yeah. What about you, Helen?
Helen: Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. For me, it’s a meditative experience, where I think, a lot of that processing of emotion, whatever emotions you’re having, can happen while you’re sewing because you’re kind of sitting there with the sound of your machine and you’re going through the motions. And I do find that I get a lot of time to just think to myself. The same way I feel about gardening when I’m outside and I’m digging in the dirt and my mind is just processing information and feelings. And that can be really beautiful and really helpful to take some time to actually think about all the things that are going on instead of being distracted by shiny screens and whatnot. I think that that is very helpful in my life.
Maddie: Mm, for sure. That’s very relatable.
Caroline: I did find your book so inspiring in the way that you sort of used sewing to commemorate. And in the later parts of the book, you started to include meaningful and beautiful details in your projects. So I wonder if you could tell us a little bit more about specifically the embroidered lining in your Paola Jacket.
Maddie: Yeah, so there’s this chapter in my book that is about making a Paola Jacket. So that’s The Fabrics Store, free pattern online. And it was a jacket I’d made several times before. And I made this particular version after having a bit of an uncomfortable encounter at work. It’s kind of, somebody said something that was like a little bit of a microaggression and I kind of went home and I was like, did I imagine that? Was I making that up? Am I ridiculous to feel so kind of, like, rageful and helpless? That I decided that I would kind of put that energy into sewing. And so I made a corduroy Paola Jacket, and then I decided that I would line it by stitching in these little, like, linen squares that had the embroidered Chinese names of my female ancestors on my mum’s side into the lining. And I don’t really know, like, why I decided to do this. It was kind of a random, it just, just arrived. Um, I think I had seen a maker on Instagram whose handle is @hemelbreker who had made a really beautiful jacket which had an embroidered lining where she had taken lines from the diary of an ancestor who’d been killed during the Holocaust. And I just thought that was such a beautiful way of kind of remembering those stories and remembering those people. And I liked the idea of, also, an embroidered lining, I think. Something about it felt really private and I kind of liked that.
You know, I think, like, your feelings about complex things tend to be kind of private and you don’t necessarily need to have them on display for people to comment on. So I wanted to kind of capture all of that somehow. And I chose the names of my ancestors because I felt very close to my grandmother, particularly, and my mum’s name is also there. And, beyond that, my two great-grandmothers on the Chinese side, I didn’t really know very well, and I was, like, a little bit afraid of them. But you know, they’d had very hard lives that had, you know, they were representative of the lives of many Chinese women of their generation. So I felt like that was something I wanted to commemorate somehow. And so, yeah, and that was also really great ’cause I didn’t know their names, uh, before that experience, or I didn’t know how to write them. And so kind of getting to embroider them, which is, anyway, this very slow process, was a kind of special way of spending time with that as well.
Caroline: Yeah.
Helen: That’s amazing. It’s such a beautiful project and I loved that, throughout the book, you’re finding these deeper connections with your family and with your Chinese heritage. And you also made a cheongsam as one of your projects. Can you tell us a bit about that process?
Maddie: I can. I feel like it’s a very, like, grumpy chapter of the book because I actually hated making that garment. I guess, just for the benefit of the listeners, a cheongsam is like, the traditional Chinese style of dress with the kind of, like, diagonal neckline across the front that is sort of held together by particular ties. And it tends to have, like, little cap sleeves and be this quite fitted and quite feminine dress with a sort of pencil skirt. It’s something that my grandmother had worn when I was small and I kind of knew about as, like, a symbol of Chinese culture, but was not a garment I ever felt comfortable wearing. Like, I felt like it didn’t suit my body and I didn’t like that it was so tight. I felt like the fabrics that it was usually made from made me feel like I was playing dress-up. Like, I didn’t wanna have, like, a red silk cheongsam with, like, dragons on it or something. I felt like that just didn’t feel honest as to who I am or, like, what my taste is. But I liked the idea of making a cheongsam because I felt like it was a way of connecting with this heritage and I thought it might be an interesting project.
