This episode is all about how to sew when you’re a parent or caregiver! How to find the time, how to keep kids away from sharp sewing tools, how to involve kids in your sewing practice, and more. Our listeners called and wrote in with some really cool stories, tips, and strategies!
The transcript for this episode is on this page at the end of the show notes.
Show Notes:
Previous Episodes Mentioned:
- Episode 190: Mystical Stitches with Christi Johnson
- Episode 227: Sewing for a Changing Body
- Episode 234: Sewing and Travel
Bren’s Daughter’s Design and Finished Dress:
Bren Sewing With her Kids:
Jennifer’s Daughter Organizing Her Sewing Clips:
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Other Mentions:
Transcript:
Caroline: We are recording today on the traditional, ancestral, and unceded territories of the Coast Salish and Kwakwaka’wakw peoples, including Tsleil-Waututh, Squamish, Musqueam, and K’ómoks first nations.
Helen: Hello and welcome to Love To Sew. I’m Helen, the designer behind Helen’s Closet Patterns and Cedar Quilt Co.
Caroline: And I’m Caroline, the owner of Blackbird Fabrics and BF Patterns.
Helen: We’re two sewing buds who love to sew and it’s all we know how to talk about.
Caroline: This episode is all about how to sew when you are a parent or caregiver: how to find the time, how to keep kids away from sharp sewing tools, how to involve kids in your sewing practice, and more. Our listeners called and wrote in with some really cool stories, tips, and strategies.
Helen: If you love to sew, this is your show.
Caroline: Hi.
Helen: Hi, Caroline.
Caroline: How are you?
Helen: I’m doing great, thanks. How are you?
Caroline: I’m good. I’m good.
Helen: I think this episode is gonna be really inspiring for all the parents out there and also really inspiring for all the sewists out there, ’cause there is some good strategies in here.
Caroline: Oh, I was gonna say, these tips are transferable, for sure, and I will be taking notes.
Helen: Okay. First we wanted to remind you, as always, that the best way to support the show is by joining us over on Patreon or Apple Podcast subscriptions.
Caroline: Yeah, so you’ll get access to bonus content every month, and we have so much fun catching up with you all on those more casual bonus episodes. We’re gonna record one shortly, Helen, and I cannot wait.
Helen: I know, I’m so excited. It really means so much to us if you’re able to support us, even if it’s just for a month or two. And if that’s not in the cards for you right now, we totally understand. We wanna just say thank you for listening and for cheering us on, for cheering the whole community on. I feel like this episode is really an example of that. Like, lots of people sharing stories and wanting to pass on information and knowledge to other parents and caregivers that, like, you, you can do it. You, you’re gonna get through this. It’s hard, but, like, we got this.
Caroline: I know. I found myself thinking, I want this person to sit down with this person for coffee and have a conversation about how it’s gonna get better.
Helen: Yeah, yeah. It’s so true. And I’m sure there’s a lot of that happening in communities on the, in the sewing world and just in person, too.
Caroline: A hundred percent. Okay, so let’s get into it. In today’s episode, we’re gonna be sharing your strategies for sewing as a parent or primary caregiver. We asked our lovely listeners to call us, email us, or comment on social media to share their stories, systems, and overall experiences, and we got such a great response.
Helen: Yeah. So we’re gonna skip the listener feedback and questions for this episode because we have so much good info to share. And we wanted to note that we’re not gonna be able to share all of the amazing responses that we got. There were just too many good ones. So when we were prepping this episode, we tried to arrange everything so there wasn’t too much overlap in what people were saying. But even if we didn’t end up sharing your contribution in this episode, just know that we really loved reading it or listening to it, and we appreciate everyone who called and wrote to us.
Caroline: Also, remember, even if you’re not a parent or primary caregiver, you might be able to apply the advice in this episode to other situations where you’re limited in some way. Maybe you work long hours or you have chronic illness or you live with roommates. There are lots of good strategies here, so I think we should start sharing them, Helen.
Helen: Yeah. What if you have, like, 10 cats, you know? That’s hard.
Caroline: Yeah, that’s a lot of work, too. I have two kids. Two…fur kids.
Helen: Yeah. Two dogs. Furbabies don’t get in your way nearly as much as real babies.
Caroline: Yeah, they just run down the hallway and go, “Hi, mom!” every once in a while, then run away. Oh my gosh. Okay, let’s get into it. First we have a voicemail from Kelsey.
Kelsey: Hi, Helen and Caroline, this is Kelsey. I’m from Tampa, Florida. Long time listener, first time caller. So for tips and things, as a mom who sews, I have a three-year-old and five-year-old, and the totality of their life is really the most time that I have spent sewing. When my older daughter was born, she was kind of the catalyst for me, and so I know a lot about prioritizing when it comes to sewing projects and having responsibilities with little kids. First up is: clips, not pins. I will avoid pins every single chance I get. Obviously, sometimes, if there’s, like, a pinning of a waistband or something like that, I’ll have to use pins, but the vast majority of the time I will always use clips, not pins. Every time after I finish a project, I’ll do a quick scan of my sewing room to make sure there’s no needles, shears, rotary cutters, or anything else that could hurt them, that’s still out. And then another one is that I would make a priority list on what I needed to do in a day, might be, like, the night before or the morning of, and then I would prioritize things based on things that I absolutely had to get done, like going grocery shopping or doctor’s appointments for my kids or whatever it was. And then if all of the things that I had on my list were not super important, or if they were recurring, like dishes or laundry or things like that, and I knew that my capacity was really low and I really needed something to give to myself, to prioritize myself, then those things would wait. I would let the dishes pile up because the dishes are always going to return. And that was kind of my way of prioritizing myself while also making sure that I was getting in some things that had to be done for my family and the well-being of my whole family. I think the last thing I would say is simply put: just lower your standards. That’s my general advice when it comes to becoming a parent, anyway. When your capacity is low, it’s important for you to prioritize things that you love that are still gonna fill up your cup. So it’s okay to push off the dishes or the laundry because they’re gonna come back anyway.
