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Transcript: 

Helen: We are recording today on the traditional, ancestral, and unceded territories of the Coast Salish and Kwakwaka’wakw peoples, including Tsleil-Waututh, Squamish, Musqueam, and K’ómoks first nations.

Hello and welcome to Love to Sew. I’m Helen, the designer behind Helen’s Closet Patterns and Cedar Quilt Co.

Caroline: And I’m Caroline, the owner of Blackbird Fabrics and BFPatterns.

Helen: We’re two sewing buds who love to sew, and it’s the only thing worth talking about.

Caroline: In this episode, I am going to tell everyone all about making my own wedding dress! From designing to fabric shopping to muslining to hand sewing, I’m going to share my joys and lessons learned.

Helen: Ooh! Congratulations, Caroline! If you love to sew, this is your show.

Caroline: Hi, Helen.

Helen: Hi, Caroline!

Caroline: Ooh! I am excited for this episode. It has been a long time coming. Hasn’t it?

Helen: Oh, my gosh. Yes, it truly has. And I mean, first off, huge congratulations to you on your marriage.

Caroline: Thank you so much.

Helen: I mean, more importantly on the completion of your wedding dress though. Let’s be real.

Caroline: Yeah. Let’s get those priorities straight. I made my own wedding dress y’all, and it was no joke. It was serious. I made it. I did it. And I finished it.

Helen: Yes. I cannot wait to talk about it. It’s such an exciting episode. We’re going to hear all about your wedding dress journey. And I think when you decided to make your own dress, we already knew that this was going to happen. We had to do an episode about it. So now the dress is finished. You had your beautiful wedding. We can finally talk about it, and I’m so pumped.

Caroline: Yeah, we debated doing this episode last season or earlier in this season, but ultimately, we decided we wanted the wedding to be finished and everything to be done so that we could do a true journey from beginning to end and a true debrief. So it’s really exciting. We are going to cover everything. I’m going to talk about the inspiration behind the dress, the process of making the dress, lessons learned, resources, and even share a little bit of advice for anyone thinking of going down the same path as me.

Helen: Ooh! Yes, because, you know, if they’re getting married next summer, weddings typically are in the summer, there’s no time like the present to start now.

Caroline: Yeah. It was about this time last year that I was waffling about whether or not I should make my dress. So if you’re waffling, maybe this episode will help you decide.

Helen: Yes! And we are going to do things a little differently in this episode. I, Helen, that’s me. I’m going to interview Caroline about her experience sewing her own wedding dress. And I have so many questions, and I can’t wait to get started. So let’s jump in. Are you ready?

Caroline: I am so ready. Let’s do it.

Helen: First question, Caroline, I want to know, from your perspective, how was the wedding? Can you share a little bit about your overall vision for the day and how it went and just tell our listeners a little bit more about it?

Caroline: Okay, well, thank you for, indulging me and allowing me to talk about just the wedding in general. But yes, the wedding was amazing. Shea and I are super grateful that everything went really well on the day. And we had several events actually that weekend. We had a welcome dinner. And we had our wedding. We hosted a little family brunch the next day.

So there were a lot of moving parts, and everything came together even better than we envisioned. It was a total hit. And if you listen to our bonus episodes you’ve probably heard a lot of this already because I’ve been talking about my wedding for, like, the whole year basically in every bonus episode, but I do want to share a little bit on the regular show about the day and, kind of, how it all came together and what the vision was.

So our wedding was, like, medium-sized, I would say. We had around 55 guests, which was perfect for us. And we did it at a community centre, on a golf course, right near our house. We definitely fell in love with the venue, like, the vibes were perfect. It was exactly what we were hoping for. It’s a historic building built in the fifties, and it has lots of exposed wood, really high ceilings. We just loved the feeling of the space. So as soon as we saw it, not only was it affordable because it was a community, kind of, hosted space, but we just really fell in love with the vibes there, so we knew that was the space for us.

And then on the day with the decor, obviously, I had a lot of fun thinking about decor and planning decor. So we went for, like, a rustic, whimsical, colourful look for the wedding, which I think works really well for both my style and Shea’s style. We really, kind of, like, wanted to make it feel like us. We had a lot of orange terracotta accents, which has come as no surprise if you know me and my style, but we also brought in some jewel toned velvet furniture for, like, a little lounge area. We had string lights to, kind of, add to the cosiness.

And we also brought in really colourful seasonal flowers and, sort of, scattered them around everywhere. The flowers were, like, burgundy and purple and yellow and orange and, like, there was just so many beautiful, kind of, warm tone, but also colourful, flowers all over the place. And that was really fun. We actually picked up the flowers from a local flower farmer, and we ordered buckets from her, and then, we did the flower arrangements ourself, so that was one of my favourite parts actually.

Helen: So beautiful. I absolutely loved the flowers at your wedding, and this is a benefit of getting married around the end of summer because you get dahlias and dahlias are so beautiful. And just, like, otherworldly, they’re so cool looking, like, stunning, stunning..

Caroline: Yeah. No, the flowers were amazing, and obviously, we’ll share lots of pictures. But our main goal for the day was just to have a fun party with all our friends and family. We love food. We really wanted to have great food at the wedding, and we wanted to dance the night away. So we had our wedding catered by a barbecue truck, and they had their smoker on site, which was really cool because when guests came up they could, like, smell the smoked meat happening. We served family-style meal. We had ribs and brisket and smoked chicken and mac and cheese and beans and coleslaw, cornbread, all the fixings. It was so good. Take me back, honestly. Like, when I talk about it, like, my, I’m, like, salivating. The food was so delicious. I was so happy.

Helen: It really was. That brisket was unreal. And you forgot to mention the Kool Aid pickles.

Caroline: Oh, my gosh. The Kool Aid pickles: polarising. I’ve heard from some guests that they thought they were weird. I personally thought they were so cool. But literally, it’s exactly what it sounds like. Our caterer makes pickles that he brines in Kool Aid. So they were, like, bright purple and, kind of, like, sweet…

Helen: Yeah, and, like sweet and sour.

Caroline: Yeah.

Helen: It was so good. I loved them.

Caroline: It was really different. I loved it. And then it was also important to us to add a lot of personal touches to our day. Shea and I are both really creative people, and we love hobbies and doing things with our hands and all that, so we wanted to, kind of, incorporate that into the day. So we actually spent this whole year making mugs for all of our guests as wedding favours.

This was another element of the day that was really special to us and just one of my favourite things. It was a huge project. And one of the biggest projects that Shea and I have ever taken on together, but we’re so proud of these mugs. I’m so excited to see them in the homes of all of our loved ones. It was just definitely one of the highlights, I think, of the day for our guests, as well. Like, I remember walking into the venue and seeing people, kind of, gathered around the mug table.

The way we set it up was everyone could pick their own mugs as they arrived. So there was definitely, like, a bit of a rush to the mug table, but there were no bad mugs. They were all really different and fun. And yeah, we made them all kind of unique and we really split it down the middle. Like, half the mugs were mine, half the mugs were Shea’s work. And yeah, that was an awesome part that I loved a lot.

Helen: Oh, it was so great. What a great wedding favour to take away. Like, uh, we got two because there’s two of us in our household, so that was such a treat. And I really do think of the wedding every time I use it, so it was a huge success, and kudos to you for that project. Like, on top of all the other things that you were doing to prepare for a wedding, you’re gonna make, what, 50, 60 mugs? That’s, that’s a lot.

Caroline: Yeah, we made even more because we accounted for the possibility of there being, like, mugs getting ruined because that definitely happens during the process. But no, it did. They turned out so well, and we had, like, we were, kind of, talking about it early, early days. Like, do we want to do this? Do we not want to do this?

And I’m so happy we decided to do it. We knew it was going to be a ton of work. But it was just, like, a really nice way to spend some time together and work on something together for the wedding. And we knew that our guests would really appreciate the favour. And yeah, it just turned out great, so that was awesome.