And so I made this cheongsam in the book, which is sort of a, I guess, like a slightly modernized cheongsam. Like, I changed the shape of the skirt so it’s a bit more A line and I thought it was gonna be this fun project, but actually, it was just terrible in every way. Like, I’d never wear the cheongsam I made. It doesn’t suit me and I didn’t like making it, and I, so many things went wrong during the process. I think sometimes you just have, like, a slightly cursed project that, you know, just, like, it just won’t work the way you want and you have to unpick so many seams and by the end you’re like, why did I decide to do this? But that, I think that felt kind of symbolic at the time. Like I was like, oh, I think maybe this is not quite the right iteration of this garment, or I haven’t quite landed on something that feels like me. And so I ended up making a second cheongsam-inspired thing, which is like a black top and it has the diagonal neckline, but it’s not a dress and it’s not hugely fitted. And that felt way more me, and I feel like I wear that all the time. But I suspect making a cheongsam is something that I will return to, maybe, during my sewing years. And I’m sure I’ll revisit it in the future.
Helen: I like that you’ve already made a second garment that has inspiration from it. I mean, that sounds like a real win. And one of the things we wanted to ask you about was sewing failure because, as a sewist, you know, you’ve been sewing for what, six years now; I’m sure you’ve had your fair share of garments like this that just don’t work out. And how do you push past that? Like, what’s your process like for dealing with sewing failures?
Maddie: Oh, honestly, it could be so much better, Helen. I think, truly, I just hate it. Like, I just feel really grumpy and annoyed with myself and it depends in what way the garment has failed. Like, if I’ve made it and it’s a perfectly functional garment, but it just doesn’t suit me or look the way I hoped, then I’m like, okay, this is disappointing. But it’s, like, fine, because I can give the garment away or, you know, there’d be, there’s something I can do with this, ’cause it’s in pretty good shape. Whereas if I’ve made something that, it’s just terrible, like, it just doesn’t look good, it’s like unprofessionally finished, I feel like I, there’s just no way in hell I’d ever wear it or anyone I know would wear it, that’s, like, a way more disappointing experience. I think the correct advice to give myself in this situation would be like, okay, put the garment aside for a couple of weeks or something, and then return to it and cut it into something else. Like, if I liked the fabric and it’s big enough to cut into something else, I think that’s a good way of going about things. But I feel like usually what happens is I put the garment away thinking it’s gonna be for, like, two weeks, and then I just sort of, it just sits there at the bottom of my box for like six months. Every time I look at it, I feel kind of guilty and I’m still annoyed by it, like, six months later. It’s not a great idea. If you have any advice, I’d gratefully take it.
Helen: Well, our next little question here is about quilting, and as you were talking, I was thinking about how, you know, you could cut it to make it into another garment, but also, if you’re truly dissatisfied and you know you’re never gonna refashion it, you could just cut it up into kind of, like, squares and rectangles with the intention of maybe working it into a quilt, if it’s a quilt-friendly fabric. That’s my only idea at this point.
Maddie: Mm, that’s a great idea.
Caroline: I love the idea of making a quilt out of all your failed projects.
Helen: There you go. That’s a good way to channel all that energy.
Caroline: There’s something cathartic about that. Yeah.
Helen: But yeah, we did wanna ask you about quilting because I saw that you had a quilting project in the book. And I was very excited when I got to that chapter. I was like, oh my gosh, she’s quilting now. Shut the front door. So, are you still quilting? How’s the quilting going? I need to know.