Helen: Hi, Kelsey. Thank you so much for calling in. You have some really great ideas here. I think minimizing pins is a good way to have peace of mind if you’re worried about losing them on the ground or getting stolen by your kiddos. And what you said about prioritizing sewing over tasks that can wait is something that a lot of our listeners also recommended. Honestly, chores can take up all of your free time if you get into it. So I think it’s totally reasonable to prioritize filling your cup over doing things like dishes and laundry, even though those things need to get done.
Caroline: Yeah, I agree. Whenever my house is really messy, I think to myself, I must be working on my hobbies a lot.
Helen: Who made all this mess?
Caroline: Just no time to clean. Oops.
Helen: Our next voicemail is from another Kelsey. I promise it’s not gonna be all Kelseys.
Caroline: This episode is sponsored by Kelsey.
Kelsey: Hi, Helen and Caroline. My name is Kelsey and I live in North Carolina. I am a mom to an 11-month-old little boy, and I rediscovered my love of sewing right before he was born, actually, by watching the Great British Sewing Bee. I bought a sewing machine on the cheap, used, and didn’t even know if it would work, but really had to find my time to prioritize sewing. Honestly, it’s just been: whenever I can find five minutes here or there to get a little done, I’ve done it. My biggest tip is just to, if you have the space, keep your sewing machine set up and ready to go so that any spare moment you have that you can find the time, you can just get a little sewing in. Um, I love the podcast and thanks so much for all y’all do.
Caroline: Hi, Kelsey. We actually heard from a bunch of sewists that doing prep tasks in short bursts during the day, like filling a bobbin or taping together a pattern, helped them get right into sewing when they finally had a longer block of time. It’s so smart. There are probably hundreds of things you can do that don’t even involve sitting down at the machine. So breaking sewing steps into super small tasks and then doing them whenever you have a free five to 20 minutes could get you really far. This is such great advice.
Helen: Yes. All right. Our next voicemail here is from Katie.
Katie: Hi, Helen and Caroline. My name is Katie. I’m from Portland, Oregon, and I love the pod and I love to sew, and I’m also a mom. So I wanted to respond to your prompt about sewists who are parents. ‘Cause I just have so many thoughts about this. I actually didn’t start sewing until about a year and a half ago. I had never used a sewing machine before that. But I just got completely obsessed and I have been sewing a ton since then. In the last year and a half I’ve made 84 different projects. I sew pretty much every day. I love it. It’s my me time. It’s my self-care. It’s my creative time. And I didn’t get into sewing until my son was about four years old, so preschool age, and he’s still in preschool. And yeah, I mean it definitely presents a lot of challenges as a parent who also works full-time. Time is obviously a huge constraint. So I guess what I found was, you know, I hear people talk about, like, wanting like a big block of time to sew in and, I mean, that would be amazing, but a lot of the times I’m like sewing in 10 or 15 minute increments, which can kind of sound crazy. But, you know, it’s enough to get, like, one or two steps done. And you can get things done if you don’t try to wait for those big blocks of time. ‘Cause those aren’t always gonna happen.
I tend to also sew after bedtime. My son goes to bed pretty early, luckily, so I usually have about an hour, an hour and a half after he goes to bed. And that’s, like, my main sewing time, so. And then the other thing that my husband and I started doing, once I started getting really into sewing, is we designated one day a week for him and one day a week for me, and actually one day a week for my son, too, that we call our creative nights. And on your creative night, you’re not responsible for anything after the workday ends except for doing your creative thing. So that means the other parent kind of handles making dinner, bathtime, bedtime, all the evening routine stuff. And then whoever is working on the creative project can just kind of lock in and focus. And that has been really great ’cause it gives me an extra, like, two or three hours in the evening that I can really, like, get a lot of progress done. So obviously, like I said, I’ve, I’ve sewn a lot in the past year and a half. And, I guess I just wanna say, like, it’s possible and if you’re really passionate and excited about it, like, you can find little ways to sneak it in and not be intimidated by like, “Oh, I have to have a two hour block.” Like, you’re probably not gonna get a two hour block. So if you have a 30 minute block, if you even have a 15 minute block, like, that’s enough to at least set yourself up. Like, get your machine set up and threaded with the right threads that you need or, like, get a pattern cut out or just, like, complete one or two steps. And so that’s the cool thing about sewing, you know, is you’re following all these steps and then you’re done. So you don’t have to do all the steps at once. You can just do one or two, and that still is moving you forward on your project. So just don’t be intimidated by that.
And then the last thing I kinda wanted to say was, like: sewing has been so incredibly meaningful for me in my life as a mom, and I feel like it kind of gave me myself back as a parent because I was taking time for myself to learn a new skill, to be creative, to follow my own whimsy and explore and learn and, like, you do so much for your kids, especially when they’re small. Doing that for myself, it was, like, the first journey that I went on as a parent that was really just for me and it just gave me so much back to my life. Like, so much meaning and joy and creativity and just accomplishment that was, like, outside of my parenting and that was just so powerful for me as a mom. It really felt like moving into a new phase of being where, you know, those first early years, you’re just so focused on your kid and all of that stuff. And so, like, really turning to something else was just an incredible experience for me. And sewing has just changed my life. I’m so grateful for it. And I love the podcast, like I said, so I can’t wait to hear what other folks have to say. Thank you. Bye.