Shea and I also took dance classes to make our first dance extra special. We did, like, a choreographed dance, I guess. But it wasn’t, like, crazy or anything. It was just a slow song. We danced to Harvest Moon, which is one of our favourite songs, and that was really nice. I, I loved that personal touch, as well, and I think our guests enjoyed that.

And then, like I mentioned with the flowers, my family and I all worked together to make the flower arrangements the day before the wedding. And we used thrifted glass bottles that I had been sourcing all year long with the help of my best friend, Sarah, who has a little Instagram vintage reselling shop called Dwelling on the Past, a little plug there, but she’s awesome.

And she helped me so much with wedding decor, and the glass bottles was one of the things that she really helped me with sourcing. And then Shea and I also designed all the stationary and signage for the day. I had the, kind of, vision for that, and Shea was able to execute it with his expert Photoshop and Illustrator skills, which was awesome.

And then I even incorporated fabric into the ceremony. I wanted to do, like, a draped fabric arch behind us for the ceremony portion, and it turned out so cute. I was so happy with it. So I’ll definitely attach a picture of that if anyone wants to see how that turned out. And then, obviously, my wedding dress. That was a huge personal touch for the day. I made my niece’s flower girl dress, as well. So those two things were both big projects. Obviously, the wedding dress was even bigger, the biggest…

Helen: Just literally bigger. Yeah.

Caroline: Literally bigger and mentally bigger. But yeah, no, that was really the icing on the cake was being able to make my niece’s flower girl dress, as well.

Helen: Yeah, well, and you used the same fabric, so you guys were actually matching, and it was so cute.

Caroline: Oh, my gosh.

Helen: Like, incredible. It was such a beautiful day. I loved your wedding. It was so fun. I had such a good time. We danced the night away, truly, like, so much dancing. And you guys looked great throughout the evening, at the altar, I mean, all of it. You just looked incredible.

Caroline: Oh, thank you so much. Yeah. Well, thank you also listeners for listening to my little spiel on the wedding. And hopefully that sets the scene…

Helen: Yeah.

Caroline: …for the dress.

Helen: Okay. Let’s get into the dress. I want to hear a bit of the background story. What inspired your decision to sew your own dress? Was there something that pushed you over the edge into “I’m going to do it”?

Caroline: Yeah, so I actually didn’t come to this decision lightly. When we got engaged, this was back in December 2020, I actually didn’t think I would make my own dress. I feel like you and I even had conversations where I was like, I’m not making my own dress. I told myself it would be too much stress and that I should just leave it to the professionals.

I just really didn’t want that big project for my wedding. But over time, I really warmed to the idea. I felt like I wanted to feel that personal connection to my wedding dress. And the more and more I looked at inspiration and, like, ready to wear wedding dresses, the type of dress that I was envisioning wearing really didn’t exist.

Like, it was really hard to find, especially in shops that I had access to or sizing that I had access to, so that was definitely a factor. And truthfully, a part of me also felt a little bit like people would expect me to make my own wedding dress. And if I’m being honest, I was thinking about, like, the day of my wedding having people be like, did you make your dress? And having to say no. I just, like, I don’t know, part of me just wanted to be able to say, yes, I made my dress. So yeah, that’s, kind of, like, the thought process behind it.

And then about a year before the wedding, I decided to go dress shopping. I wanted to have that experience with my mom and Shea’s mom who really, really wanted to go dress shopping. And I also just, kind of, wanted to, like, entertain the idea of buying a dress instead of making one. And I told myself that if I found the perfect dress, I would buy it. I would just, like, save myself that time and effort and just purchase a dress. But in the end, this dress shopping experience, kind of, cemented my decision to make my dress.

Helen: Oh. Uh-oh.

Caroline: Yeah.

Helen: No, I do want to hear a little bit more about your dress shopping experience. It’s one of those things that’s always pictured on TV and in movies as being this, like, beautiful, wonderful day where you get be arincess and try on all these things and everything looks amazing and everyone’s crying. And I don’t know. I’ve been to a few dress trying on things, and it doesn’t really go like that.

Caroline: No, and I mean who hasn’t seen, like, Say Yes to the Dress? Like, we all have that idea in our minds of, like, what it’s gonna be like to go dress shopping. I’m gonna be honest, it wasn’t the best experience for me personally. It felt like the wedding dress, kind of, world didn’t cater to my size 20 body.

Most of the stores I went to just didn’t have dresses even remotely close to my size. So I had to squeeze into dresses that were way too small for me, like we’re talking size 14 or under, which just didn’t even feel right in the moment. I was like, I don’t feel like I should be asked to put this dress on my body. It wasn’t fun. And it just didn’t feel like there was a lot of effort made to make larger bodies feel comfortable or beautiful in these stores. Like, the whole experience is just designed around smaller bodies.

And even though I, like, kind of, did some research and called ahead and tried to find places that carried larger sizes, the range of dresses that were available to try on in those larger sizes was so limited. And it was so discouraging to be looking at racks and racks of dresses and then be told, oh no, you can’t actually try that one on because it doesn’t even come in a 14. Like, it only comes in a six or an eight.

Or, you know, have, like, this tiny little section of dresses that I could actually try on and close on my body. And then everything else, you’re, like, just sort of making do, and they add fabric and clips. And some salespeople were a lot better about it than others, like, just in terms of, like, making me feel like my body wasn’t the problem and, like, making that experience a little bit more seamless. But then some of the salespeople were, like, not so great about it and didn’t make me feel good.

So it was not the best experience. And there were also plenty of dresses that I loved that I couldn’t even try on, like I said, because they were just too small. They just would not even go on my body, even if you add fabric to the opening or whatever. And also, by the way, when you do that, you don’t get the full dress experience. Like, you don’t, when you’re trying on a dress that’s, like, six sizes too small, like, your, the cups are too small. Everything is too small. So you don’t even get to see, like, what the dress would look like on you if it did fit.

Helen: Yeah, you’re not comfortable.

Caroline: Yeah, you have to, like, conjure this image for yourself. And then it, kind of, broke my heart that there are people who don’t sew who have to go to these stores and, like, literally make a choice about a dress that they don’t even fully get to see on their body. And it’s a lot of money. I don’t know. The whole experience made me, kind of, angry. I’m getting, like, a little bit worked up even just thinking about it honestly.

Helen: Fair enough.

Caroline: Yeah, it was just, there was just a lot of weird, like, there was some stores that were like, this is our new collection. Isn’t it so great? But you won’t be able to try it on for another six months because we’re not getting the larger sizes for six months. And it’s, like, okay, well, cool. So you think that, like, smaller people deserve to wear these dresses before me. Like, I don’t know. It was just not cool.

Helen: Well yeah and think about all the sizes that aren’t included at all, too, right? Like, you’re on the smaller end of fat so it’s, like…

Caroline: Exactly.

Helen: Most, most people are actually fully excluded from that experience.

Caroline: Yeah. And they’re saying like, oh, we have plus sizes, but they’re talking about a size 18. You know, they’re not talking about a size 24, 26, 30 and beyond, which personally, I think all, like, wedding dress stores should have, like, a small, a mid, and a large size. Like, have the big size so that larger people can have that experience, too. And you can always cinch it in, but it’s really hard to visualise a dress when you’re taking it out to a large degree, so I don’t know.

Helen: Yeah.

Caroline: It was just really infuriating, but really that experience, sort of, like, added fuel to my desire to sew my own dress. And I think this is often the experience of sewists for any kind of ready to wear shopping. You go out and you shop and often you don’t find what you want and you’re like, you know what?

Screw this. I’m gonna make it, you know, because these people don’t care about me, and I want to feel good in my clothes. So, in the end, I’m really glad I made my own dress because I was able to, sort of, shape that experience for myself, and there was no icky feelings along the way. I just felt really excited to be able to make something that was literally made perfectly for me.