Maddie: I am still quilting. I think the quilt that I am making in the book was maybe not a good first quilt project ’cause it involved a lot of curved edges. So that was kind of a challenge. But I think now I kind of know that that’s not the way to go for me. And I do keep all my scraps and I do kind of, like, try and fashion them into quilts at the end. At the moment, I have my eye on a quilting pattern by Spaghetti Western Patterns which has got, I dunno what it’s called, it might be like the Hurry Home Quilt or something. But it’s got these really cute little blocks that are like little houses with a chimney. But they’re made of, like, lots and lots of tiny rectangles. And I was like, I think this is something I could do. And I feel like it would be a really fun, like, colour blocking kind of challenge. So that’s something that’s on the cards. I do think quilting feels quite different from sewing. Like it does feel like kind of, kind of a different discipline or like a different skillset. Particularly, like, if you look at, like, the quilts that, I don’t know, like I think lots of cities have, like, a quilting show and you go along and it’s like, you know, hundreds of women in their sixties and seventies who’ve made these incredible, really large-scale quilts that tell a story or they’ve got like the most incredible applique or…there’s just such a, like, different world of skills that I’m like, wow, I have no idea what that involves. I feel like my quilting is very amateur compared with that, but I do like it and I do feel like it does feel a bit different from sewing and that, I guess, because it’s not about fitting a garment to the body, it feels a little bit less self-referential in some way, which I kind of like. Like, I think that’s kind of a nice way of getting out of that bubble. And it also feels maybe a little bit more like an artwork because it’s something that will be on display in a way that’s, like, separate from anything else. And it’s just, like, something to be looked at and regarded, which I think is quite special.
Helen: Yeah, it really lends itself to marking occasions, too, like we were talking about before, marking times in your life or milestones in your life or other people’s lives ’cause they make such great gifts. So, obviously I’m a big fan, but I did wanna say, too, that there are so many different styles of quilting, and I completely relate to that feeling when you go to a quilt show and you’re like, whoa, like, this is quilting? I, I don’t think I could ever do this. The level of artistry at quilt shows is crazy. It’s absolutely mind-blowing. And most people, most quilters are not doing that. And it’s also, quilting, uh, it’s all quilting, you know? There’s lots of different styles and takes. So never feel like you’re not quilting ’cause you’re not doing that, you know?
Maddie: That’s very kind.
Helen: You mentioned fitting there and I wanted to ask you, like, how has your experience been fitting garments throughout your sewing journey? Are you learning alterations and adjustments and things?
Maddie: Oh my gosh, Helen. I think going back to the, like, I am kind of a lazy sewist. I think I have a much better grasp now of how to alter things, but that doesn’t mean I always do a good, thorough job of it. I think, also, like, particularly, I feel like pants are my nemesis. It feels like every time I make a new pair of trousers, I’m a different size or a different shape. And so, like, the whole process of fitting and alteration has to be, like, done again. I can’t even tell you how much, like, dread and horror I approach that with. Which I think really has just translated into, like, mostly these days I make elastic-waisted pants or I have, like, my tried and true favourites that I know how to make, like, various small alterations to already, rather than starting with a new pattern. I do feel kind of sad about that ’cause I think there are so many great pants patterns. But the lazy sewist in me just can’t.
Caroline: Pants fitting is so hard.
Maddie: Oh, they so, they really are. There’s so many factors.
Helen: It’s okay. You just might not be in a fitted pants phase of life and you might have a fitted pants phase of life later in life. Who knows?
Maddie: Yeah, we’ll see about that. I feel like both of you are very good at alterations and fitting, from what I’ve heard. Is it something that you enjoy?
Caroline: I feel like I err more on the lazy side of sewing, where I will avoid making a muslin and fitting something if I can. But I do sort of know my go-to adjustments and I’ll sometimes just make them right off the bat. I usually adjust for height and stuff. But when I have to, I do enjoy it. Like, when I know it’s a project that’s gonna take time, there’s something satisfying about fitting. But I feel like, Helen, you probably have a slightly different take.
Helen: Well, I do kind of revel in that phase sometimes because it’s so fun to just experiment and, as a pattern designer, obviously I enjoy trying things out and seeing how it looks. And so I’m already kind of trained to just do that when I’m developing the designs. And so when it comes to fitting things, I like making the muslin and I like seeing how it fits and I like tweaking and experimenting. I would not consider myself a fitting expert by any means ’cause I really only have experience with my body and, like, helping my customers over the years. But there’s so much to learn about fitting and it’s so daunting. I think everyone can relate to that. One big tip I have for fitting is, if you can, just to, like, have a bolt of muslin. ‘Cause just having the fabric right there, ready to go, makes a difference sometimes. ‘Cause you’re just like, this is what I use when I’m trying things out. And you don’t have to feel like, which fabric am I gonna pick to, like, sacrifice to this project and which bedsheet am I gonna cut up? And obviously it’s a privilege to be able to have a bolt of muslin, but that has made a big difference in my sewing, is just having it ready to go whenever I want it, you know?