Helen: Wow. Katie, thank you so much for calling in with all of this. You are so prolific. I love that each member of your family has a creative day. Such a great way to make sure that you all have time for yourselves to explore and work on anything you wanna work on. Trading caregiving responsibilities with your partner or another caregiver was another strategy that popped up over and over in our responses. So if you have access to that, obviously that’s a really great thing to utilize in order to get your sewing time. It just sounds like you’re approaching it in a really amazing way. And thank you for sharing.
Caroline: Yeah. Thank you so much, Katie. Adele wrote, “I ask for two nights home alone any chance I get: birthday, Mother’s Day, et cetera. My spouse and daughter go visit his parents for the weekend and I get time to sew. I have to break up the planning and getting supplies into little tasks in the weeks before, and then I’m ready to sew. Our apartment is too small for me to sew in when others are around, so this arrangement feels win-win.”
Helen: Ooh, this is a great idea. I’ve heard people say they like gifting experiences over things, and this takes it to a whole new level. I mean, maybe if there’s a parent in your life, you could offer a few hours of childcare as a little gift. I love that idea.
Caroline: Yeah. I love this for anyone and everyone as well. Just have two days at home alone, without your partner, without your family, without your roommates, and just, like, bask in that time to work on your hobbies.
Helen: That’s so true. You could set this up even if you don’t have kids. Rebecca wrote, “I found out by chance that a local sewing studio and charity was starting up an open studio. You can book in for three-hour slots. You bring your project and use all their equipment whilst also having expert advice on hand. I’ve been going once or twice a month, and it’s just so relaxing. Switching off from daily chores and focusing on a sewing project is perfect for recharging your batteries.”
Caroline: Yeah, this sounds really fun. I think this would be a really great way to meet sewing friends, too.
Helen: Yes, totally. Love this.
Caroline: Alright, next up we have a voicemail from Bren.
Bren: Hi, Caroline and Helen. Yeah, I have five kids, so four girls and a boy. And people are always asking me, “How do you find time to sew?” And honestly, I really just sacrifice other things to make my sewing happen. I feel lucky to have a sewing space on the main floor, and I thought about putting a lock on it so I could shut the door and work on my own projects. But I’m so glad I didn’t because I love having the door open. I love having my kids come in and their friends come in and we talk and I show them what I’m working on and they have questions. It also makes it super easy for me to work on projects in smaller time increments. ‘Cause I’m able to, like, work on dinner for a minute and then go to my sewing studio for a minute and then come back and forth. So I really like having that open door studio space on the main floor. But I will say, there are certain times where I do need my own sewing time, and I need that sewing time to be my alone time. And my husband is so great at giving me time to sew. He will watch a movie with the kids in the basement. He knows that I am not a big TV or movie person, so that is how he shows that he is giving me sewing time, by watching a movie with the kids. And that is definitely my love language. Um, if I wanna get really fancy, I grab a sparkling water and some Junior Mints and I can just sew all night. It’s so fun.
My kids are always involved with what I’m working on. They’re constantly putting in requests. They know the sewing pattern websites. They know the fabric shopping websites. They’re, um, excited to be a part of the process whenever I’m making things for them. One of my daughters is really into this, um, designing process. I had some really tacky sparkly polyester scraps that someone gave me. And as a 7-year-old, I gave her my sketchbook and she created this dress. It’s, like, long and slinky and bright blue, and it had these really huge red sequin sleeves and then this gold drapey sash that went around the neckline and, like, swooped in the back. We drafted it and we made it and she helped sew it and cut out the pattern pieces and it turned out pretty awesome. It is very, very gaudy and it looks like a version of a Superman costume turned into a dress. Definitely not my style, but she was so proud and so excited to wear it to our church. We had just moved to a new area and I was a little bit hesitant to let her wear this crazy dress to church, but she was so proud and people gave her lots of compliments and I hope that just boosted her confidence in sewing. With the same daughter, she helped design a swimsuit and we sewed that together and she was really, got really into picking out the fabric. We did the Ellie and Mac Amber Active Tankini sewing pattern and we ordered from Raspberry Creek Fabrics here in Utah. So she had fun doing that and it turned out really great. I think sewing with kids can be really fun and I think she has definitely caught onto the magic, been empowered to see how cool it is to design something and sew it and have it fit you. So I would encourage people to sew with their kids, even though it’s crazy sometimes. Alright. Thanks. Bye.
Caroline: Hi, Bren. Thank you for this amazing voicemail. You have so many great ideas here. I love how you’ve involved your kids in your sewing. I think it’s so good for kids to see their parents making things and being creative. And sewing is self-care. And even if your kids don’t end up sewing, they’ll probably find a cool hobby that fills their cup, too. It’s so great to set that example for them. And it’s also really smart that you have a sort of system to get sewing time in while your kids and husband watch a movie. Bren actually sent us some pics of her daughter’s amazing fashion sketch and finished sequin dress, plus a couple of pics with her little ones at the sewing machines with her. So we’re gonna share them in the show notes. This dress is everything. It’s so cute. I love it.
Helen: It’s so good. I love that big sleeve.
Caroline: Yeah, I know. The drapey piece along the back is so nice. I mean, it’s just, it’s perfect. I love it.
Helen: It’s really amazing. So creative. That is such a fun idea. Like, “Sketch me what you wanna make and we’ll make it happen.”
Caroline: Yeah. You’re getting her hooked. It’s perfect.