Helen: Yeah. So many icky feelings. And then at the end of the day to have to also give them your money is, like…

Caroline: Oh, yeah.

Helen: …twisting the knife.

Caroline: And so much money, so much money, you know. It’s a huge investment to buy a wedding dress, so, yeah. Anyways, that’s my little rant. If anyone wants to talk about wedding dress shopping with me, hit me up, I will vent with you cause it was not fun.

Helen: Oh, I’m very sorry to hear that. But I am also glad that you decided to make your own dress. And I’m excited to hear a little bit more about the inspiration. Where did you decide to go design-wise once you’d made the decision to sew your own?

Caroline: Yeah, okay, so. My wedding dress shopping experience did help me a little bit because it, kind of, helped me to figure out what styles and details and fabrics I didn’t like. And it was also really interesting to see the construction of dresses, the types of fabrics that were being used, even though I, kind of, ended up going in a different direction than a lot of the dresses I tried on.

It was really helpful to just, kind of, like, get in that mindset, especially trying on different necklines. I thought that was really, really helpful because wedding dress necklines and, like, bodice fits are quite different than the kind of clothes that I would wear on the day-to-day. So it was nice to be able to try that on my body so I didn’t have to make a million different muslins to try to even figure out which direction I wanted to go.

But in terms of design inspiration, Pinterest was my go-to. I had a board basically since I got engaged, I’ve been, like, adding ideas to this Pinterest board. And yeah, so that’s, kind of, where I’ve ended up finding my ultimate dress inspiration.

Helen: Yeah, you had a pretty clear vision. There was one dress in particular that you were, like, I want this for me, but with, you know, my fabric and my size and all that, but it seemed like you were really into that one dress. Can you tell us about it?

Caroline: Yeah, there was this one particular dress that I fell in love with quite a long time ago. It was after we got engaged. I started looking at inspo and I found this dress on a blog, but the fabric was really unique and I just couldn’t find anything even remotely similar to that fabric.

I waffled a lot on design and fabric because aside from that dress, like, I didn’t really have a super clear vision of what I wanted. I was like, I want this dress, but I don’t know if I can achieve this look without finding the right fabric. So I, kind of, abandoned that dress idea, tried to find another design that made me just as excited.

And I went back and forth for a while. Like, I think it was really stressing people out, too. ‘Cause, like, even you, my mother-in-law was also really invested in this journey. So she was, like, calling me and being like, how’s the dress going? And I kept being like, I don’t know what I’m doing yet ‘cause I just couldn’t decide on something.

My mind, at the back of my mind, I always just had this one dress. So one night I decided to do, like, a super deep dive trying to find this unique fabric. I’m going to tell y’all about it in a couple of minutes, but I actually ended up finding, like, literally, it was probably, like, 2 a.m., and I was like, I will find this fabric. And I found, like, a dead ringer.

Like, I was so excited when I saw this fabric, I took it as a sign. I was like, I found the fabric. I am going to recreate this, like, dream dress that I’ve had in my mind for the past couple years. And yeah, because I just wanted to pretty much replicate this exact dress that I had my design figured out pretty quickly once I found the fabric.

Helen: Ooh. Okay. Can you describe the dress for us? Obviously, we’re going to include tons of photos in the show notes and on social media, but give us a little verbal rundown of what it looks like.

Caroline: Yes! Okay, so I’ll describe the inspiration dress first. It’s a Mara Hoffman dress that is no longer being made. It also did not come in my size to begin with. I think it only goes up to, like, a size 14, bleh, but I first saw it in, like, a wedding spotlight on that blog called June Bug Weddings. They do, like, a lot of different blog posts with different weddings and pictures and all that stuff. I’ll link it up in the show notes.

But the dress is ankle length, it has a fitted bodice with, like, a low v neck, a gathered skirt. It has these beautiful, dramatic, puffy sleeves that go to the wrist. It buttons all the way down the front with, like, fabric covered buttons. And the fabric itself, this unique fabric that I was having so much trouble finding, is, like, a cotton eyelet.

I don’t know for sure because I didn’t see the fabric in person, but from my eye, my fabric eye, it looked to be cotton. It has, like, a large scale, kind of, geometric floral pattern. It’s flowers, but they’re very in a grid sort of shape. And the unique part of this eyelet that made it really difficult to replicate is that it’s two-toned.

So the base fabric is, kind of, like, a creamy ivory, ecru colour, but the stitching on the eyelet is a sandy beige colour. So it’s not, like, super contrasty, but it’s definitely tonally different. And you can see that stitching really well, which is how you can, like, notice the pattern. So yeah, that was the fabric that I was having so much trouble finding.

The dress that I ended up making turned out really similar. So basically same description, long puffy sleeves, long gathered skirt, low neckline, but not as low as the inspo because the girl wearing the inspo dress didn’t have a lot of chest. So my bust is quite a bit larger than hers, so the super, super low wouldn’t have really worked on me, so I went a little bit higher. The sleeves, like, not quite as dramatically puffy. And the fabric, while it’s really similar, it’s not the exact same fabric as the original, so it does look a little bit different.

And because of the sheerness of the fabric, I ended up picking I ended up lining it, so a little bit of a different look. I should do, like, a side by side or something to see, like, how close I got it. But I think I got it pretty close. I, kind of, adapted it to work for the fabric that I found and my body, which was very different from the person who was wearing the inspo dress, so…

Helen: Yeah, well, and that would be a bit of a challenge having an inspiration picture where the model is around a size four or six. So, like, trying to envision how that’s going to translate when you’re wearing it on your own body with a different, kind of, figure shape and all that stuff, that would be difficult. But I really love the way that your dress is, like, this beautiful homage to your inspiration picture. Like, you really got there in the end, but it does look like its own unique dress, as well. Like, it’s almost like you designed it yourself.

Caroline: Well, if you want to talk about, like, infuriating. It’s like, if you’re looking for inspiration for wedding dresses, the number of wedding dresses photographed on larger bodies is, like, even less than the number of wedding dresses available for larger bodies in stores.

It’s, like, it’s almost impossible to find inspiration where you can actually see a dress on a larger body. Like it was so rare so, I mean, I think a lot of us are used to that in sewing where you’re looking at a picture of something that you want to make, and it, it’s not your body. You, kind of, have to have that vision. But I am so happy with how it turned out. It really did come together.

Helen: Yeah. And I think the fabric you found brought a little extra flair, as well. Because from the looks of the inspiration picture, the eyelet that they use was more cotton looking, and you ended up with one that had a little bit more sheen to it. It almost had this, like, silky feel and look. And so it took it to, like, an elevated level, I thought.

Caroline: Yeah. Okay. We,should we talk about the fabric?

Helen: Yeah. Okay. Tell us about sourcing. Where did you find this? How long did it take you?

Caroline: It was really challenging, like I said. Like, I I looked. I didn’t find anything. I, kind of, abandoned the idea of finding this eyelet. And I was actually then planning on using some of our deadstock bridal fabrics that we had at Blackbird Fabrics earlier this year. We actually still have a lot of them in stock because we got quite a bit of them, but none of them were, like, quite right for my vision.

Like, I just couldn’t make it work in my mind. And I was, like, really wanting to achieve that look. So that night when I was searching high and low, I ended up finding the perfect fabric from an online shop called Fabrics and Fabrics, who, by the way, great customer service, fastest shipping ever. Like, I think I got my fabric within a couple of days, and they’re based in the U.S., and I’m in Canada.

And the lining and underlining that I used were deadstock fabrics that we happen to have at the BF warehouse. And I got my notions from a bunch of different places. I can talk about that more in a sec. But the fabric itself, let me, like, circle back, I’m getting ahead of myself. The eyelet fabric, so we’ll include photos in the show notes, but it’s actually a cotton rayon blend eyelet.