Maddie: That sounds like great advice.
Caroline: It is so interesting and relatable to see how your relationship to sewing sort of changes and evolves throughout the book. And I’ve been dying to ask how has it changed since you finished writing it? ‘Cause we sort of left off and that was a couple years ago, or a few years ago. So what has changed since then?
Maddie: That’s a great question. I think I definitely went through a period of sewing less after I finished the book and particularly, like, last year I moved to Melbourne from New Zealand. And so I feel like kind of being in a new city with, like, a whole range of different fabric shops and, like, different clothing stores and different secondhand shops, like, I feel like that all became quite overwhelming. Like I think for some people maybe it would be like, “Oh, there’s all these new fabric shops. Let me sew heaps more.” But I feel like for me, it kind of became like, oh my gosh, where do I begin? I don’t have any idea, like, where to start. And I also, like, I moved into this really small apartment and I feel like there just wasn’t space to spread out all of my sewing things. And so I’d sewed a bit less then. But I think these days, like, I’ve definitely come back into it over the summer that we’ve just had here. And I feel like now I’m excited to sew things that I feel like are filling a gap in my wardrobe. Like, I think I’m way more intentional about what I’m gonna make and I think my skills have gotten better. So I feel like when I wanna make something that I can’t afford to buy ready-made, I feel like more able to do that. And so that’s kind of a, I’m just, like, a lot choosier and more intentional about what I will make and when. But that also means I think that I am sort of enjoying the process a lot more than I used to. Like, I think there’s this period for lots of sewists when they start sewing where they’re so excited about this new hobby and they’re so excited about, like, all the potential of it and, like, how gorgeous all the fabrics are and, like, how cool all the patterns are that you just make heaps in the first, like, couple of years. And some of it’s like, some of it you do a good job on and some of it you don’t, really. And I think, like, over the sort of years that come after that, you’re like, like if I slowed down and kind of just went a little bit more intentionally about it all, like, I think I would end up with something I would use more. So I think, definitely, I’ve come to that over the recent years. I think, also, now I also make more for other people, because I think I just need fewer clothes. Like, I kind of know what I’m missing, um, and what I’m actually keen to make. And then, like, if I want to sew but I don’t have anything that I need or want, it’s nice to make something for someone else.
Caroline: What have you made for other people? I’m curious.
Maddie: I do often make dressing gowns because I feel like they’re a really flexible garment. Like you sort of don’t need to know someone’s exact size to make something that they might love. And then also things like, I don’t know, like, I got through, I went through this real phase of making, like, oven mitts and like, kind of like household, like, you know, things to put like a hot pot on or whatever. Because that’s a great way of using, like, a really cool fabric but not very much of it. And yeah, it’s also really standard in size. And I’ve made, like, a few, like, aprons. I think those are always really appreciated. But I think, like, I’m hoping this year I’ll make a quilt for a friend of mine who’s having a baby. So I think that’s the next thing on the cards.
Helen: Mm.
Caroline: That’s lovely.
Helen: That’s always a fun project. Yeah. I think a lot of people can relate to this feeling of, of frantically making a ton of things when you first get into sewing. That certainly happened to me. And then slowing down a little bit. And sometimes it can even feel like, do I even like sewing anymore? Or like, if I don’t need any clothes, what am I gonna sew? And that’s when you turn to quilting.
Caroline: Oh my gosh.
Helen: Oh, sorry. I am like a broken record these days.
Caroline: No. Just trying to get everyone into quilting. I love it. Have you dabbled in any other fiber arts, Maddie, like knitting or crochet or anything like that?