Helen: We definitely had other sewists also recommend getting kids involved in their sewing. Kendall wrote, “I’m a single mom and maintaining my identity is very important to me to feel sane lately. I think my hobby of sewing has increased since having my 4-year-old daughter, Penelope. I’m able to sew with Penelope because my machine has a stop and start button in addition to the pedal. Penelope loves to sit on my lap and press the button when I tell her. I’ve also tried to relinquish control a little bit, where possible. In the past, I’ve liked quilting because it’s very formulaic. Find the pattern, cut the exact measurement, sew the straight line, have a lovely quilt. With Penelope, I try to let her have control where possible, which is uncomfortable at times. She picks out fabrics for me, picks the order in which they’re aligned, and I let Penelope take the credit for quilts among our family. I had a proud moment recently when Penelope brought her homemade quilt for preschool nap time and assumed every kiddo had a mom who could sew and make things. She talks often about our matching pajamas, the custom costumes I make for dress up, and how I took her baby clothes and made a quilt. I hope that I’m able to inspire her to be able to craft and make anything she dreams of.
Caroline: Oh, I love this, Kendall. I love that Penelope just thinks that everyone has a mom that sews. Like, “Yeah, doesn’t your mom sew? Come on.”
Helen: Right? She’s gonna learn one day how special that really is.
Caroline: Yeah, totally. And I’m sure she’ll grow up with a love of crafting, thanks to how you’ve made it so much fun. You’re actually one of the few sewists who’ve told us that you sew more since becoming a parent. I think that letting go of perfection is a big part of why Penelope has such a good time. Our creative assistant, Lisa, used to be a teacher, and she told us that kids need 10 praises for every criticism. This is actually backed up by a study covered by Harvard Business Review, which showed that the ideal praise-to-criticism ratio for strategic business unit leadership teams is more than five to one. So for those of us who are hoping to teach kids to sew or involve kids in our sewing, it might feel like you’re watching them do a million things wrong. But if you let the small stuff go and praise them for a bunch of things that they’re doing right, they’re gonna have a lot more fun. And then when you have a criticism or a teaching moment, it’s gonna land a lot better.
Helen: Yes, it’s so true. I think about the times when I’ve sewn with my niece Zoya, and it’s important to hide your reactions sometimes. Like, there are definitely moments where I’m standing behind her at the machine and you should see my face. Or I’m like, oh my god! Like, I’m nervous that, like, it’s gonna go off the rails. It’s not even a criticism so much, it’s just, like, they’re figuring it out. They don’t know how to handle fabric and pins and, like, you’re watching it happen and you’re just, like, holding your breath, like, oh my gosh. But like, it’s important to keep that to yourself and just say, like, “You’re doing great.”
Caroline: Oh yeah, absolutely. Gowri wrote, “If I don’t sew, it’s detrimental to the people around me. I sew on the weekends or nights when kids are in bed or super early in the mornings. I used to wear the babies when I sewed. So much easier, and I think the overlocker is white noise? When they were three, they started sewing, so I set up my old machine next to mine and now they just come in and sew when I’m sewing. It’s become a communal space for creativity.”
Helen: Oh, I love the idea of starting kids on sewing really young and then getting them a machine of their own. And we heard from several sewists that their babies got used to the sound of the sewing machine or the serger, and they were able to be worn or kept nearby in a carrier. So that’s pretty cool.
Caroline: Very, very cool.
Helen: Other sewists recommended setting stuff up for kids to play with in your sewing area. Former guest Christi Johnson wrote, “Now that my daughter is two and a half, she actually loves being in my studio with me. I give her scrap fabrics, scissors, a ruler, some paper, and pencils, so she doesn’t try to get too much into my projects. And having a machine that doesn’t run unless the presser foot is down keeps us from having any accidents. Otherwise, I’d keep the machine off when it’s not in use. You also just kind of have to let go of the idea of keeping the space clean. Kids will inevitably wanna unfold fabric, pull out stacks of paper. It’s easier to just allow for 10 minutes at the end of the session to clean up together.”
Caroline: I really love this. You both get some craft time and then you both clean up together. I think this is a great teaching moment for kids, as well. So yeah, really, really awesome advice there. Thank you.
Helen: I’m sure it doesn’t always work out.
Caroline: Yeah.
Helen: Like, sometimes, you go in with your kid and they end up making too much of a mess and you’re like, okay, not today. But sometimes you’re gonna get some time.
Caroline: Absolutely. Alright, next up, Annie wrote, “One of the best things I’ve done as a parent is introducing the concept of collecting things. My two daughters, three and five, both collect buttons. One of their favourite things is going to the fabric store and looking through all the buttons there. They get to pick three buttons each, so they stay occupied choosing as I’m looking at fabrics.”
Helen: Uh, this is genius. I bet they’re so proud of their button collections. I loved collecting stuff when I was a kid. And there’s so many fun kids’ crafts to make with buttons, too, if they’re interested. So that’s really smart. Although I do think one day they’re gonna start collecting fabric and then you’ll be in trouble.
Caroline: Yeah. Keep it to buttons.
Helen: Yeah. Andrea wrote, “I started to sew because knitting was too time-consuming. I learned that, with sewing, I can make way more progress during naps. I sew in two hour increments, nap times, and after bedtime. Now I have a toddler, and although I can’t involve her in the sewing, she does help me when I assemble and cut patterns. She uses crayons to colour all over the pattern while I assemble everything. She’s also keen to learn and often pretends to sew just like her mom.”
Caroline: Andrea, this is so cute, and I bet you have the most colourful patterns. I feel like kids’ drawings are, like, the most precious thing ever. Like, I would just hang those patterns on the wall.
Helen: You get to look at it every time you make that garment. That’s pretty fun.
Caroline: Yeah, totally.
Helen: This reminds me of when you’re a kid and you go to a family restaurant where they have paper on the table and they bring you crayons and you get to draw on it and it’s, like, feels so cool.
Caroline: Alright, next up we have a voicemail from Jennifer.