In person, it’s quite lightweight. It almost has, like, an organza/voile type of a feel to it. And honestly, it feels like silk to me. Like, if I, without a burn test, just, like, to the naked eye and, like, touching the fabric. It had, like, a really high end silky look. And the thing that made it feel so spot on for me with my inspo was that it had that two-tone effect.

So the base was, like, an ivory, and the stitching was not as sandy as the inspo dress, a little bit more of, like, a creamy beige, I guess, less grey undertones, but really, really close. And then when you added that, like, lining behind it, which I ended up using a cotton lining because I still wanted to get that, kind of, like, not too formal look.

I didn’t want to line with, like, a shiny silk or a satin or something. I decided to go with a cotton lining, which I think really, like, helped that stitching pop and almost dressed down the fabric just enough to make it work for the style of the dress, which I would say is a little bit non-traditional as far as wedding dresses go.

Helen: It is, like, non-traditional by today’s standards, but it has a traditional look if you think about, like, older style wedding dresses.

Caroline: Yes! True.

Helen: It was a really nice mix.

Caroline: Yeah, it wasn’t floor length. There was no train. It, like, hit me at the ankle. And the sleeves and everything, yeah. And also, ooh, the nice thing about the fabric that I ended up choosing, because it had sheerness to it, I was able to have a sleeve that was, sheer or semi-sheer, I guess.

Whereas the inspo dress was, like, the fabric was thicker so there was lined, but it didn’t, like, pop really. So the sleeve and the main body of the dress, kind of, looked the same. Whereas my dress, because the fabric was more sheer, the sleeve I was able to have, like, some skin, kind of, peeking through, which I thought really added to like the elegance and it, I don’t know, it made it look a little bit more unique compared to the inspo dress.

Helen: Yeah, it was incredible. The sleeves I think are my favourite part. Just, you know, I love a big puffy sleeve. And the fact that they were sheer, it just was so pretty.

Caroline: Yes! Oh, my gosh. Yeah. The sleeves were also one of my favourite elements to sew and even the fitting process, in the muslining process when I was trying to get the fit right of the sleeve, that was, like, the most fun element to manipulate because it’s pretty easy to manipulate a sleeve and get different looks with the fullness and gathering and sleeve head and all that stuff. So playing around with that was, like, I don’t know, much easier, I guess, than the bodice fitting, which we’ll get to in a minute.

Helen: Yes, we will. Okay, I think now’s a good time to take a quick break, and then, when we get back I want to hear all about the making of this dress.

Caroline: Love to Sew is made possible by listeners like you. We are so grateful for the support of our amazing patrons and subscribers. If you love Love to Sew and you want to help support the pod, we have a new option for you.

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And we’re back! Before we get into the actual sewing, I want to know when you started sewing the dress. When did you actually begin?

Caroline: Oh, my gosh. We should have, like, a Price is Right style game where people guess when I started this dress because it’s pretty predictable. I, kind of, left this dress to the last minute. I did a lot of thinking and not a lot of doing for quite a while. So it was November 2022 when I decided to make my own dress. I didn’t make any serious moves until May 2023 when I finally found this fabric and purchased the fabric. And then I actually didn’t start working on the dress seriously until the end of June. And my wedding was in September. So, you were freaking out, I remember.

Helen: Yeah.

Caroline: You were like, you gotta get going, Caroline! But…

Helen: I just wanted you to start so badly because you’ve been talking about it for so long, and I’m like, you… Please, please. Make a muslin. Just make some-, do something.

Caroline: Oh, my gosh.

Helen: Okay, did you end up using a pattern for your wedding dress?

Caroline: Yes, I did. I actually used several patterns. This was another tricky step for me because I was, again, faced with the challenge of finding a similar pattern to my inspiration that was also available in my size. Sadly, I was not quite successful at finding a pattern in my size, so I ended up going with two Deer and Doe patterns.

I went with the Magnolia Dress and the Orchidée Dress, and I, sort of, pulled elements of both of the patterns and mashed them up as my, like, starting point. So I didn’t even muslin them separately. I just, like, looked at them, traced different parts, kind of, made it work. And sadly, the size ranges are a little bit lacking on these patterns. They only go up to a 45 inch bust and a 48 inch hip. I think the newer Deer and Doe patterns have a better size range, but these ones are a little bit older in the catalogue.

So I ended up cutting the largest size on both of these patterns and grading out from there, which is not ideal, but it wasn’t the hardest thing because I am a little bit smaller in my top half. The bottom, like, of the skirt is just a gathered skirt, so that was just an easy one to adjust. And with the bodice I knew I was gonna have to make a lot of tweaks to it, so I just started somewhere, and then, I went from there.

I will say these patterns are, like, a true starting point. Like, I made, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many changes to these original patterns, so you wouldn’t be able to, like, get the look of my dress straight from these patterns. I made a lot of adjustments, but it was helpful to start somewhere. So if you want, like, a starting point to get the look, I would start with something similar and then just manipulate as needed.

Helen: And that’s a really great tip because it can be really challenging to find a wedding dress pattern. Like, there are some out there if you look at, like, the big 4 catalogue, in particular, but just find a pattern that has the style lines you’re looking for, the, like, crucial fitting points that you’re trying to achieve. Like, for you, it was that fitted bodice with the princess seams. So if you can find that and then you can manipulate things like the sleeve and the skirt pretty easily, so don’t be disheartened if you can’t find a pattern that perfectly matches your vision.

Caroline: Yeah. And there was actually a Vogue pattern that was also very similar that I almost went with as a starting point, but it wasn’t available as a PDF. It also didn’t come in my size, so I would’ve had to, like, order it and wait for it and then work with the tissue pattern, which, you know, I’m not a fan of. So I didn’t end up going in that direction, but if anyone’s interested, I can find the number and put it in the show notes ‘cause I think that would’ve also been a really good starting point.

Helen: Yeah, I do love Deer and Doe patterns, too. They have such a wonderful romance in their style. And I think they are going back and updating all the past patterns slowly, but surely, so that’s great.

Caroline: And the Magnolia Dress, in particular, is one that a lot of people have used to make their wedding dress, which I thought was, kind of, interesting. Like, looking at inspo on Instagram and all that stuff, I was seeing a lot of Magnolia wedding dresses. So there’s something about that pattern that just translates really well to bridal.

Helen: Okay. Take us through this process from beginning to end as far as actually sewing the dress. How much fitting was involved? How many muslins did you make?

Caroline: Oh, my gosh. Helen, there was so much fitting involved.

Helen: More than expected, I think.

Caroline: Oh, my gosh. I think I made, like, 8 to 10 muslins total, most of them not complete muslins. A lot of them were just the bodice, but still, it was a lot. My first muslin was of the entire dress and looking back, it was pretty funny. And yes, I do have photos that I will share. But Helen, do you remember the convo we had? I think we were texting…

Helen: Yeah.

Caroline: …when I took photos. I, like, finished the, it was, like, a full dress, and I was like, I, like, finished it, and I, like, sent it to our little sewing group chat, and I was like, what do you guys think?

Helen: It’s done. Here it is.

Caroline: And I think I had, like, blinders on a little bit, but…

Helen: It was cute. No, it wasn’t, like, it wasn’t terrible by any means. I think our friend Tasia and I were both just, like, a little bit like, oh. Like, it was really, it wasn’t actually that similar to the dress that you’d shown us, so I think that, kind of, threw us off because, like, it had similar elements, but the style wasn’t quite the same. And, like, it had, it was very buttoned up the front. Like, it looked really conservative and, like, I don’t know, very Ren Faire, we said. We decided it looked very Ren Faire.

Caroline: Yeah. It was giving Ren Faire. It was giving milkmaid. It was giving… Like, Nat and Laura, at work also, I was chatting with them about it, and they were like, you, kind of, look like you could be, like, greeting people at Disneyland. Like, you know, like, it’s just had that, sort of, vaguely costumey vibe.

Obviously, looking back now and knowing, like, where I ended up with the dress, it was really not right, but at the time I was like, okay, it’s starting to come together, and, like, it fit. I put it on my body and it fits, so that was cool. But no, the neckline was a lot higher.