Maddie: It’s funny you ask, Caroline, ’cause I, I have just got into knitting this year, as of the last, like, couple of months. So I moved into this share house that has, one of my flatmates is a really big knitter and makes, like, the most exquisite… like, I think the, the week that I moved in, she was finishing this, like, blue polo neck sort of mohair jumper. And I was like, wow, that’s so gorgeous. And I kind of asked her, she just finished it the week I moved in and I was like, “Oh, how long have you been working on this?” And she was like, “Oh, about two months.” And I was like, two months? Like, I can’t think of a garment that I would spend two months sewing. Like, it’s just an incredibly long time. And I was like, gosh, I don’t know how anyone could do that for so long. And then here I am now and I’m, like, working on my second jumper and I’m like, oh, this is great. The pace is perfect. Like, I love knitting. I do think it’s quite different from sewing, but I like that it’s portable and just like really, really slow and really kind of intentional.
Caroline: Oh, that’s awesome. I wanna see, I wanna see this jumper that you’re working on.
Helen: Well, we mentioned this at the top of the show, and we have to reiterate just how much we loved your book. Truly, and we’re not even just saying this, Maddie. It was so beautiful. I cried reading it, multiple times. And I really wanna encourage our listeners to check out this book. We both had goosebumps reading it. It was so great. So we were wondering what you hope sewists feel when they read it. I don’t know if you’re intending to make people cry, but I was moved.
Maddie: That’s very kind. Thank you. I definitely wasn’t intending to make people cry, uh, but that’s very sweet to hear. Like, I want sewists to feel seen. I felt like I’d not come across a book that was kind of not an instructional book and not a nonfiction book about fabric history. Like I wanted, like, a book about sewing and what it feels like to sew. So I’ve tried to write a book that I, I hope does that. I think also, like, I hope that the book makes people want to sew. Like, I think regardless of whether or not you are already a sewist, I hope that it makes you curious and enthusiastic about fiber arts again and, like, encouraged to go and check it out.
Caroline: Yeah, I think it will. I wanna encourage all of our listeners to get your book, read it, listen to it. I listened to the audiobook and it was wonderful to hear the book in your words. So please, please go check it out. We have one last question for you, and that is, what are you sewing right now? Do you have anything on your sewing machine at the moment?
Maddie: I love this question. I’m gonna throw it back to you both in a second. Just by the way, I’m actually, I am sewing another, like, cheongsam-adjacent dress. So I’m sewing this dress called the Aitana dress, I think it’s called, by a pattern designer called Etta Patterns. Aitana is A-I-T-A-N-A and it kind of has the, like, diagonal neckline of a cheongsam but it has these, like, big gathered skirt panels just over the hips. It’s kind of like, if either of you have seen the Henrietta Skirt by Spaghetti Western, it’s got this kind of, like, just gathered over the hips, but the rest of it is fitted. But I liked it ’cause it kind of was like sort of a nod towards a cheongsam, but not quite. And so I’m making this as we’re recording this, so in February, so it’s ahead of the Lunar New Year. And I wanted to make a dress for the Lunar New Year. so we’ll see whether or not I finish it in time. I’ve got about 10 days, but I’m looking forward to it. It’s got, like, a bit of, it’s got some technical sort of tricky bits. There’s an invisible zip insertion, which is, like, one of my personal least favourite sewing things ever. So we’ll see how that goes. But yeah, it should be quite fun.
Helen: Ooh. Yeah, that sounds great. I’m gonna check out that pattern. It sounds really cool.
Maddie: Yeah. What about you both? What are you making?
Helen: On my sewing machine currently is bunting, because I’m making bunting for my wedding. I think it’s gonna be so cute and I really wanna, like, wrap our entire tent in it. And so I made the calculation and I need 500 feet of bunting to pull this off. So I have to make so much bunting. It’s a bit daunting but, honestly, it, it’s a pretty quick sew. You know, once you make the triangles, you’re just kind of, like, stringing them along. So it’s been very fun to put that together. And I have friends helping me out. So we’re collectively working on the bunting, which is great.
Maddie: What kind of fabric are you using?
Helen: Oh, just a bunch of leftover quilting fat quarters. My friend had a whole bunch that she wanted to get rid of, so that’s been nice. And I’ve got some, and so we’re just sort of collecting a bunch of reject fabrics and using those, which is a great use of them. And I’m excited ’cause I think the bunting will be useful for other things, too. Like, obviously I won’t always need 500 feet of it, but we’re gonna make multiple strings so that, you know, you could use them to hang up at a birthday party or something like that and use them over the years for various celebrations. So that will be nice.