Jennifer: Hi, this is Jennifer from Minnesota, USA, and I have two children who I sew for pretty frequently. I had, at one time, tried to make a whole wardrobe for my daughter when she was littler, but have given up on that type of goal, and now I just sew about a couple items per season for them, um, as they grow. And I’ve begun sewing a bit for myself, as well. I primarily sew at night when they are in bed or on the weekends. Thanks so much.
Caroline: Hi, Jennifer. Your voicemail touches on another theme that we saw in the responses, which is: keep your expectations reasonable. Sewing a whole wardrobe for someone is a huge job, even if you’re not a parent. So sewing a couple of pieces per season for each child is really amazing, so you should definitely give yourself a little round of applause. Good job.
Helen: Yes. I’m always really impressed by the parents out there who manage to sew not only some things for themselves, but also outfit their children in all these cute looks. It’s very impressive.
Caroline: Saki wrote, “I don’t sew nearly as much as I used to, but I’ve found the best way for me to find a way to sew is to lower my sewing standards. Sounds depressing, probably, but it actually helps.” I don’t think it sounds depressing, by the way. “Becoming a parent or primary caregiver means that your time is no longer yours alone. While it’s possible to find small pockets of time that aren’t beholden to someone else, I end up using that for things that require intense focus. So that means I use time with my kids to sew. They trace patterns with me. They have their own pen and paper. They cut patterns and fabrics with me, again, with their own paper and scissors. They watch me pin and they sit on my lap while I sew on the machine. We have strict rules about where their hands can be while I’m using the machine, and I stop at every pin for them to pull it out. They are two and four now and love to sew. My projects are no longer perfect or fast. The biggest bonus is that they’re growing up in an environment where they learn that things are made by people. We started when my oldest was 18 months, and when he was two he told me some things on the way to preschool. He was wearing a new pair of purchased shorts and he said, ‘Mama, someone sewed these shorts. Someone chose the fabric and someone chose the thread.’”
Helen: Oh, oh. I absolutely love hearing that. Letting go of perfection is really good advice for anyone who’s having a hard time finding time to sew, but especially good for parents or people who are sewing with children. And I also love how participating in making things has given them this wider perspective on the world and where clothing comes from. That’s so cool.
Caroline: Yeah, I’m kind of shocked by how young some of these kids are going into the sewing room and participating. As a non-parent, I imagine a two or four-year-old, like, not being able to do these things, so it’s really awesome that you’re starting them so young.
Helen: Yes, it’s very impressive. Next up, we have a voicemail here from Lauren.
Lauren: Hi there. This is Lauren. I am from Colorado. I’ve been sewing for three or four years, but I recently had my first child last summer, and I really thought that during the initial baby days I would have lots of time to sew a whole bunch of things. But honestly, postpartum bodies are different for everyone. So I didn’t really sew that much because I just wasn’t sure what my body was going to become and how it was gonna change after having the baby. And I know that wasn’t the topic of the questions you were asking, but that was a big deal for me, to where I haven’t really sewn anything that much in the past year and a half, just waiting to see how the body flows. But nap times are key. In the beginning, they sleep all the time, so there’s plenty of time to sew. As he’s gotten older, nap times are few and far in between, so, really, my sewing has completely disappeared. But, for one night, I got an idea in my head to sew a shirt. I put him down at about 7:00 PM and I was done, had a shirt made, I think, by 11:00 PM. But I had used his daytime nap time to actually print and cut the pattern. So it’s all just balancing.
I’m solo parenting right now while my husband is gone for a couple months. So that has pushed my sewing practice even further away because, by the time I get the baby down, it’s just time to kick my feet up and relax. But I miss sewing so much and I am really looking forward to getting back to it when my husband comes back. I told him that I’m gonna spend every Saturday morning just locked down in the basement while he has to be the parent so that I can sew all the projects that are on my back burner. But it’s still so much fun. I can’t wait. I made him a Halloween costume for his first year. I made him these little bird wings and connected it to an outfit. I made him a birthday hat to wear on each of his birthdays. I did Velcro so that I can put the number, the year of whenever his birthday is, which actually coincides with my husband’s birthday, because he turned 30 the year that the baby was born. So, um, each year we’ll just add a three in front of the baby’s birthday hat. So I’m excited for him to get bigger and to sew more things for him. And that is my long spiel on sewing as a parent, as a new parent, and figuring it all out for a postpartum body where your waist measurements are drastically larger than the rest of my body, in my hips. So sizing was very, very tricky and I’ve only made flowy big boxy shirts. I haven’t touched a pair of pants since before the baby. So thank you and I love the podcast and have a great night, ’cause it’s nighttime where I am right now, but have a great day.
Helen: Hi Lauren. Thank you so much for calling in and for sharing. It can be really hard to sew garments when your body is going through changes, but there are some styles that work over several sizes and there’s some other strategies that you can use to make garments flexible, too, like making wide seam allowances, sewing with stretchy fabrics, or making alterations. And if you’re interested, we did an episode on this called Sewing for a Changing Body, and that’s episode 227. So that was the first thing we wanted to mention. Also, I just wanted to offer a big virtual hug from both of us ’cause solo parenting is so hard and it sounds like you’re doing everything you can to get through it and you’re gonna have some sewing time in the future. And yeah, we just wanna offer you some hugs and love from afar.
Caroline: Yeah, absolutely. I also love the idea of a birthday hat where you can change out the numbers. This is such a fun tradition and keepsake, and it sounds so cute.
Helen: It is so cute. I really love those, like, monthly photos that people do with their babies, and there’s lots of fun ways to incorporate sewing into that. I’ve seen quilts with that. I’ve never heard of this hat idea, but I really like it.