One of the things that I changed pretty quickly was, like, the buttons down the front. I had originally, kind of, put them quite close together. And I ended up, I think on the finished dress, they were two inches apart. Each button, which really modernised the look, like, a really close together, like, self-covered button front can really give, like, Ren Faire.

Helen: Yeah.

Caroline: But the, like, kind of, spacing a part of the buttons, I think really helped to make it look a little bit, I don’t know, bring it into this decade. And then the sleeves also, I needed more drama in the sleeves. That was one of the things that you suggested. You were like, I think we need bigger sleeves.

Helen: Bigger sleeves. Also, the neckline. I think you were, like, a little scared from your dress fitting experience in the store. Like, you tried on some, like, wedding dresses these days, a lot of the styles are very cleavage focused. There’s nothing wrong with that, but I know that wasn’t what you wanted, and so…

Caroline: Yeah.

Helen: …you’d gone, like, way up.

Caroline: Yeah, I don’t know, like, about anyone listening. If, I’m sure many people have had this experience, but, like, as someone with a larger chest, when you wear something with cleavage, like, you always get comments.

Helen: Yeah.

Caroline: Like, there’s always somebo-, some family member who’s gonna be like, whoa, or like, ooh, boobs, you know? Like, as if they haven’t seen them before. But you get, I had, like, insecurity about the idea of, like, showing too much, you know, which I definitely, like, kind of, came around to the other end, I guess. Is that right?

Helen: Yeah, you did. No, no, your dress was a perfect balance in the end, and it was just, like, just the right amount. And that was one of the first things I commented on. I was like, can we just, like, undo a few of these buttons and…

Caroline: Yeah!

Helen: …like, tuck them back and see what happens?

Caroline: Yes! Which I, exactly! I ended up just basically undoing some buttons and pinning them back, and, like, that change alone, it made a huge difference. And then the other thing that I changed from the original muslin was I ended up, a later down the line through the different iterations, I switched the back neckline to a square neck, like, a lower square neck. Beforehand, it was, like, just up, you know, like, very…

Helen: Full back.

Caroline: …basic back, full back, exactly. Which I think also, kind of, added a little bit of a detail that brought it into modern times.

Helen: Yes. It’s funny. You don’t think that the back really matters all that much if it’s not going to be, like, a statement back, but having it go all the way up, even though, you know, your hair was probably going to be covering it. It just didn’t look right. It felt, it felt off. Yeah.

Caroline: Yeah. I’m really glad I made that change as well. But yeah, I think the bodice was the hardest thing to fit the most challenging part. It took a lot of different iterations to get it just right. And it was just a lot of, like, pinching here, taking it out here, marking with Sharpie. Okay, let’s, like, add a little bit there and tweaking the neckline, like the armhole, where that would sit on my underarm, the princess seams. There was a lot of back and forth.

And a couple of times where I was like, okay, I’m overfitting now. I need to take a step back, you know? And definitely some mistakes were made. Like, when you’re taking a four-piece bodice and changing it again and again and again, like, there was definitely a time when I forgot to add seam allowance, and then, I tried it on, and I was like, well, why is this two inches too small, you know? Like, little things like that, when you’re really in it, that happens. You just have to bounce back. I bounced back.

Helen: Yeah. And overfitting, I think, is a common thing that happens too when you’re really engrossed in a project like this where you’re trying to get the fit perfect. You can go too far…

Caroline: Yeah. Totally.

Helen: …and try to fit every little tiny wrinkle. And fitting also changes day to day. Like, one day you might think it looks great, you try it on the next day, you’re like, wait a second, where did that wrinkle come from? It’s just a bit of a minefield in that way.

Caroline: Yeah. And then, like, at a certain point when I was into the fitting, I had this realisation of like, oh. I need to figure out, like, what bra I’m going to be wearing on the day of my wedding if I’m going to wear a bra and not, like, have this structure, kind of, built into the bodice.

So then I had to go bra shopping, which is, like, a whole other beast that is horrible. But I ended up finding a bra and that also helped me to be like, okay. This is what the boobs are gonna be like on the day exactly so I can.

And that’s one of the tips that I would definitely have is, like, figure out your undergarments early so that you’re doing all of your fittings with that because a bra fit can really change where your, your bust, your chest sits right, so…

Helen: Yeah.

Caroline: …so that took me about a month. I was muslining from late June to late July.

Helen: Late June to late July. So then that leaves just a month basically to actually sew the dress, right?

Caroline: Yeah, pretty much. Honestly, like, going into it my goal was to finish the dress in July. I was like, I want to be done by August. That didn’t happen. But I am glad that I set that goal because if I had been like, I want to be done in August, then I would have been sewing my dress, like, in the weeks leading up to the wedding, which I really didn’t want to do.

Helen: Did you have to work on it, like, consistently, like, every day during August? Like…

Caroline: Yeah.

Helen: How much time were you putting in?

Caroline: Well, so I actually had a lot of house guests in August. We had a wedding of a friend of mine, so I had another friend staying with me who was here for the wedding. I had, my brother moved to Vancouver in August from Toronto. My sister came to visit. My parents came to visit. Like, we literally had, like, back-to-back house guests.

So I told everyone, I was like, I am working on my wedding dress. So I tried to spend a few hours every couple days on it, if I could, or, like, squeeze in an hour here and there. I didn’t play, like, I wish I had, like, put on timers and paid really close attention to how much time I spent on the dress. But if I had to guess, I think I probably spent about 20 to 30 hours on the final dress. And that was throughout the month of August. I spent the whole month of August working on my dress, and I finished it by the end of August….

Helen: Oh.

Caroline: …about two weeks before my wedding.

Helen: Yeah, that’s pretty good though. ‘Cause I, no offence, thought you would be working on it the night before.

Caroline: Oh, gosh. I know. I think a lot of people did, and I was working on my dress when we were interviewing Wendy for the podcast from WithWendy, and I don’t know if you remember when we were hearing about her wedding dress experience. She was talking about working on it the night before, and she was like, don’t do what I did. And I was like, I’m not going to do what you did. I promise.

And, like, she was really worried about it. And, like, I just felt like I really needed to not be working on it the week of, and I’m proud of myself. I’m proud of myself that I finished. Not to say that I wasn’t working on other sewing projects the week of my wedding, but none of them were, like, so important that it was make or break.

Helen: Yeah, no, you got it done. And once you nailed the fit, you can feel a little bit more confident about the dress coming together, but you still had to sew the precious fabric…

Caroline: Oh, yeah.

Helen: …which I’m sure was a bit daunting. Did you include any details or techniques in the dress to make it feel extra unique or extra special?

Caroline: Yeah I really wanted to incorporate some, like, more couture techniques in the final dress. So I ended up doing a ton of hand sewing mostly because, like, I wanted to have that control, you know, like, when you’re sewing by hand you can manipulate every piece so that it’s sitting just perfectly. You’re not, like, at the mercy of your sewing machine, like, moving things around or getting something caught underneath.

So I hand sewed a lot of different elements of the dress starting with the bodice. So because the fabric was sheer, every bodice piece I underlined by hand and then it was then lined. So I wanted, obviously, no, like, raw seam allowances to be showing in the bodice, so it needed every piece needed to be underlined, which is basically when you’re underlining something you’re cutting a duplicate of the main fabric, and you’re putting that underneath, and you’re attaching it all along the raw edges so that you’re basically doubling up a fabric and treating that then as one layer and then continuing with the rest of the process.

So every piece was underlined by hand, and then I constructed the bodice by machine, And I constructed the lining by machine, but then when it came to attaching the sleeves, I ended up, kind of, sewing the sleeve on. But then when I closed the lining around the sleeves, I hand sewed that close. So where the lining, kind of, met the sleeve opening, I, kind of, folded that under, and there was a lot of clipping involved and, like, slow, slow hand sewing. Also, just, yeah, kind of, seam allowances, locking them in place so that they would stay in place and not move around. There was some, like, whip stitching involved to, kind of, keep things down.