Maddie: That sounds so gorgeous.
Caroline: Yeah. I love that you’re gonna keep it and reuse it. It’s great.
Helen: Provided it’s not like, you know, 10 plastic bins full of bunting. We’ll see.
Caroline: Yeah. What does 500 feet of bunting look like? I do not know.
Helen: I don’t know. I don’t know yet. I’ll tell you.
Caroline: Currently, I have a shirt that I’m working on, a button-up shirt, which is actually one of my favourite things to make. I love the, like, precision of a collar and a collar stand and a placket. And working with a cotton shirting, I think, is really satisfying. So I’m excited about that. But I just finished, I have to mention this, I just finished a stuffy for my niece. She’s a year and a half and I made a little stuffy that looks like one of my dogs, Pepper. And I’d never made a stuffy before and it was one of the most joyful sewing experiences ever, especially the final leg that I finished this week, of like, painting the spots on and adding the rosy cheeks and embroidering the eyes and the nose. And I made a little dress for it. It’s the most special thing. I was like, I think I’ve peaked as a sewist. Like, I’m so proud of it. It’s so cute.
Maddie: Mm.
Helen: It’s so cute.
Maddie: Sounds adorable.
Caroline: Yeah.
Helen: It’s fun, like, even after so many years of sewing, you can still discover an aspect of sewing that you’ve never tried before and fall in love. It’s amazing.
Caroline: Yeah.
Maddie: Ever-renewing, hey?
Helen: Yeah, it’s true. Okay, Maddie, where can our listeners find you online and where can they find your book online?
Maddie: That is a great question. Online, I think I would say I’m generally very poor at being online. So I do have an Instagram account, but I check it sort of sporadically. So my Instagram is @maddieballard27, so M-A-D-D-I-E and then Ballard is B-A double-L A-R-D and then the number’s two seven. But I, yeah, I very rarely check it, so I apologize if you send me a nice message and it takes me, like, several months to get back to you. I also do have a substack that I sometimes use. So it is called Field Notes on Feeling, and it’s a little bit about sewing, but it’s also about lots of other things that interest me. But aside from that, you can find Patchwork online. I would recommend ordering it through, like, an independent bookseller. I think, like, in North America you can find it at most, uh, independent bookstores at the moment. But you can also order it online directly through the Tin House website or, yeah, at many other online retailers.
Helen: Perfect. And we wanted to mention that there are sewing community members named throughout the book. There’s Instagram handles, there’s indie pattern makers called out. There’s lots of mentions and people throughout the book. So listeners, you could be mentioned in this book and you won’t know till you read it, so you have to read it to find out.
Caroline: Thank you so much for coming on the show, Maddie. This was such a great convo.
Maddie: Oh, thank you so much for having me. It was really, really delightful.
Caroline: All right. Bye.
Maddie: Bye.
Helen: Bye.
Caroline: That’s it for today’s episode of Love to Sew. You can find me, Caroline, at Blackbird Fabrics and BF patterns and Helen at Helen’s Closet Patterns and Cedar Quilt Co. We’re recording in beautiful British Columbia, Canada.
Helen: You can support Love to Sew and get access to bonus content by subscribing on Patreon or Apple Podcasts. You even get access to the back catalog of bonus episodes. That’s over 75 hours of Love to Sew. Go to patreon.com/lovetosew or check out our podcast page on Apple Podcasts for more info.
Caroline: You can head to lovetosewpodcast.com to find our show notes. They’re filled with links and pictures from this episode. And if you’d like to get in touch with us, leave us a message at 1-844-SEW-WHAT. That’s 1-844-739-9428. Or send us an email at hello@lovetosewpodcast.com.
Helen: Thanks to our amazing podcast team. Lisa Ruiz is our creative assistant and Jordan Moore of The Pod Cabin is our editor. And thank you for listening. We’ll talk to you next week. Bye.
Caroline: Bye.
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