Caroline: Mmhmm. It’s great. Karis wrote to us with a different perspective of sewing for herself postpartum. “When my baby came along in January this year, I was sitting around watching easy TV while recovering from a C-section and breastfeeding. I started watching the Great British Sewing Bee. I felt inspired to start sewing my own clothes, partly due to feeling inspired to learn the skills, but also because I was struggling to find clothes for my changing body and needs. I put my baby down at about 6:30 and I sew for a few hours in the evening. The sewing has allowed me something for myself, and it’s been a really important part of my routine to help me cope with the demands of breastfeeding and parenting. I’ve absolutely loved being able to learn a new skill during this time, and love that a sewing project can be broken down into smaller tasks.”
Helen: Hi Karis! Okay. It’s so cool that you actually started sewing clothes for the first time after you had a baby and inspired by the Great British Sewing Bee. That’s the second time that’s come up. So this show is doing some heavy lifting in this community.
Caroline: Yeah.
Helen: There are so many cool breastfeeding and maternity-friendly sewing hacks out there, and you can even do that kind of stuff on ready-to-wear pieces. So that’s really cool that you’re getting into that.
Caroline: Yeah, absolutely.
Helen: Our next voicemail is from Andrea.
Andrea: Hi, Helen and Caroline. My name’s Andrea and I’m in Durham, North Carolina. I love your podcast so much. It’s such a wonderful resource and an integral part of my sewing practice to listen to y’all chat about all things sewing and fabric. I’m calling to share my experience as a mom who sews. I work full-time as a scientist and I have two amazing little girls. After my oldest was born, there was a major dip in my sewing time as I adjusted to parenting. But I think perhaps I most needed to learn to be interrupted regularly to shift how I sew. One of my best tips is actually to not clean up, if you can avoid it. I always have a project out on my sewing desk so that I just get a few minutes, even if one of the girls comes in and needs something. Or if I have time after bedtime or early in the morning before work, I can bop around on my machine for a few minutes. Obviously this means having dedicated space to sew, which is a privilege and a gift. And so my other tip would be to be selfish about your sewing because, as parents, we’re pulled in a lot of different directions and running on empty. So I’ve pretty much just written off doing any sewing projects that I’m not excited about. So that way, when I do find time to sew, it’s refreshing and energizing and not draining. Thanks again for your podcast. I’m really looking forward to hearing what other parents have to say. Bye.
Caroline: Hi, Andrea. I love that you choose to be selfish about your sewing. So many parents tell us that if they don’t feel super excited about their sewing projects, they don’t get the same fulfillment. So while baby and kids’ clothes are cute and fun, it’s okay if sewing them is not what you want to do. We’re gonna give you permission to sew fun things for yourself. Not that you need our permission. But if you want it, you have it.
Helen: It’s so true. Or, like, having a balance. I have a friend who’s got a 1-year-old right now and she sews a lot for him. But the other day she came over and she was like, “I’m not sewing anymore baby clothes. I’m gonna make some jeans for me.” And I was like, “Yes! Do it.”
Caroline: Yeah, totally. Sometimes you just need those like cheerleaders to be like, “Yeah! Come on!”
Helen: Of course. Make the jeans. Why not? Listener Rosalyn wrote something similar. “I’ve realized that, in order to actually make progress on clothes for myself, I have to designate times, like whole months, where I’m not gonna be sewing anything for anyone else. This means no clothes for my child or my partner, no gifts for others, et cetera. That has really allowed me to focus on which projects I want for my wardrobe, and it feels really nice to prioritize me.”
Caroline: She also wrote: “Having a toddler and a small living space means sharing my sewing space with our living room, which can be challenging. One tip I have is to store all pokey things in a container that kids can’t open on their own. Note: Periodically check and continue to notice whether they can open it, though, ’cause those skills can develop quickly. For me, a metal cash box with two levels works well for storing my scissors, rotary cutter, pins, and seam ripper, et cetera. I also unplug my sewing machine, serger, and iron when I’m not using them and store the iron out of reach. It’s also been important to talk with my daughter about what I’m doing and what she can and can’t touch, when, and why. We’ve also started talking about getting her a kids’ sewing machine. So, as she gets a little bit older, I could see this being a really fun way to parallel sew.” I love that: “parallel sew.”
Helen: “Parallel sew.” Amazing. The metal cash box is genius. We heard from a lot of sewists who don’t have a separate sewing room, and we even heard from some sewists who do, but they’ve moved their sewing space into a communal area so that they can do, you know, watching the kids as they’re sewing. It’s easier to be in the living room, in some cases. So having those storage units that the kids can’t get into: definitely important. Caroline, I can remember, when I was a kid, touching the iron. Like, I remember ’cause I, I mean, I don’t think I burned myself too badly, but it was bad enough that, like, I remember it, where my mom was like, “Don’t touch this. It’s hot.” And of course, you know, what do kids do, right? They’re like, “Well, how hot could it be?”
Caroline: Yeah.
Helen: “How hot is it? Now I have to know.” And so I touched her iron. I burnt my hand. Again, not too badly, but it was slightly traumatizing. So, you know.
Caroline: Yeah. A learning lesson, I’m sure.
Helen: A learning lesson.
Caroline: This is making me think of my mom’s sewing setup and, like, what memories I have of it. Like, do you remember, like, what your mom kept all of her tools in? Like I, my mom had this, like, wicker basket with, like, a plastic sort of, like, insert on the top and it had a handle. And I just have memories of, like, opening it up and it was all the threads in, inside that you could go through. Like, it’s just, it’s such a warm, fuzzy memory and I feel like all of these kids that are getting to sew alongside their parents are gonna grow up and have these, like, warm, fuzzy memories.