And then in closing the bodice, like, once that bodice was constructed and I attached the skirt and I wanted to close the lining of the bodice, I did that by hand. I inserted a hidden zipper in the bodice, as well, which is something that, I kind of, went back and forth on. But with the very, like, fitted nature of this bodice, I was worried that with the buttons being two inches apart that I would just end up sitting down the way your body moves, you know, like, it, kind of, pulls the buttons apart. I really didn’t want to be worrying about that.

Helen: Yeah.

Caroline: So I ended up doing, I don’t know if I would call it a lapped zipper, but, sort of, like, a lapped zipper where it was, kind of, on the inside of the bodice, so you really couldn’t see it from the outside. But it just acted as, like, a full secure closure and the buttons were, I guess, technically decorative, although they still buttoned, like, it was still, you know, like, a true button closure, but that zipper was, like, that extra layer of closure. And that was also by hand.

I also hand sewed these, like, little loops at the shoulder, which I’ve seen people do, but I’ve never actually tried myself, a little thread chain loop with snaps at the shoulder to keep my bra straps hidden, which worked amazingly. Didn’t flash my bra straps at all on the day, which was great. But yes, it was a lot of hand sewing, more than I have ever done or probably would ever do again. But I did get really comfortable with hand sewing, and now I feel much better at it. So, yeah, I definitely learned some new techniques.

Helen: I’m glad you went for the hand sewing because we talk about it on the show constantly about how great it is because you have more control and it’s beautiful and all that good stuff. So I’m really glad to hear that you went for it, even though I know it’s not your go-to usually. And we had a great guest on the show who I’m sure inspired you a little bit with your hand sewing.

Caroline: Oh, my gosh. Okay. So funnily enough we interviewed Bernadette Banner around the time that I was, like, deep into working on my dress, and I, to prep for the episode, was watching a lot of her videos and just watching her sewing. I picked up some really great hand sewing techniques from watching her work. And even simple things like sewing a secure back stitch, instead of a running stitch, a back stitch is much more secure, especially in certain applications.

So watching her do that, I was like, okay. You know, when you see something in video form, it’s, like, so much easier to absorb and understand. So that’s one of the resources that I would recommend, especially if you’re doing a lot of hand sewing is, like, watch some of Bernadette’s videos because…

Helen: Incredible.

Caroline: …she just basically constructs entire garments by hand. And so you get to see all different types of stitches and techniques and little things like, little tools that she has around, little, in some of her videos, she’s like propping up her work so that it’s, like, at eye level, so you’re not hunching over. So, I kind of, rigged up little things on my table so that I could have my sewing at eye level when I was doing all of that hand sewing. There was just so many little things that I picked up from her.

And then, other resources. So obviously, past guest Brooks Ann Camper is, like, a hand sewing queen, so I visited her blog…

Helen: Wedding dress queen.

Caroline: …and a wedding dress queen. Yeah. But I visited her blog and browsed some of her, like, process posts. She does a lot of really great posts featuring wedding dresses that she’s made. She does custom bridal. So really, really gorgeous work. And her post, the one that I thought was really helpful was she has a post on attaching bridal button loop tape, which I ended up using, kind of, that elastic-y loop tape.

And then also she recommended hiding metal hooks in, like, strategic places to keep things in place. And I did, even though I had that zipper, I did end up using metal hooks in a few different places on the inside of my dress, which really was effective for what I needed to do. So, yeah.

Helen: Ooh. Yeah. There’s so many amazing resources out there. So you can definitely learn a lot of different techniques for sewing something like a wedding dress, even though you’ve never done it before. It is doable. I love Brooks Ann’s blog because she makes the most incredible custom bridal and very unique to the bride. And she’s a great storyteller, too. So just a great place for inspiration as well.

Caroline: Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Helen: Okay, can we talk budget because I think people often think sewing is less expensive than ready to wear but of course, as sewists, we know this to not really be true. But what about for something really expensive like a wedding dress? Was it cheaper to make your own dress than to buy one?

Caroline: This is a great question, and I did tally up my, like, approximate costs, but I didn’t include my time in this costing. So the biggest investment for me was the eyelet fabric that I purchased. With the exchange rate, I ended up spending about 450 on fabric. Now I did order a lot of extra fabric because I was really worried about running out.

Which, because I had so much fabric, I was playing a little fast and loose with my cutting, you know, like, I wasn’t being as careful with how I cut and fabric, kind of, consumption and conservation while I was cutting. And I actually did end up recutting, having to recut something, which I’ll talk about later. So I’m very happy that I got extra fabric because it was needed, and I ended up using a lot of the extra little pieces to make my niece’s flower girl dress, so that also was part of that.

The lining and underlining fabrics that I used I ended up using some deadstock fabric that we have at Blackbird HQ from a designer that we haven’t put online. Effectively, it was free for me, but if you were getting some, a fabric like this, it was not, like, a crazy expensive fabric. When we sell this fabric at Blackbird, because it’s, like, deadstock that we picked up, we’ll probably sell it for pretty inexpensive, like, five to ten dollars a metre. So that would be like another hundred dollars, I’d say, on lining and underlining fabrics. And I ended up using the same fabric for the underlining and the lining.

The zipper was, like, five bucks. The button and button loop tape was about 50 dollars with shipping and everything. The patterns were 35 dollars for the two patterns. And then I also used some deadstock for the muslin and, like, fitting fabrics calling that free because I think you could use fabric from your stash for that. So total was about 540, 640 if you account for that 100 dollars of deadstock fabric that I used.

If you include my time in the cost, it would be much more expensive on paper. I spent two months working on this dress, probably averaging, like, eight hours a week, so about 64 hours total. But most of the dresses I looked at were over 1,500 dollars. Many of them closer to, like, three, four thousand dollars, so…

Helen: Oof.

Caroline: Yeah. If you’re considering your time, you know, maybe it’s on par, but if you’re, sort of, counting your time towards like, I don’t know, this is something I’m doing for myself.

Helen: It’s my hobby anyway.

Caroline: It’s my hobby anyway. Exactly. I think a lot of us don’t necessarily consider our time when we’re, like, costing out projects. So I think if we look at it that way, it is less expensive than ready to wear.

Helen: It sounds like it.

Caroline: But it’s unique to me.

Helen: It is wild how expensive wedding dresses are, considering that, like, you can buy a fancy dress that’s not a wedding dress for…

Caroline: Mm-hmm.

Helen: …much cheaper.

Caroline: I know and, like, don’t forget you have to wait, like, a year basically for your dress. Like, a lot of dresses take, like, eight months to be made and then another couple months for alterations. And more money for alterations. So yeah, wedding dresses are not cheap.

And also, I mean I see a lot of content online around, like, thrifting wedding dresses, people who like, you know, don’t necessarily buy new, maybe they buy used…

Helen: Yeah.

Caroline: …or they buy, they find a wedding dress in a thrift store which is great. If you can do that, that’s great. But I will say I have never seen a wedding dress in my size in a thrift store. So I think that would be really challenging for a larger person. And I don’t necessarily think that’s an accessible option for everyone.

Helen: No, but it is a great option if you are on the smaller size end. And I think that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. I have had so many friends do used wedding dresses, buy them on Craigslist or at thrift stores, and they look absolutely gorgeous.

Caroline: Oh, yeah.

Helen: And it’s still your special dress for your special day, so go for it.

Caroline: Oh, so true. Like I, I would have considered that option if I thought it was an option.

Helen: Yeah, exactly.

Caroline: ‘Cause I think you can find gorgeous dresses at thrift stores or secondhand. And that history is really cool, too.

Helen: Yeah. I do think there’s also just so much more value in the fact that this dress fits you perfectly, and it’s literally one-of-a-kind, it doesn’t exist anywhere else. You created something totally unique and that personal touch also has a lot of value. So, it’s hard to put a price on that, you know?

Caroline: Yeah. And you know what? I’ve been thinking a lot about what do I want to do with my dress now? And I haven’t decided yet, but I am considering, like, rehoming it. I’d really love to not sell it, but, like, give it to somebody who would want to wear it to their wedding and maybe with the promise that they would then pass it on to someone else, you know?

Helen: Oh, my gosh, listeners.

Caroline: Travelling wedding dress.

Helen: Yeah. Like, sisterhood of the travelling wedding dress.

Caroline: Truly though if anyone out there is interested, like, hit me up because I really would love, to find somebody who would wear this dress again because it’s crazy. You spend so much time and effort on something and then you wear it once and, like, I’m not going to wear this dress again.

I’m not going to shorten it and dye it. Like, I’m not, you know, like, it’s this dress is, it’s the dress, and it’s still in, like, perfect condition. So, yeah, someday I would love, someday soon hopefully, I would love to find a new home for it and someone who will be able to wear it again.

Helen: It’s so tempting to keep it because of the sentimental value, but a lot of people just end up with them sitting in the closet for the next 40 years or whatever.

Caroline: Exactly. Yeah, I have a lot of photos of it. So I am a sentimental person, but I don’t think enough to keep this wedding dress for the next 40 years.

Helen: I think you’re underestimating how excited some of our listeners out there would be to wear your wedding dress, Caroline. Like, I wanna wear it.

Caroline: Oh, my gosh. I’m honestly not even joking, though. If anyone is interested, please get in touch with me because, honestly, giving it to a listener would make me, I’m going to, like, cry thinking about it, it would make me so happy.

Helen: Oh, that’s so sweet.

Caroline: Just going to put that out into the universe, who knows, right? Okay, let’s move on.

Helen: Yes. Okay. Big question coming your way. Do you have any advice for people out there who are thinking of making their own wedding attire, be it a dress or otherwise?

Caroline: Yes, I do. Okay. I thought a lot about this. I mean, everyone’s on their own journey, right? This is my journey. Everyone’s journey is different. I am a unique person who doesn’t work super far in advance. That’s just who I am. But I would give the advice that you want to give yourself enough time. I would say start early.

I know this is not easy for some people like me, but I was really happy that I had the time to take a step back and come back to this process with fresh eyes when I needed to. And I think if I had left the dress until, like, the week before or the two weeks before, I wouldn’t have had that luxury. And that really made a difference for me.

For example, one of my biggest challenges throughout the final dress process was getting the neckline opening to sit closed at the very top where the v, kind of, intersects at the bottom of the v neckline. Just the way that I constructed it with the buttons and the zipper, like, it was, kind of, pulling apart a little bit at the very top, and I tried a bunch of different, like, hooks and snaps and things to, kind of, keep it secure. Nothing was working. It wasn’t sitting right.

And I was able to just, like, step away. I took a day or so, I thought about it, it was, kind of, at the back of my mind, and then I was like, okay, let’s try a different kind of hook. Let’s try this different position for the hook. And it worked! I ended up figuring out a solution that worked. Sometimes when you’re, like, so in it and on a deadline, like, it just feels so dramatic and you’re like, I have to figure this out, and then if you don’t, it’s, like, very hard, so you don’t have to give yourself a ton of time, just give yourself enough time to be able to take a breath and step away from it if you need that moment of clarity.

Helen: Yeah. And I think it’s ideal if you give yourself extra time to also take breaks and work on other things.

Caroline: Oh, yeah.

Helen: You might get tired of working on your wedding dress and you’ll want to sew a t-shirt or something, have a little palette cleanser. So having a little time built in for that would be great, too.

Caroline: I actually ended up making a dress for our friend’s wedding in the middle of the process, and that was great. Like, having that moment to step back. and I think like, I don’t know if it was you or Shea or someone was like, why are you working on this when you should be working on your wedding dress? But, like, I just needed that palette cleanser, and it was really nice to, to be able to make something else and then come back to it. And I wouldn’t have been able to do that if I had left it to the last minute.

Helen: Yeah.

Caroline: So that’s a great point. Okay, my next piece of advice would be to set goals and milestones for yourself and tell somebody about it. So tell your friends and family, like, I think I told you I wanted to finish the dress by August. Obviously, it didn’t end up happening, but it kept me somewhat on track knowing that there were people who were going to ask me about it and follow up with me.

And I did have a few people in my life that were really good at, like, gently nudging me, you included, Helen. And that was really helpful to just know that, like, these people were supporting me and, like, excited about this journey and just keeping me on track. I do really well with that outside accountability. So if you have that kind of personality, I think that’s really helpful.

Helen: Yeah. That makes sense.

Caroline: My next piece of advice would be to mentally prepare yourself to make a lot of fitting adjustments. Obviously, it depends on the style of the garment that you’re making. I laugh when I think about our interview with Claire Birnie, and I think I mentioned this on the bonus episode, but when we interviewed Claire from Sew Outdoorsy for the pod, she was telling us about how she made her wedding dress and she said something, I can’t remember the number, but she said that she made, like, over a dozen muslins. I think it was, like, 13 or 14 or something.

And I, like, cackled. I was like, ha-ha! It couldn’t be me. Like, I would never make that many muslins. That’s ridiculous. In the end, I, I wasn’t that far off. Like, I was kicking myself. Everything took so much longer than I thought it would, especially, like, that journey to, like, achieving that perfect fit and look that I wanted. I thought I would be able to do it within, like, a couple iterations. Didn’t happen. Like, it took a lot of work and revisiting this pattern to get it to the place that I wanted it to be. That might not be the case for everyone, but just build in enough time and, like, get ready for it. And then if it doesn’t end up being that way, then at least, you know, you were ready.

Helen: Yeah. That’s true. Then, you can be, like, really pat yourself on the back, and then, you can be like, Claire and Caroline are both ridiculous.

Caroline: Oh, my gosh. Okay. My final piece of advice is to take notes and, like, document the process for yourself, not just for the memories, but also just to have, like, a written, kind of, catalogue of everything that you need to keep in mind. Like, I filled pages and pages of my notebook with fitting thoughts, changes, measurements notes, I was constantly taking my measurements, construction steps because I was, kind of, working on with, like, a hybrid pattern. I, sort of, had to come up with the construction steps on my own.

When I was ready to make my final dress, I sat down and made a list of every step that I would need to do and milestones and little notes of, you know, don’t forget to add this little detail or whatever. It really helped me to stay focused and know what needed to be done next so that I didn’t have to think too much about it.

And similarly, this is a big one, if you have pattern adjustments to make, make them on the final pattern. So I made a very rookie mistake, which led to some drama. I wanted to add a few inches to the length of my skirt, and I didn’t think too much about it. It’s such a small detail. It was, like, a, quite a rectangular skirt because it’s a gathered skirt.

So the whole time I was fitting, I was like, I’m just going to add a few inches at the end. I’m just going to add a few inches at the end. And when it came time, I was so exhausted. I didn’t feel, like, adding a few inches to my pattern pieces. So I was like, I’m just going to remember to add that length when I go cut out the fabric. Obviously, I’m going to remember. Guess what happened, Helen?

Helen: Nope. It never happens because you’re going along with that rotary cutter, and you’re just like, ooh, here I go. It’s like when I try to cut things flat when they’re supposed to be on the fold. I’m like, I’ll, I’ll remember to flip it over. I won’t cut right up the centre back.

Caroline: Oh, my gosh.

Helen: Every time.

Caroline: Yeah. So I didn’t remember, and then, I was kicking myself because I wasn’t that diligent with fabric conservation. So I, I ended up having to recut my skirt pieces, and I didn’t even have enough fabric from, like, the batch of fabric that I originally ordered, so I had to go back and I, like, panic ordered a couple extra yards, and then, they were, like, short.