Helen: Oh, definitely. I particularly remember really vividly my mom’s button tin. You know, the one that has all the random buttons in it, the leftover buttons. And it was this long tin, not one of those classic cookie tins, but some other kind of like a tea tin or something. And I loved it when I was a kid. Like, opening it and just, like, sticking my hands in the buttons ’cause it feels so good.
Caroline: Yeah. You’re like the kids who collect buttons.
Helen: Yeah, it’s true.
Caroline: Oh, so great.
Helen: Okay, Jenna, also known as @theladywholunches on Instagram, wrote, “My sewing closet makes all the difference. I never have to clean up a shared space and I can stop and go whenever I have a few minutes to spare.”
Caroline: Okay. Jenna’s sewing space is actually a converted walk-in closet. It’s 43” by 82”, or 24 square feet, and she has a small desk and chair with her machines and lots of vertical storage for her tools and fabric stash. We’re gonna link a post about it in the show notes, but this is a great example of, like, a tiny sewing room that really works.
Helen: It really works. I mean, have you seen the stuff that she makes?
Caroline: Yeah, I know.
Helen: It’s so impressive. Jenna, we both adore following you and everything that you do, so thank you for sharing.
Caroline: Yeah. It’s such a great little space. We have a voicemail from another Jennifer.
Jennifer: Hi, Helen and Caroline. This is Jennifer calling from Los Angeles, California. I have two kids. One is nine and the other one is two. And when my eldest daughter was little, it was so easy to sew with her. She was just happy to be near me or she’d kind of play independently. Um, she was happy to, like, be at my feet while I did it. My youngest one is not like that. She gets into everything. She’s the kind of kid that will, like, if you leave the bathroom door open, she, like, runs in and plays in the toilet, grabs the kitchen knife off the counter, like, not the same kid at all. So since she’s been little, I’ve had to fit sewing in either at night or when another adult is present. There’s just no way to manage it. But as she’s gotten a little bit bigger, Wonder Clips are my answer. So I have a tin of Wonder Clips. She loves them. She thinks when she’s playing with them that she is sewing. And she loves to sort them on the edge of the tin, so she will, like, pin them on the edge of the tin in rainbow order. So when she sees me getting the sewing stuff out, she already knows that it’s Wonder Clip time. If I just give her that and little scraps of fabric, she’s totally happy and she’ll give me an hour and let me sew. So hope that helps any other parents who have a very rambunctious wild child like mine. Get some coloured wonder clips. It’ll save you. Alright, love the show so much. Thank you both. Bye.
Caroline: Helen, I feel like this episode should be sponsored by Wonder Clips and the Great British Sewing Bee.
Helen: It’s true. It’s true. They both come up a lot. And I love this concept of Wonder Clip time and I’m very impressed that it buys you an entire hour of sewing time. That’s amazing.
Caroline: Mmhmm.
Helen: But it is really important to remember that all kids are different. And I’m sure we have parent and caregiver listeners out there who. throughout this episode, have been like, “Yeah, right.” Like, “Okay, great. Glad that works for you, but my kid is a little bit different.” And some kids might be super independent and able to play by themselves, and others might need your attention way more. If any of the tips shared in this episodes wouldn’t work for your family, that’s nothing to feel bad about. They just don’t apply to everybody. So it’s about figuring out what will work with your kids and your home and your support system. And Jennifer did send us some pics of her daughter playing with the Wonder Clips, and she looks so focused and determined. It’s really, really cute. So I love that Jennifer has discovered this little hack.
Caroline: Yeah, absolutely. And that’s also why it’s so great that we’re getting a lot of different perspectives in this episode. I feel like some things are gonna resonate with certain listeners and some won’t. But I’m so grateful that so many people wrote in.
Helen: Yeah, me too. Hannah wrote in with a similar sentiment. “You will see sewists on Instagram coming back from having a baby strapping their babies to themselves and just getting back on the sewing machine. Or maybe their babies are sleeping quietly in the bassinet next to them while they work on their newest make or babbling quietly on the floor while they let their mom sew. That was extremely, extremely not possible for me. And if it’s not possible for you, don’t beat yourself up. My baby was not that kind of easy baby. I never had one of those picturesque moments. It took me months to get back to my sewing machine, and even then, it would be for a handful of minutes. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else and just know that the season passes. You will get back to your makes.”
Caroline: Okay. This is such a great thing to keep in mind. Don’t worry about what other people are doing. If what they’re doing doesn’t work for you, that is totally fine.
Helen: Yes. And on that note, Syd wrote, “My biggest tip is to not compare yourself to other sewists who don’t have kids or full-time work. I spent a lot of time doing that and it made me miserable. I’m proud for myself for finding the thing that I love while also being a good mom, partner, and full-time lineman.”
Caroline: Ooh.
Helen: Oh, amazing. We’re proud of you, too, Syd. And thank you for that.
Caroline: Yeah. And not to just keep repeating this, but this is great advice even if you don’t have kids.
Helen: It’s true. I’m picking up a lot of tips today. Thank you, parents.
Caroline: Leila wrote, “For me, it’s less about finding time. It’s more about keeping that spark alive. I prioritize useful and joyful. I’m not making stuff that’s for a party like I used to or one-off intensive things. I’m making something that will brighten my everyday, that I will want to put on and wear right now, and will remind me of how much I love sewing and why I should drag my tired, foggy self over to my machine.”