I only ended up getting, like, another yard. I was, like, it was very dramatic, and I ended up being fine. And I did still have enough, like, off cuts to cut my niece’s flower girl dress, but, like, it was touch and go. And then honestly, like, if I hadn’t been able to get more fabric, I would have just ended up having to settle for, like, a shorter dress, which probably would have been fine.

But, like, I, it’s my wedding dress, you know, I wanted it to be perfect. So make the adjustment, like, don’t think that you’re going to remember. You’re not going to remember. Just do it. Just take the five minutes and, like, add the chunk of paper and, like, lengthen the skirt. Like, just, I’m talking about… Clearly, I’m talking to myself right now, but, like, just do it please.

Helen: I always try to get away with this. Sometimes I’ll write a little, like, in red pen at the bottom of the hemline. I’ll be like, add one inch here with, like, a big arrow, and I still don’t remember to

Caroline: Oh, yeah. And you’re just like, do, do, do, do, do cutting out, like listening to music or whatever. And you just forget. And like, yeah, that’s so annoying.

Helen: So annoying. That’s so funny. I mean, it’s not funny in the moment. I’m sure it was very… you were so panicked when you did it.

Caroline: I was stressed. I was stressed, but it ended up working out.

Helen: Was that the most dramatic moment in the whole experience, do you think?

Caroline: I think it was the most dramatic moment. Yeah. I think it was. Yeah.

Helen: That makes sense.

Caroline: Oh, my gosh.

Helen: Okay, I want to know a little bit about how you balanced just the emotional and physical demands of such a labour intensive project, especially during a busy time when you’re planning a wedding.

Caroline: Yeah. I, why did I do this? Wait, we just talked about it. Okay. I know I did it, but I, I worked really well, or I work just in general really well under pressure. Or, like, when I have a deadline, like, I’m a procrastinator, I will stay up all night to finish something. Like, I just, that’s how I work. That part was okay.

I was really comfortable working on this in the months leading up to my wedding. But I really quickly learned like, when I’m working on a tight deadline, something has to give, so I spent a lot less time cooking, cleaning, doing other hobbies. Thank goodness, like, Shea picked up a lot of slack. He took care of so many things around the house.

And we worked on our mugs further in advance because Shea is not a procrastinator like me. so we finished our mugs early. So I was able in those last couple of months to really focus on my dress and tune everything else out. Definitely, like, turned to friends, family, coworkers for support and encouragement when I needed it. Don’t be afraid to ask for advice. Like, sometimes just bouncing an idea off somebody else or, like, asking for troubleshooting advice will just solidify, like, what you already knew to be true.

It’ll just help you come to that decision, right? Like you’ll know right away if someone gives you advice, like if you want to follow it or not, but it, kind of, sometimes helps bring clarity to that decision. And just in general, challenges feel a lot less scary when you have someone to lean on when you can talk about that with loved ones. So that was a big one.

I’m really happy that I shared the process with Shea. He was there for me, like, every step of the way. I didn’t keep the dress a secret. I showed him all of my weird muslins along the way. He was there for, like, the late nights. He was pinning my, my bodice, the back when I needed help.

And I was just really happy to be able to show him the process and share in that, like, joy. Once it was finally finished, it really was, like, a really joyful moment when I finally came out in the dress and I was like, I finished. And he just thought it was so cool, and it just made me even more proud that he was, like, impressed with and loved the final results.

So that was a special thing that I’m sure not everybody would want to do, but it, for me, helped me to keep, like, morale high is, like, having someone there that was, kind of, on that journey with me.

Physical demands. I mean, yeah. Listen to our episode on sewing ergonomics with Rose Parr. I tried to do a lot of sitting and standing and making myself comfortable in those moments when I had to do a lot of hand sewing, stretching, try not to ditch all of my, like, physical fitness things that I like to do on a daily basis to try to, like, keep myself feeling good. So, continuing with that, I think is important. So you’re not just, like, having this, like, tunnel vision and just like hunched over your machine, like, a little, you know, yeah…

Helen: Oh, yeah. We’ve all been there.

Caroline: I think definitely. Yeah. Yeah, just make sure you maintain balance some semblance of balance as much as you can throughout.

Helen: Yeah. And giving yourself grace, too. It’s a very high pressure project, right, wanting it to turn out perfectly. Having this vision that’s, kind of, hard to execute. There’s a lot of different factors going on, and you’re very, it’s an emotional piece as well. So yeah, just giving yourself a lot of grace throughout the process. I’m sure it’s very important. What was it like to wear the dress on the big day? What did it feel like?

Caroline: It was pretty surreal. The whole day was surreal. Wearing the dress was surreal. One funny story I have is that so Shea and I decided to get ready together on the day. We wanted to have, like, a quiet moment to, like, get ready for the wedding. And so we, our photographer came, like, at the tail end of our getting ready time to start taking photos.

And I had already put on my dress. Like, I had just finished putting on my dress, and there were quite a few buttons and hooks and things to get in there. And the buttons are, kind of, hard to button, just the elastic loop and stuff. I don’t know. It was a challenge. I got it all on, and I came out and she was like, you look amazing. Can you take the dress off? I want to get some pictures of it on a hanger. And I was like, no!

Helen: Oh, no.

Caroline: I had to unbutton the whole dress, take it off, get photos, and put it back on. That was probably the most annoying part about getting ready. But in the end, like, once it was on, I was so happy with the dress. I was really comfortable. I felt really beautiful. The whole day was, kind of, a blur, but I didn’t notice the dress, which I think is a good thing.

Like, it was there. I felt good, but it wasn’t bothering me in any way. And yeah, it was so nice to be able to say that I made it and share in that joy with all of our guests. So it was a really special experience to wear a handmade dress on your wedding day.

Helen: Oh, I can only imagine. And I mean, I said this at the top of the show, but you looked absolutely fricking gorgeous in that dress. Like, it was such a showstopper, like, just so beautiful. It felt very you, and you could just feel the confidence radiating from you. And we know that that comes with sewing your own clothes. Like, it brings a certain spring to your step, you know, and I felt like I could feel that on the day.

Caroline: Yeah. Thank you so much. Yeah, no, it was, it was so special. And I just want to thank everyone, all of our listeners, for coming along on this journey with us, with me, over on Patreon and the bonus episodes, sharing that process but also today here on the show. I had a blast, and I’m happy that you all listened.

Helen: Oh, it was so fun to hear about it. And if you have any questions about Caroline’s wedding dress, or you want to own it for yourself, you can reach out to us via email or on social media this week. And we’ll be sharing tons of photos of the process, the finished dress, the wedding, all that good stuff over on our Instagram. So definitely you’ve got to go check that out.

Caroline: Oh, yeah. Thank you so much, y’all. We’ll talk to you soon.

Helen: Bye.

Caroline: Bye.

Helen: That’s it for today’s episode of Love to Sew! You can find me, Helen, at Helen’s Closet Patterns and Cedar Quilt Co. and Caroline at Blackbird Fabrics and BF Patterns. We’re recording today in beautiful British Columbia, Canada.

Caroline: You can support Love to Sew and get access to bonus content by subscribing on Patreon or Apple Podcasts. You even get access to the back catalogue of bonus episodes. That’s over 75 hours of Love to Sew. Go to patreon.com/LoveToSew or check out our podcast page on Apple Podcasts for more info.

Helen: You can head to LoveToSewPodcast.com to find our show notes. They’re filled with links and pictures from this episode. If you’d like to get in touch with us, leave us a message at 1-844-SEW-WHAT. That’s 1-844-739-9428, or send us an email at hello@LoveToSewPodcast.com.

Caroline: Thanks to our amazing podcast team. Lisa Ruiz is our creative assistant. Jordan Moore of the PodCabin is our editor. Margaret Wakelee is our transcriber. And thank you for listening. We’ll talk to you next week.

Helen: Buh-bye!

Caroline: Bye!

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