Helen: And Leila has a couple more tips for us. “I read the instructions out loud. Gone are the days of trusting that I’ve read and understood things. I’m too distracted, sleep deprived, and brain foggy to follow instructions without reading, reading again, checking I’m doing the right thing, and then sewing. I know an irretrievable mistake will make me wanna give up and stop coming back.” Leila’s second tip is: “I have multiple projects on the go at once, all saved in individual project bags. When I started, I thought one focused project would be a good idea, but it meant I would hit a harder or more time-consuming point and I’d just stop. And with sleep regressions and all sorts of leaps, there might be a whole month where you get really short naps or contact naps or whatever, and no time to tackle a big step. Having multiple projects on the go with everything saved together, like thread, the wound bobbin, et cetera, means that I can decide which bit I have the mood and time for and chip away at multiple things at once. This one has actually been a game-changer because I’m finishing more than when I just had one thing on the go.”
Caroline: These are such great strategies, I think it totally makes sense to prioritize what kind of projects would make you the happiest, and I bet the answer would be different for different people. I also think that having multiple projects is a smart way to always be making progress on something.
Helen: Yeah. This is actually a strategy I apply in my sewing practice, too. I love having multiple projects on the go. I like having them at different stages because I’m just not in the mood for things sometimes. And then I can just be like, oh, I actually would like to just cut something out, or I’d like to insert an invisible zipper…well, that never happens, but you know what I mean.
Caroline: This is not something that I do. I think this would make me really overwhelmed and, like, anxious. But also, what’s the difference, I guess, between that and having, like, a box full of unfinished projects, I dunno.
Helen: Yeah, are those projects, what’s the difference between a project on the go…
Caroline: And a project that’s…yeah. I think how much dust has gathered on it…
Helen: Dead in a box.
Caroline: Is the difference.
Helen: It’s so true. I do end up with things cut out for, like, a year that haven’t been started, but then I’ll finish them every once in a while and it feels good.
Caroline: Yeah. You are great for that, Helen. We heard from parents and caregivers of older kids, too. Ann wrote: “It evolved over the years as a parent. Mine are 15 and 18 and, honestly, it’s been the last 10 years and counting of high-intensity travel sports that have impacted my sewing time. But since I have limited time, I take advantage of it whenever I can. I don’t procrastinate. I’ve also brought my sewing machine to tournament hotels.”
Helen: Ooh! next step: Bringing your sewing machine to the pitch, to the gym, wherever these sports are taking place.
Caroline: To the pool. The pool might be tough.
Helen: I love that you take your sewing with you. We do have an episode called Sewing and Travel that’s all about sewing when you’re not at home, and that’s number 234. And I also like your point about not procrastinating. That’s really tough. So good on you for not doing that, because I feel like I always do that, but sometimes it’s just so much easier to jump right in and start doing it.
Caroline: Yeah. Absolutely.
Helen: Amanda wrote, “I’ll often bring projects with me to our extracurricular activities. Small things like pinning, seam ripping, or hand stitching can be done while I’m sitting in during ballet, jiu-jitsu, or other activities. My kids also love when I cut patterns out and let them crumple the scrap paper into snowballs.”
Caroline: This is a really great idea. Another way to fit those small sewing tasks into a busy day. And I bet those snowball fights are so much fun.
Helen: I’m a true child at heart because when I read this I was like, oh, I love crumbling the scraps into snowballs, too. I totally get it. Okay. @wander.makes wrote, “When they were younger, I sewed after bedtime, but now they’re a little older and their video game time is my sewing time. All of my makes are unofficially sponsored by Goat Simulator 3.”
Caroline: This is hilarious.
Helen: It’s so practical. Get your kids into video games. Hot tip.
Caroline: Yeah, absolutely. I love it. Okay, we’re almost done, but we wanted to leave on an encouraging note. Katie wrote, “When I first had my daughter, she never slept, and I thought I would never get to sew again. I tried to give all my sewing stuff away to a friend. Thankfully, she wouldn’t take it and told me to give it some time.”
Helen: Smart and wise friend.
Caroline: Yeah. Truly, what a good friend.
Helen: Yes, sometimes you do need a break. And you can certainly downsize if you want the space, but sewing is gonna be there whenever you’re ready to come back. We’ve heard, over the last eight years of podcasting, countless stories of people coming back to sewing after a hiatus, whether it was children, career, illness, all sorts of reasons. And you just never know when you’re gonna stumble upon it and it’s gonna light you up again. So hold onto that stuff if you can.
Caroline: I know, it’s so true. Alright, thank you so much everyone who sent in their stories, their tips, their strategies. I certainly learned a lot and I’m excited to implement some of these tips in my own life.
Helen: Yes. And parents and caregivers out there, you’re doing absolutely amazing and thank you for teaching your kids to sew. Let’s spread that love.
Caroline: Yeah. A hundred percent.
Helen: That’s it for today’s episode of Love to Sew. You can find me, Helen, at Helen’s Closet Patterns and Cedar Quilt Co. and Caroline at Blackbird Fabrics and BF patterns. We’re recording in beautiful British Columbia, Canada.
Caroline: You can support Love to Sew and get access to bonus content by subscribing on Patreon or Apple Podcasts. You even get access to the back catalog of bonus episodes. That’s over 75 hours of Love to Sew. Go to patreon.com/lovetosew or check out our podcast page on Apple Podcasts for more info.
Helen: Head to lovetosewpodcast.com to find our show notes. They’re filled with adorable pictures of children from this episode. And if you’d like to get in touch with us, you can leave us a message at 1-844-SEW WHAT. That’s 1-844-739-9428. As you can tell, we love your voicemails, or you can send us an email at hello@lovetosewpodcast.com.
Caroline: Thanks to our amazing podcast team. Lisa Ruiz is our creative assistant and Jordan Moore of The Pod Cabin is our editor. And thank you all for listening. We’ll talk to you next week.
Helen: Bye-bye.
Caroline: Bye.
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